can't handle the worry from other people..

Kinki · #1 03-10-2015, 11:10 PM

Hey.

I have an observer personality, i didnt used to have this, its like i am yoda from star wars..

However i have energy like crazy, either angst, or energy i have to use when i am alone! where i usually dance. the problem is i am spiritually interrested. Some say i have been walking in the dark, others say i have been blessed, or gifted.

My problem is when i talk to people, it can very fast get directly to the persons problem. And when this happends it is like i am talking with their soul. What do it do? Last time this happended it was my mom, where she began to cry tears of joy (it seemed), the cat and the dog felt it. And i dont know how to handle this, i get anxious afterwards like "what will they do now, can THEY handle it" How do i stop myself from looking into people's problem and having this observer personality?

If there is 3-5 people i get anxious and usually have to literally go to my room. I have no problem with women, the problem is i feel like a princess in a bar, if i am at a bar, i feel the eye contact from women but usually dont want to have contact. And i feel so bad that i have to leave.

I have looked up "old soul" and yes! i have a personality that suites it, however the problem is not that, i have no interrest in social gossips at all, in school i used to think "why they be chasin girls when we can play football" and this will be a problem later in my life i believe, i need alone time, I dont care for that matter.

Thanks :)

naturesflow · #2 03-10-2015, 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kinki

Hey.

I have an observer personality, i didnt used to have this, its like i am yoda from star wars..

However i have energy like crazy, either angst, or energy i have to use when i am alone! where i usually dance. the problem is i am spiritually interrested. Some say i have been walking in the dark, others say i have been blessed, or gifted.

My problem is when i talk to people, it can very fast get directly to the persons problem. And when this happends it is like i am talking with their soul. What do it do? Last time this happended it was my mom, where she began to cry tears of joy (it seemed), the cat and the dog felt it. And i dont know how to handle this, i get anxious afterwards like "what will they do now, can THEY handle it" How do i stop myself from looking into people's problem and having this observer personality?

If there is 3-5 people i get anxious and usually have to literally go to my room. I have no problem with women, the problem is i feel like a princess in a bar, if i am at a bar, i feel the eye contact from women but usually dont want to have contact. And i feel so bad that i have to leave.

I have looked up "old soul" and yes! i have a personality that suites it, however the problem is not that, i have no interrest in social gossips at all, in school i used to think "why they be chasin girls when we can play football" and this will be a problem later in my life i believe, i need alone time, I dont care for that matter.

Thanks :)

A true observer can observe others without speaking, but rather listening and discerning when to speak, when to be still.

This is the art of trusting in flow in you.

Perhaps being thrust into this fully, your learning is currently to pull back energy rather than pushing energy outward.

The push/pull is about balance, no matter what arises..

Time for self to grow, is important. Letting others go and focusing on you fully.

You cant help being you, but balance is the key so you flow with yourself rather than feel overwhelmed and anxious.

True self flowing feels alive, flowing in joy of being no matter what you are being and doing.

naturesflow · #3 03-10-2015, 11:27 PM

You don't stop yourself being you, you learn to build balance by self reflecting on the feelings arising and clear out what is causing the imbalance and then proceeding to take action to meet that new balance.

Kinki · #4 03-10-2015, 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by naturesflow

A true observer can observe others without speaking, but rather listening and discerning when to speak, when to be still.

This is the art of trusting in flow in you.

Perhaps being thrust into this fully, your learning is currently to pull back energy rather than pushing energy outward.

The push/pull is about balance, no matter what arises..

Time for self to grow, is important. Letting others go and focusing on you fully.

You cant help being you, but balance is the key so you flow with yourself rather than feel overwhelmed and anxious.

True self flowing feels alive, flowing in joy of being no matter what you are being and doing.

I have been labeled "psychotic" And i have felt that flow of joy as you mention here, i dont know how i can look at that, because it was personal and it does not seem that others that i find on the internet is having the experience, but neither am i interrested in finding out about the experience. Here is what is it if you have not already read about my experience:

I asked one night on forum about "the answer to everything, when i know nothing is real" and some dude posted a long detailed answer to my question, he basicly wrote about neuro science and spirituality, i guess i surrendered to my "ego" that night, because i did not offend myself in the answer, where i usually would answer with a question if you know what i mean..

Well suddenly that night i fell into a trance in my mind, and fell down on my knees in a meditative postion, i felt like a tree sprung out from a seed in my head, and i saw this wonderful energy, green red and yellow on a black background, rotating itself slowly. but i had angst looking at it and felt my body again, i opened my eyes and rushed to my mirror, and i had very i called it "enlightened eyes" totally awake, and it felt like some all-knowing energy filling my head, wich i called "Prana" i pictured it as red. i felt wise for the first time words was comming from a source when i spoke, it felt like, i turned on my TV, and it had a Formula 1 car driving around for 14 minuttes and i cried tears of joy during that race, i could identify with the car driving around, (not the driver) I walked outside and everyone had these green enlightened eyes, the feeling i had was "magically joy" i would describe i felt like a wave walking down the street.

You know how it feels when dopamine is released to the brain right? that feeling when it kicks in the peace.

The next day the feeling of joy was "gone"

but a paranoia was also threatening me, as i felt this was more and more not real, i walked down the street thinking that people were illusions and this was in my mind, *that idea was stuck in my mind. Well i soon ended up at the mental hospital for some time, I danced and cried to the sun for hours and hours every day The eye color got back to normal on people after 4-5 days same with the energy i had to dance/no sleep. At the time i was using sound and "time" energy and life (even water)

As my ego is back today

should i take this as experience or future? Or even just look past it?

I have no need for surreal wisdom of spiritual truth, (exept if you know exactly what i experienced) I need to know how to get past all this :) THX

When i felt "one with prana flowing through me" as i typed; i wrote in lines like you do

Not real example here: Like you did

Kinki · #5 03-10-2015, 11:57 PM

Just like i did there with my state of trance really bad tho! dont try to make sense of what i wrote

but i wrote in more lines like i was some sort of guru to myself

The problem was i was trying to manipulate with people! The things i wrote didnt make sense only to me.. :s So was it really spiritual? I dont know

naturesflow · #6 04-10-2015, 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kinki

I have been labeled "psychotic" And i have felt that flow of joy as you mention here, i dont know how i can look at that, because it was personal and it does not seem that others that i find on the internet is having the experience, but neither am i interrested in finding out about the experience. Here is what is it if you have not already read about my experience:

I asked one night on forum about "the answer to everything, when i know nothing is real" and some dude posted a long detailed answer to my question, he basicly wrote about neuro science and spirituality, i guess i surrendered to my "ego" that night, because i did not offend myself in the answer, where i usually would answer with a question if you know what i mean..

Well suddenly that night i fell into a trance in my mind, and fell down on my knees in a meditative postion, i felt like a tree sprung out from a seed in my head, and i saw this wonderful energy, green red and yellow on a black background, rotating itself slowly. but i had angst looking at it and felt my body again, i opened my eyes and rushed to my mirror, and i had very i called it "enlightened eyes" totally awake, and it felt like some all-knowing energy filling my head, wich i called "Prana" i pictured it as red. i felt wise for the first time words was comming from a source when i spoke, it felt like, i turned on my TV, and it had a Formula 1 car driving around for 14 minuttes and i cried tears of joy during that race, i could identify with the car driving around, (not the driver) I walked outside and everyone had these green enlightened eyes, the feeling i had was "magically joy" i would describe i felt like a wave walking down the street.

You know how it feels when dopamine is released to the brain right? that feeling when it kicks in the peace.

The next day the feeling of joy was "gone"

but a paranoia was also threatening me, as i felt this was more and more not real, i walked down the street thinking that people were illusions and this was in my mind, *that idea was stuck in my mind. Well i soon ended up at the mental hospital for some time, I danced and cried to the sun for hours and hours every day The eye color got back to normal on people after 4-5 days same with the energy i had to dance/no sleep. At the time i was using sound and "time" energy and life (even water)

As my ego is back today

should i take this as experience or future? Or even just look past it?

I have no need for surreal wisdom of spiritual truth, (exept if you know exactly what i experienced) I need to know how to get past all this :) THX

When i felt "one with prana flowing through me" as i typed; i wrote in lines like you do

Not real example here: Like you did

Your experience is not much different to mine, only mine lasted months. So yes I understand this very much. No sleep and very much awakened I was.

The getting past bit you mentioned is not getting attached to experiences in this way. When things are heightened and awakening in the way you describe and how I would have described my own experience..(I didn't end up in a mental hospital I should add,but people definitely thought I was losing my mind, (and I was )You can easily slip into a kind of attached neurosis, (LOSING touch with reality) if that makes sense. The key is that you have to continue to constantly let everything go that your holding in yourself to let YOU arise more clearly and more connected in flow. Attachment and holding on only keeps you stagnant and can make you feel withdrawn and need to isolate. So in reflection of your issues with others this makes sense.

You are meeting your true self, direct connection to source in you. Naturally you will go direct to others source in themselves that is not in alignment with themselves. Trust is important in being true to you. So is discernment and letting go to build new eyes, new feelings and new balance.

Centring is important to build more lasting joy. If your overwhelmed and attached, you will face this to get back to centre.

Reality merges with spiritual union within, so often that lessons are about being you awakened merging back into reality and being ok with what arises in others in you being you.

Sometimes you are not going to like what others reflect back to you, but learning to process fully, let go in you, serves you to build deeper awareness and maintain a centre of joyful flow in being regardless.

Trusting that being truthful to yourself and opening others is exactly what they might need and you as one source in this life together. It is not of thought it just is and happens naturally, this is flow of being you connected in ways others may not be connected and vice versa, it applies both ways as one source... :)