I'm very unsure & confused, please help?

[CherryCherry]

So there is this guy that confessed having deep feelings for me around 2 years ago (Christmas time). He was drunk & told me how he felt about me over text, posted online for EVERYONE to see that he 'just wanted to see (me)'. He tried to walk to my house (45 minute walk) because he said he needed to be with me. I refused, but said I did like him and more or less stopped it there.

He apologized the next day but didn't take back anything he said. Then in person, he avoided classes with me for a few weeks and I was really embarrassed so I just didn't speak to him

Then, out of the blue (Valentine's last year) he asks me on a date. I went & he was such a gentleman, but very clingy. I was overwhelmed by how affectionate he was, so I kept acting aloof & pulling away. As we said our goodbye he looked disappointed and slowly stopped contacting me shortly after it. We never addressed the issue, do I just pulled away & stopped speaking to him.

A new college year started & he kept looking at me and trying to smile. He then started liking a lot of my pictures and posts online, then as soon as we'd finished our exams he started messaging me. I joked about meeting up and he said he actually wanted to, so we arranged it & he was really enthusiastic. I didn't bank on it, as everyone was going out the night before to celebrate and he would probably be hungover. He ended up oversleeping & was very apologetic. This was yesterday but I'm unsure if he still likes me or will contact me again. Obviously, I'm leaving him to come to me. What is your verdict? I feel a strange connection with this person and I sometimes feel hr can read my thoughts.

[starling]

Well now Cherry.

I think you need to chill out a bit here.... of course he likes you, why wouldn't he?

Again these things seems so important...

Just continue being yourself.

It sounds like you are doing fine!









ps if he should come back to you now, that's how you must leave it. Call if you like......but only once.

[CherryCherry]

Originally Posted by David F

Well now Cherry.

I think you need to chill out a bit here.... of course he likes you, why wouldn't he?

Again these things seems so important...

Just continue being yourself.

It sounds like you are doing fine!









ps if he should come back to you now, that's how you must leave it. Call if you like......but only once.

He did contact me a few minutes ago! I don't even know why I'm worrying, it's totally irrational and I'm never usually like this.

Thank you for your advice and reassurance

Sounds pretty strange and controlling - as you say one of the clingons! It also sounds like a bit of a scorpion dance - taking a long time to get nowhere but with a lot of interplay.

People invest too much in social media rather than being social face-to-face. So if you like him, go for it: treat him with equanimity, keep it light and airy, don't play too hard-to-get or you really will bring out the clinginess of this particular one. At the same time, don't surrender yourself to anything that may seem to him like he's made a conquest. And may lead you to upset the morning after its happened.

Such are my thoughts.

[CrystalSong]

Originally Posted by CherryCherry

He did contact me a few minutes ago! I don't even know why I'm worrying, it's totally irrational and I'm never usually like this.

:

Ah the beginnings of a relationship... those nervous flutters, not knowing what you are feeling, acting irrational and doing unexpected things. Trying to pretend he doesn't affect you,, then worried when he doesn't make contact.....:)

Nothing unusual here, human courtship and the unscripted mating dance...

Have fun!

[CherryCherry]

Aw thanks everyone, he's a Cancerian (very slow, clingy, loving but moody). I think the idea of the conquest may be why he's been trying for so long, as most young men would just give up when they get what they want - which won't be happening any time soon in my case! Haha!

On a serious note, I do feel I should just be more honest and open about things instead of aloof and closed off. I have been told that sometimes I'm too detached & 'independent' which may hurt a cancer, as they have to have some sort of reassurance (especially after he embarrassed himself so much to let me know he liked me).

I'm so grateful for your advice, he's asked to rearrange a meeting with me :-)

[starling]

Originally Posted by CherryCherry

Aw thanks everyone, he's a Cancerian (very slow, clingy, loving but moody). I think the idea of the conquest may be why he's been trying for so long, as most young men would just give up when they get what they want - which won't be happening any time soon in my case! Haha!

On a serious note, I do feel I should just be more honest and open about things instead of aloof and closed off. I have been told that sometimes I'm too detached & 'independent' which may hurt a cancer, as they have to have some sort of reassurance (especially after he embarrassed himself so much to let me know he liked me).

I'm so grateful for your advice, he's asked to rearrange a meeting with me :-)

As the other poster said.....the mating dance.....

Naaah, you won't "hurt" him, that just the stuff they pedal in Eastenders and the like, such talk is so fashionable.....:-/

Watch the clingy side someone one being manipulative if you think it it may go there.

Other wise, as I say just be yourself.

Some men AREN'T just after "one thing" by the way. I think that's a bit of broad brushing/ stereotyping but then it's right you are wary. Weare all different and subject (slaves ? haha) to our emotions.

[starling]

.................................................. .................

[CherryCherry]

So he contacted me again the other day and arranged to meet me yesterday (daytime). I messaged him yesterday asking what time (as anyone would) and I didn't even get a response?

I've kept my cool & just ignored the situation, but I feel something fishy is going on ... who does that? Looking forward the excuse I get today, if I even get one. I think I should probably ignore him for good now, depending on the excuse he gives


... and thanks again David for your response. I think a bit of manipulation is going in here! All of this has been his idea, it's not as if he's agreeing to meet me because I'm begging him or something ...

He arranges it, then nothing ...

[Faith33]

I'd have no tolerance for games, CherryCherry...unless you really like this guy and feel he's worth the trouble? Btw, that's what he feels like to me. ( trouble)