"Once you become the candy you can't taste it"

[LadyMay]

A member here wrote this to me once, and it's stuck in my mind ever since.

Everything in the universe is love.. but once you experience yourself as love, you can no longer feel it? Because separation is needed to experience 'not love', so that we know what 'love' actually is. But once the illusion of separation is gone then there is no way to feel it anymore, because you remembered you are it. You can't taste the candy once you remember you're it.

Anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so neutral half the time.. it makes me wonder how I'm even spiritually awake sometimes. I know love is the most important thing in the universe.. I know I am that love and yet.. when it comes to feeling it, especially in the context of romantic relationships, I feel nothing. To add some irony, I'm still as cynical about romantic love as I ever used to be.

So anyway, this results in me upsetting a lot of people (family members, soul connections, ect) who I do love, because I can't genuinely say things like "I love you", "I miss you", ect, because I don't actually feel it. It just 'is'. And if I feel it, I know it's just due to an illusion of separation I'm still holding, so I let it pass and don't pay it much attention, hence the always feeling neutral. I see feelings as illusions and so.. I can't blind myself with falsities. I don't know if this makes any sense.. does anyone get what I mean?

93,

You choose not to feel it, or are incapable of feeling it, which completely validates the frustration of your loved ones.

[wstein]

Originally Posted by ScarlettHayden

Everything in the universe is love.. but once you experience yourself as love, you can no longer feel it? Because separation is needed to experience 'not love', so that we know what 'love' actually is.

This is an argument I could never buy. If God really is everything, then according to the above logic, you can't experience anything at all. Does one need to experience not-time to know what time is? Does one need to experience not monkey to know what a monkey is? Does one need to experience not-carpet to know what carpet is? This whole thing vs. not-thing is duality trying to impose where it doesn't belong.

[Hibiscus]

I can somewhat relate, my heart chakra opened and I feel more love than I knew was possible but it's done nothing to help my personal relationships.. Along with love there's also universal suffering and I feel miserable half the time and unable to shield myself

So maybe we have opposite problems but honestly it sounds like you're intellectualizing things a little too much. It's good to find a neutral "center" and allow transient emotions to flow through you, but they should still be acknowledged. Sometimes the personal meaning assigned to an emotion might be "illusionary" but the feeling is still real. If that makes any sense..

Originally Posted by ScarlettHayden

A member here wrote this to me once, and it's stuck in my mind ever since.

Everything in the universe is love.. but once you experience yourself as love, you can no longer feel it? Because separation is needed to experience 'not love', so that we know what 'love' actually is. But once the illusion of separation is gone then there is no way to feel it anymore, because you remembered you are it. You can't taste the candy once you remember you're it.


Becoming empowered emotionally through the process of both not knowing and knowing is about trusting imo. In the knowing of you being the love itself, you then become a model of your being in the expression of that love. When you remember and are not attached to yourself in this way, it expresses itself through your giving of you. So it goes from feeling it(Self love) to sharing it (universal love,oneness) And universal love is the whole which encompasses everything.(open clear free flowing in various forms).

Anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so neutral half the time.. it makes me wonder how I'm even spiritually awake sometimes. I know love is the most important thing in the universe.. I know I am that love and yet.. when it comes to feeling it, especially in the context of romantic relationships, I feel nothing. To add some irony, I'm still as cynical about romantic love as I ever used to be.


Breaking free from *romantic* love you learn to be more in a space of being YOU...in a more holistic space of being yourself, your focus changes, it doesn't mean you lose anything but it may not always be your Priority of sharing that aspect. It balances out to be more universal in you with less need to always express it *one way*..
So anyway, this results in me upsetting a lot of people (family members, soul connections, ect) who I do love, because I can't genuinely say things like "I love you", "I miss you", ect, because I don't actually feel it. It just 'is'. And if I feel it, I know it's just due to an illusion of separation I'm still holding, so I let it pass and don't pay it much attention, hence the always feeling neutral. I see feelings as illusions and so.. I can't blind myself with falsities. I don't know if this makes any sense.. does anyone get what I mean?

It sounds to me like your integrating this new space more than anything. The need of this kind of love, doesn't need to be expressed in the way *society* might expect it to be, the breaking free from it in you, will see the nature of need in others and that may not be fully integrated into this new space. The neutral space, is kind of detached in me, now, clear feeling, clear and open to all, with awareness of my needs now, which is pretty basic and simple. But in saying this I am aware of others who are still caught up in the illusion of love.

Reaching the level of compassion in me with an emphasis on my empathy of others and all as one, I have more integrated the illusion in others, into a more whole space of love in me now. So I feel more a joy of being myself as I am, and I share that feeling of being myself in many ways regardless of breaking free from the old illusion of love to understand their space of love as they feel it is.....I don't see myself just breaking free from the illusion of the old *love* but more deepening into the nature of love in many forms, deepening my own awareness of all life as one both in human terms and spiritual (universal) love...(Remembering that we create words to match feelings, so love is just a feeling of connection that someone called love :).

So back to your saying...*once you taste the candy you no longer can taste it* You might interpret this as- once you taste the candy, you may no longer have a *need* to taste it again, you know the taste, your aware of it but your also aware of something greater and that now becomes your focus"

[LadyMay]

Originally Posted by Hadit

93,

You choose not to feel it, or are incapable of feeling it, which completely validates the frustration of your loved ones.

I don't choose not to feel it, I can feel perfectly fine. It's just.. I don't react or respond to my emotions in the same way anymore. I'm just neutral about everything.

Originally Posted by Hibiscus

I can somewhat relate, my heart chakra opened and I feel more love than I knew was possible but it's done nothing to help my personal relationships.. Along with love there's also universal suffering and I feel miserable half the time and unable to shield myself

So maybe we have opposite problems but honestly it sounds like you're intellectualizing things a little too much. It's good to find a neutral "center" and allow transient emotions to flow through you, but they should still be acknowledged. Sometimes the personal meaning assigned to an emotion might be "illusionary" but the feeling is still real. If that makes any sense..

I'm not intellectualizing anything. Although people openly believed that of me before. It's just.. I've become so in that neutral space.. it's who I am. There is nothing outside of that center, because that is everything. Emotions are just temporary fluctuations on the outskirts that pass by.. clinging to them is not healthy and letting go of them has become second nature. And it's the same with every emotion.. love, hurt, pain, compassion, ect. They've evened out so much (or rather, my reactions to them have become so neutral) that it feels like I don't experience emotions at all anymore, even though I do. Maybe it's like, I've become so identified with the observer instead of the experiencer that everything that happens to me isn't really happening to 'me' at all.

I remember watching that when the crown chakra opens it's hard because you have to give up the love you experienced in the opening of your heart chakra towards people, because the feeling of love is just an illusion as much as any feeling. So by giving up of any attachment you remember yourself as as the stillness that comes before all thoughts and emotions, ect. Love is the highest feeling, but stillness is the highest state of being.

I was reading (I think it was) the multidimensional man's website and I think he said something like on the light planes the love there is just a type of universal impersonal love. Everybody is tuned into it up there, and that's kinda how it's like for me. I have all this love and know myself as love, but it's completely impersonal. I have no one to direct it to.. I can only let it 'be' through my own presence and staying in that space. But the fact it is so impersonal.. maybe it is my societal conditioning having trouble accepting such a thing. Because it seems just.. alien? In a way. Talking to other people about it I've been called alien and cold and distant.. it's not really that. I just have nothing to 'express' anymore, because my very being is an expression.

[LadyMay]

Originally Posted by wstein

This is an argument I could never buy. If God really is everything, then according to the above logic, you can't experience anything at all. Does one need to experience not-time to know what time is? Does one need to experience not monkey to know what a monkey is? Does one need to experience not-carpet to know what carpet is? This whole thing vs. not-thing is duality trying to impose where it doesn't belong.

Being a carpet and observing a carpet give you two different experiences. And that way you know it more thoroughly. I don't get how you wouldn't be able to experience anything at all in this manner?

[LadyMay]

Originally Posted by silent whisper

It sounds to me like your integrating this new space more than anything. The need of this kind of love, doesn't need to be expressed in the way *society* might expect it to be, the breaking free from it in you, will see the nature of need in others and that may not be fully integrated into this new space. The neutral space, is kind of detached in me, now, clear feeling, clear and open to all, with awareness of my needs now, which is pretty basic and simple. But in saying this I am aware of others who are still caught up in the illusion of love.

Reaching the level of compassion in me with an emphasis on my empathy of others and all as one, I have more integrated the illusion in others, into a more whole space of love in me now. So I feel more a joy of being myself as I am, and I share that feeling of being myself in many ways regardless of breaking free from the old illusion of love to understand their space of love as they feel it is.....I don't see myself just breaking free from the illusion of the old *love* but more deepening into the nature of love in many forms, deepening my own awareness of all life as one both in human terms and spiritual (universal) love...(Remembering that we create words to match feelings, so love is just a feeling of connection that someone called love :).

So back to your saying...*once you taste the candy you no longer can taste it* You might interpret this as- once you taste the candy, you may no longer have a *need* to taste it again, you know the taste, your aware of it but your also aware of something greater and that now becomes your focus"

Yes it's like that, a constant clarity. Yet an absence of a need to experience love.. maybe because even that need has been fulfilled also.. or not fulfilled, maybe it's like, when you know yourself as love you know there is nothing to fulfil. Everything is already done.

It is a deepening of love if you think about it that way.. but the simple manner in which it is sustained now.. the lack of suffering and striving.. it makes it feel so basic and foundational and maybe shallow in that way, or perhaps it's so broad and extended that I'm finder it harder to express myself the way people expect it too. People close to me want to hear I love them.. yet as you said, love can be expressed as a deepening awareness of all life, in other ways than what society regards as normal, a universal balancing out.. yet society sees it dysfunctional.. I am finding it hard right now to co-exist with these two different views. What is harder, is that in the need to express myself as truthfully as possible, saying something like "I love you and miss you" feels wrong because it is such a narrow view of love full of attachments and the like, and yet if I don't say such things I hurt the person's feelings.. which is neither desirous nor productive. I am having trouble navigating these waters right now.

It is such a weird problem to be having. Most can look at this and say "she's detached* (in an unhealthy dissociated way), but truly I'm not. I am just looking for accounts of people who know what I'm experiencing and can offer some guiding hand. Which is what you've done, so thank you.

Once I taste the candy, I no longer have the need to taste it again.. I think you're right. Because at this point you've experienced yourself as love and not-love and now you are transcendent of both, fully aware of both states and how they interrelate together.

Originally Posted by ScarlettHayden

Yes it's like that, a constant clarity. Yet an absence of a need to experience love.. maybe because even that need has been fulfilled also.. or not fulfilled, maybe it's like, when you know yourself as love you know there is nothing to fulfil. Everything is already done.


Yes you feel complete as you..:)

It is a deepening of love if you think about it that way.. but the simple manner in which it is sustained now.. the lack of suffering and striving..

Yes that is part of this awakening, the ending of the old painbody allowing the natural arising of your true self.. it makes it feel so basic and foundational and maybe shallow in that way, or perhaps it's so broad and extended that I'm finder it harder to express myself the way people expect it too. People close to me want to hear I love them..
yet as you said, love can be expressed as a deepening awareness of all life, in other ways than what society regards as normal, a universal balancing out.. yet society sees it dysfunctional.. I am finding it hard right now to co-exist with these two different views.

That middle path where you are sitting right now will integrate as you become more accepting of others needs, learn to hold your own space of love as you are and allow it all to be...THey are offering you a view to deepen in your own acceptance of what you have in you.What is harder, is that in the need to express myself as truthfully as possible, saying something like "I love you and miss you" feels wrong because it is such a narrow view of love full of attachments and the like, and yet if I don't say such things I hurt the person's feelings.. which is neither desirous nor productive. I am having trouble navigating these waters right now.

Yes I understand this space. Being ok to be you, when others feel their feelings in the face of you being you, is part of acceptance in you too. It can be a difficult space to navigate in the early days of this as I found, but it does balance out as you deepen into this space you have found and become more grounded and accepting regardless of what is coming in at you..

It is such a weird problem to be having. Most can look at this and say "she's detached* (in an unhealthy dissociated way), but truly I'm not.

I know exactly what your saying. You feel connected and have no need, yet their needs will immerse into what you modelling and they will think you have the problem...it can be so confusing in the early stages of this. I am just looking for accounts of people who know what I'm experiencing and can offer some guiding hand. Which is what you've done, so thank you.

Once I taste the candy, I no longer have the need to taste it again.. I think you're right. Because at this point you've experienced yourself as love and not-love and now you are transcendent of both, fully aware of both states and how they interrelate together.

Yes transcending can feel detached and less feeling/ less caring/ less of what their perceptions of love *should be*, but in fact it gets very simple in the greater expanse of love in you. As strange as it is to speak of universal in terms of size and capacity, in being it, its quite simple and very empowering. Those who connect will feel it, those that don't will challenge you as having a problem, those who are curious will feel their way with interest...*It knows itself*...

[Hibiscus]

Originally Posted by ScarlettHayden}

I'm not intellectualizing anything. Although people openly believed that of me before. It's just.. I've become so in that neutral space.. it's who I am. There is nothing outside of that center, because that is everything. Emotions are just temporary fluctuations on the outskirts that pass by.. clinging to them is not healthy and letting go of them has become second nature. And it's the same with every emotion.. love, hurt, pain, compassion, ect. They've evened out so much (or rather, my reactions to them have become so neutral) that it feels like I don't experience emotions at all anymore, even though I do. Maybe it's like, I've become so identified with the observer instead of the experiencer that everything that happens to me isn't really happening to 'me' at all.

I remember watching that when the crown chakra opens it's hard because you have to give up the love you experienced in the opening of your heart chakra towards people, because the feeling of love is just an illusion as much as any feeling. So by giving up of any attachment you remember yourself as as the stillness that comes before all thoughts and emotions, ect. Love is the highest feeling, but stillness is the highest state of being.

I was reading (I think it was) the multidimensional man's website and I think he said something like on the light planes the love there is just a type of universal impersonal love. Everybody is tuned into it up there, and that's kinda how it's like for me. I have all this love and know myself as love, but it's completely impersonal. I have no one to direct it to.. I can only let it 'be' through my own presence and staying in that space. But the fact it is so impersonal.. maybe it is my societal conditioning having trouble accepting such a thing. Because it seems just.. alien? In a way. Talking to other people about it I've been called alien and cold and distant.. it's not really that. I just have nothing to 'express' anymore, because my very being is an expression.

I'm not accusing you of being cold or alien or distant, trust me I used to be on the same page. Although I don't think chakras necessarily open in a certain order, and I don't think stillness is superior to love...

Also I think the observer and observed are just different levels of the same truth/reality. It's like the saying "as above so below" except what's below takes on a subjective form... I'll have to come back to this and write more later since I don't have time right now but really do find it interesting