hey everyone rediscovering the goddess and needs advice

angelwolf4 · #1 17-05-2015, 07:32 PM

Hello everyone I go by my wiccan name Angel wolf and I am new to the forum.I have been solitary wiccan for six years but I had some experiences that kept me in a situation where I had to leave the wiccan way. When I first started out with it I felt so empowered by the Goddess and God everything flowed so well. I didn't practice spells because I felt more comfortable with just praise chanting and celebrating the sabbats. But nine months later I was raped and diagnosed with both bipolar disorder and post traumatic stress disorder. That has nothing to do with my faith but after my trauma I was hearing things and seeing things that caused me to become very fearful. After I came out of my horrible episode I had people tell me that it was my religion that caused the voices and the hallucinations. So I left my faith because I was afraid that if I became involved it would happen again. So I was involved with wicca on and off for six years. I feel that the way of the Goddess and God is the way for me it's just I dont want to run away from what I believe every time I have a scary experience. I have just recently began to rediscover the Goddess and God and I need help on how to reconnect without disturbances someone please help

Jenny Crow · #2 17-05-2015, 08:46 PM

Hello Angelwolf4

So sorry to hear of your awful experience. It's good that you're starting to reconnect with the God and Goddess again.

Whoever told you that it was your religion that caused you to hear the voices and have hallucinations were certainly not your friends, that's for sure. Of course it wasn't your religion that caused the hallucinations - what an awful thing to say. I would be asking the God and Goddess to give you strength and protection if you ever have a scary experience again.

I don't know what level of experience you were at previously but celebrating the Sabbats and Esbats should be an enjoyable experience for you.

angelwolf4 · #3 17-05-2015, 09:02 PM

Thanks for your feedback jenny I really appreciate it

norseman · #4 18-05-2015, 08:14 AM

Hi Angelwolf. In addition to the sound advice from Jenny, I would add that you could reconnect with Mother Earth. Simply by exposing yourself to great dollops of "green" - get out into the countryside as often as possible. Immerse yourself in land outside of towns and cities. Find somewhere that "speaks" to you, somewhere that you can become part of, establish your Land !
What I am saying is firm up your pagan roots first and foremost and then see what comes. Don't ever forget that Wicca is a young branch on an ancient tree and you may find what you seek in the heartwood of the "tree". I know I did

.
Oh, one last word - Meditation ! [ an essential tool ]
Best of luck.

angelwolf4 · #5 18-05-2015, 09:59 AM

Norseman thank you so much for the advice. It's very interesting that you would mention meditation cos that's exactly what I've been starting out with. So thanks again.

Treehugger · #6 18-05-2015, 04:53 PM

So sorry that happened to you, AngelWolf.

First off, it is NEVER ANYTHING you did, say, wear, worship etc. that caused you to be raped! Whoever is placing that blame on you by telling you it was your fault is, like Jenny Crow said, not your friend at all!! How awful for them to ever insinuate such a thing! Unfortunately, that mentality still exists.

If the only reason you left Wicca is because of negative, fear-mongering comments from someone, you need to look inside yourself and do what YOU feel is right for you.

I find it odd that people would say that honoring the earth and the elements is a bad thing.

angelwolf4 · #7 19-05-2015, 01:35 PM

Thanks treehugger that was so sweetie of you to say i appreciate your feedback

angelwolf4 · #8 19-05-2015, 01:39 PM

Thanks treehugger that was so sweet of you to say i appreciate your feedback and i will stay prayerful

Treehugger · #9 19-05-2015, 08:22 PM

You're very welcome, angelwolf4.

Caitlyn Laufey · #10 26-05-2015, 04:32 PM

Personally as someone who had been ignoring spirituality and connection with the Divine Feminine for most of their life I would suggest additionally attaching yourself to symbols and talismans representative of your chosens aspects or a specific Goddess or even a general concept. This has led me to a greater understanding and recognition of the presence in my everyday life. Keeping in mind I am Pagan not Wiccan specifically.

Good fortune to you and travel far