Need opinions on this please!

[gravitysrainbow]

This has to do with the shadow self as well as male/female aspects of the self. I've been going through a process of opening chakras, experiencing kundalini, healing, etc. It's pulling up a lot of past issues and I'm doing my best in confronting them. I hear a voice at night that I originally thought was an entity, but now I'm pretty sure it's my shadow self. The initial message was a cry for help, but recently, it's made it clear that it's angry that I'm not listening or doing something it wants me to do. Last night, I had a dream I was this shadow aspect, female, and I was instigating fights with my brother (don't have one - represents male aspect maybe?) The brother remained calm and level headed but I kept pushing him away.
Obviously, I can't cut this part out of myself. I need to hear it out and come up with a way to live in harmony. I just don't know what it wants because the only indication I've received is that it wants to be destructive. Underneath the anger, it's probably just hurting.
Does this sound probable or could there be another explanation? If this sounds possible, how do I start comforting it? It seems to get offended by everything and take everything personally. I know I need to start by accepting it, but I have an aversion to it because it acts like a child.

[Ninoushka]

Sorry, but what is a shadow self?

[LadyMay]

Originally Posted by gravitysrainbow

I just don't know what it wants because the only indication I've received is that it wants to be destructive. Underneath the anger, it's probably just hurting.

You need to ask it directly. I'll share a story on my blog about the day I met my shadow: Making Peace With My Shadow.

You should do this technique that I used in my post. It's called active imagination. Go into your mind and be 'lead' to the right place. Set an intention to meet your shadow self and chat with it. You can do this over and over and work things out that way. It really speeds things up, and it did that for me. But learning to listen is a constant work in progress.

As a tip, don't try to dive straight into meeting your shadow self, visualise yourself in a scene, somewhere comforting, and 'ground' yourself into that scene. So that means touch any materials around you, smell any scents there would be, look real closely at stuff around you for details. These things get you more 'inside' your imagination as an active participant. Then imagine a door in front of you. Feel it, smell it, ect ect ect like you did with you opening scene, then open it and walk through to the first scene that you meet. You need to make sure you don't jump around too much between though and make sure that your reactions are 'real'. For example seeing a baby being beheaded in real life would make you horrified. That sort of thing. But over all make sure it's natural. Don't try to force anything. Shut the critiquing mind off for a while. Try not to analyse it till afterwards.

You get deeper into it easily if you do these things, though you might find it tiring. Start with a five minute meditation to clear your mind. And let me know how it goes if you decide to try it out!

Originally Posted by Ninoushka

Sorry, but what is a shadow self?

A repressed split off self-aware aspect of self attached to the subconscious mind.

[athribiristan]

In my own journey, I find I make the best progress by integrating rather than separating any concepts of self that may occur to me. For example, many people talk about killing the ego, or letting go of it. I embrace my ego, it is a part of who I choose to be here in this incarnation. Without it I am ignoring a part of who I am in this lifetime. The same can be said of any conception of self we might have: our higher self, a shadow self, true self, whatever label you care to use it is all self. Accept and embrace all aspects of self so you can become whole and proceed from that state of wholeness.

In inner child work, I went through a stage where my inner child annoyed me, because I blamed her for the problems in my adult world. And the child me was distrusting and unwilling to open up to the adult me, because the adult tried to dismiss her every time she wanted to speak.

Firstly, I accepted that aspect of myself as I would accept an actual child, and realised that it was wrong to try to shut her up. With that realisation I opened up communication by writing to that aspect of myself, and saying the words that I knew she needed. In time, that opened up some trust for the child self to speak about how she felt - and, it may sound weird, but I became the comforting parent to the child within, rather than the harsh critical parent.

It had a very powerful healing effect for me.

[gravitysrainbow]

Thank you, guys :)
My initial fear reaction had been "this is not good... I need to cut this part out of me" but then I said to myself, "duh you can't do that... It's not a tumor! It's an part of you!" Both parts make up the whole and both parts have their strengths and their weaknesses. But they need to work together in harmony, embrace each other, and listen to each other if they want to heal.
ScarlettHayden, I really appreciate you posting your method. I'll have to give it a try. I'm never alone when I hear mine - there's usually an angel assisting or comforting me. I have seen some disturbing images, but theyre usually followed by a flash of light. I'll be sure to read your experience and post mine.

[gravitysrainbow]

Originally Posted by Ivy

In inner child work, I went through a stage where my inner child annoyed me, because I blamed her for the problems in my adult world. And the child me was distrusting and unwilling to open up to the adult me, because the adult tried to dismiss her every time she wanted to speak.

Firstly, I accepted that aspect of myself as I would accept an actual child, and realised that it was wrong to try to shut her up. With that realisation I opened up communication by writing to that aspect of myself, and saying the words that I knew she needed. In time, that opened up some trust for the child self to speak about how she felt - and, it may sound weird, but I became the comforting parent to the child within, rather than the harsh critical parent.

It had a very powerful healing effect for me.

I wrote a letter as well! Even though it acts childish, I knew the last thing it would want was to be spoken to or treated like a child. I just treated it like a friend because I know that when it's not angry or in distress, it can be very funny and spontaneous - adventurous. At the same time, it is the part of me that warns me when I'm not being true to myself or my path. It has its own set of issues too, so I told it I respect what it's trying to tell me, but we need to work as a team.

Lately I've been dealing with this issue again and it has come back - not with a vengeance funny enough like the year or so before - but has been affecting certain areas of my life that since now I am more self-aware (I suppose I'm ready to integrate) has caused me to pay attention to it and not run away. It is childish, but I'd been neglecting it for so long - what can you expect? I'd hadn't been taking care of myself, not being true to myself, thinking this is what I'm supposed to do, this is what my responsibilities are now. If this makes any sense, I had to first become the adult and now I'm looking at the child in me. I'm trying to sit down and talk it out. You should read "Dark Side of the Light Chasers". That's helping me too.

[gravitysrainbow]

Oh wow, that's very similar to what I'm experiencing. I'll have to check that out.
So far, the feeling I've been getting is not to be afraid of the confrontation. It's just like confronting another person. Their emotions or words might be off putting or uncomfortable, but you have to listen to understand so that the solution reveals itself.

It wants respect and to be heard....your inner child. Look into it.