Parents..rant..

I have always loved my parents and I want a closer relationship with them especially my mother. I'm not sure if she will ever accept me. I was her only girl and I have four brothers who she treats differently. She's always been so hard on me, talking like she is always angry, I do everything she asks so she doesn't hate me. I just want her to be able to forgive me. I don't even know if this is in my hands anymore, every time I try to make things better I get met with more anger and her distancing herself from me. Its just kinda painful. I don't honestly know why I'm writing this. I guess I just needed to vent.

[Nature Grows]

It's ok don't worry why do you want her to forgive you, you don't even know why she's mad at you right? This seems like her problem not yours, and whats the point in trying to hug a dog that keeps biting you?

[CrystalSong]

Good advice from Nature Grows.

Sometimes its not about us at all - its about someone's inner relationship with themselves.

Could it be a slight unwitting jealousy having you in competition over your brothers and their attentions?

Or perhaps because you're female she has an affinity with you but not with your brothers, males, whose "mysteries" she can't come to terms with?

Difficulties come between mums and sons at puberty.

Until puberty, mother nurtures sons as she does daughters. She tends their wounds, makes their meals, can cuddle them and deal with their emotions. Then at puberty the male biology changes and things that were ok (between mum and sons) quickly become taboo.

It's difficult if not impossible for a pubescent boy to discuss those changes, his urges, with his mum. He has to "be a man". He can't go crying to his mum quite as easily and his adolescent emotions start to get hidden.

Not so with a girl as there's continuity.....sometimes. Mums understand a girl's changes - i.e. menstruation - even if they have trouble explaining the issues to pubescent daughters. They are closer to a daughter's emotions. In some cases it leads to maternal jealousy - and even suspicion.

So I'd just guess that a group of sons together growing up, having their own masculine things would present mums with a bit of a problem. Mum might think it best to leave them alone....although as Freud pointed out, there is a veiled attraction between sons and mothers. Hence she may see you as a competitor for what attentions are allowable....all without overt awareness.

Just a thought....

But for sure, you have nothing for which you need be forgiven. Perhaps, over a period of time, ridding yourself of such ideas might change her attitude toward you. You don't say how old you are but if beyond adolescence then you're your own person now.



PS: it's sometimes good to vent.