Please help me

[TheGlow]

You guys all seem so insightful .
If you could spare some of your care to help me I would greatly appreciate it.

Like all people I have had trama. Abandoned and abused as a kid I finally found a good friend at 17 and clung on for dear life. He is the first person I ever trusted. I married him at 22 and we have been together since I am now 38.

Anyways like people do everyone in my life has walked out but him. As a tiny kid monther and father both were not up to the task and us 3 kids basically raised ourselves.

So my husband is very kind but has no emotion. He is very kind but I never felt his love still can't. We are currently in counselling to see if he can be more emotionaly connected. He told me once he was emotionaly retarded that he could picture the worste thing ever and feel nothing. I almost think I chose him because he being so unemotional would likely never decide he loved someone better and leave.

Anyways my best friend I can feel his love or at least I used to be able to. He was the first person in my life that made me feel loved. It was great.

Anyways he has worse abandonment issues than I do so when he felt us getting to close he decided not to love me or allow me to love him. He says he still loves me but he can "flick a switch" and not show it. I could feel it happen.

I'm really trying to be ok. He's still my friend but I feel so bad now.
I felt loved and now not feeling it hurts more than it did when I didn't know what that felt like. I know I deserve love, I really like myself and Id say love myself or I wouldn't be so bothered that I can't feel it anymore.

I think everyone deserves to feel loved so what is keeping me from feeling it.
I have a husband that is very considerate, a safe home, a career that is hard but I seem to be good at. I should be happy. This should be enough. Why do u feel empty and that I would give up everything just to feel loved again.

Can you help me know what to do? I feel so alone.
I had my chakras tuned and I was told my energy was very supple, the practitioner loved my energy and said my husband and was very lucky so I can't be a walking train wreck but I really kind of feel like one,

The only thing I want out of life is to be loved and to love. Why do I not seem to be able to let it in?

Sorry if this is a weird thing to write I just need help so thought being honest with the issue would get the most help.

[11oris11]

Dear Glow,

We all want to love and be loved. Meditation, energy work, art, music, creating moments of joy in things that once made you both laugh, enroll or study something new that interests you.

I empathize with you, I met my husband when I was 16 and he was 19. We were both the eldest in our families, very responsible personalities and not prone to be overly demonstrative. He was a Virgo and I am a Libra. The first 20 years of our marriage, there were several times we would have divorced, stemming mostly from my perceived lack of "his" romantic emotion. I came to realize through almost 45 years of marriage, that he expressed his love in other ways. Although he was not emotionally or physically expressive, as I would have liked, he was loyal, thoughtful, a good provider, and supported me in following my dreams.

I came to realize that the only person I could change is myself, and in working on my being able to express more of my love to him, instead of waiting for him to express it to me, I discovered that in his own time my husband became more expressive of his love for me.

The old saying that we don't appreciate what we have until it's lost, is so true. I was there to support my husband at the end of his life through 18 months of cancer and hospice. He died in 2013. Today would have been our 46th anniversary, and I miss him.

I hope you and your husband are able to find and express your love for each other in a mutual journey of self discovery and healing.

[TheGlow]

11oris11 sorry for your loss. Even without an emotional connection I still appreciate my husband so I can imagine what losing your husband after 46 years is like. It's actually why I'm still married. I don't get the love I need but losing him is to big a risk.

I do really love my husband. My heart has been open to him since we met. He saved me so I never withheld any love and affection. If anything I was so ready to love someone that I maybe overdosed him to the point he never needed to reciprocate. Our counsellor says I have been over functioning to make up for his under functioning. Anyway I just wondered if there was a reason I could feel love from my best friend(he hides it now as much as possible), yet I've never felt it before from anyone. I know my relatives are selfish and incapable but if there is a block in me that won't let it in I need to work on it so I don't go without that connection to others for the rest of my life.

[Serrao]

I know God can give overwhelming love. Love from people is not as true and stable as God's love. Nobody can convince me otherwise anymore.

Best wishes .

[Shinsoo]

Sent you some, TheGlow. I hope you feel better!

Your situation sounds tough!

[Mr Interesting]

I've kinda been getting into Abraham Hicks video's on youtube lately and they say the only thing really worth doing is feeling joy, not from what you have, what you haven't, what has been, what will be... not for any other reason than simply being joyful.

It seems that this allows us to feel loved from source and then spread that love out from ourselves.

[TheGlow]

Thank you for your insite. I will look for that youtube video.
And Shinsoo thank you.

[11oris11]

Dear Glow,

Thank you for your kind words. It has been difficult. Each of us walk a path that is unique, and while there are things we share in common, like the need to love and be loved, our circumstances change in choosing the best way we respond to our life challenges. Each person must decide for themselves how to bring joy and love into their life, without worrying about what "other people think". Follow your hearts. I would also add that from personal experience, it is important to understand what true love means to you. It's a journey of awareness, experience, understanding, compassion, and forgiveness, in many forms. Abraham Hicks is good. There is also a DVD from Hay House worth watching "You Can Heal Your Life." Best Wishes...

[vitaraq18]

People on this forum are so kind

I felt the advice 11oris11 gave in her first reply was very useful stuff to try.

However, I also think you are doing all the right things too, counselling and talking somewhere like here can be very helpful. Perhaps it could be useful for you both to get individual counselling too.

Sending you healing strength x