I could do with a cuddle

[sea-dove]

Im shaking right now.

Cause my healing wand is missing (weirdly the silk I keep it in was in the drawer but my wand wasnt.. I hadnt used it for many months. Its so weird it wasnt there as Im so careful with this as its like a sacred object to me), anyway I came across a Brandberg quartz which was reaching out to me with its energy so strongly, that I just had to buy it, it appears it will be an exceptional replacement for my wand. It wasnt at all cheap (over the cost of my rent and Im on a pension).

I can deal with that (it may mean I dont have the money to shop next week)...but what is causing me to be shaking is my elderly friend (boyfriend). I KNOW how he is feeling about what I just did. He cant feel crystals etc. Im like cringing inside as I know he's very mad and upset at me. I begged him not to get mad so he's keeping his cool externally (like spoke to me throu the phone with gritted teeth) but within, he's extremely upset at me.

Im trying hard not to cry but I have to have that crystal!

[sea-dove]

I'd like to say thank you if someone here just sent me some healing. (I just got some from somewhere and now suddenly are feeling much calmer).

[moonincancer]

Sending prayers. Do what feels right to you.

[FairyCrystal]

Hope your wand will turn up again!
As an adult you make your own choices and take responsibility for it I gather. If your partner doesn't have to suffer or cough up for you buying this crystal, it's entirely up to you. If he does have to cough up to help out cos you bought this crystal, you should've consulted him.
If he loves you and respects you, you should be able to communicate. So I'd say, talk to him. Sounds like you simply cut him off from speaking his mind, which may not be fair. If you get yourself in trouble because of this, he does have a point. Like you are entitled to do what you want, as long as it doesn't hurt others, he's entitled to be worried because he cares about you.
So I don't think healing is going to help, I think you should simply take responsibility for your actions and decisions and talk to the man!

Good luck!

[sapphyretwins]

Sending you some hugs!

[sea-dove]

thanks all, Im 100% sure, I know Ive done the right thing and have to have THAT crystal. There isnt any doubt in my mind I need it.

f your partner doesn't have to suffer or cough up for you buying this crystal, it's entirely up to you. If he does have to cough up to help out cos you bought this crystal, you should've consulted him.

It would just caused a lot of tears and heartache if I had talked to him as he's very dominating (and doesnt understand spiritual flows, spiritual callings or energy) and would of stopped me from buying it and that would of been a huge issue for me as I know I need it. My higher self knows I need it. (or actually in this situation as Im feeling so strongly that I need it and due to what has happened in the past when Ive ignored my spiritual feeling, I would of gone against what he said about it and that would of upset him even a lot more. He would of ended up quite aggressive he door slamming, very aggressive vibes and yelling (which would of completely destabilized me as I have some PTSD). He would of lost it emotionally if I'd talked to him about it and then gone against his wishes). He's an elderly aries (to my gental pisces) and he's got a temper that even he admits he cant control.

I know Im done that best I could of done under this circumstance. Ive been true to myself and to my higher spirit (doing the right thing isnt always easy).

He's stopped me from doing things I should of done or got me to do things I shouldnt have done against the will of my higher self before which has impacted me for years after and still does today. Ive even lost a child over doing what he pushed me to do one time against even know I knew it was the wrong thing to do, I still suffer today due to that. I knew what would happen if I did what he expected me to do but he can be so overpowering to me that I played out his desires. After loosing my daughter from doing what he wanted to keep him happy, I finally learnt I NEED to trust what I feel or otherwise my life gets harder and doesnt flow and I pay the price and suffer for it. Loosing my daughter was my own fault, as I listened to someone less aware then myself (Ive basicallly not just lost her but lost my two little grandchildren too who dont get to see me due to this).. Im far more connected spiritually then he is, so he's not a good guide for me to base my decisions on esp when it comes to spiritual and higher path stuff.

This wasnt about "I like that crystal" (it wasnt even attractive to me in looks at first) but that I NEED that crystal for my best well being. Have you ever had a crystal that it was in your best interests to have? (not one that you are just getting cause you like it).

So that is why he got cut off in this situation, there is no way he could of understood. You cant convince someone who doesnt believe in it and isnt ready to, that strong energetic pulls and spiritual drive exist. He couldnt understand that my divine self was telling me I needed this and that crystal wants to work with me. (He's actually not really a suitable partner for me but for now as we do love each other, we will be together till one of us leaves the relationship with love (which may be when one of us dies, he's elderly and my health is terrible... Ive had to be ambulanced to hospital twice in a month for drip).

If your partner doesn't have to suffer or cough up for you buying this crystal, it's entirely up to you. If he does have to cough up to help out cos you bought this crystal, you should've consulted him

We do not live together and I get my money separately (Im on a disability pension, Im basically housebound). With that being said thou due to my severe health issues and hence current financial trouble he does give me a lot of money at times (I never ask or even want it from him but he insists.. Im prepared to go without food for a week for it. If he cant handle that, that is his choice not mine.. he's put himself in serious debt with insisting to help me financially and physically and now is having to sell his second house. So this situation did really stress him out (cause he sees himself as responsible some for me. He did something to me some time ago which severely impacted badly upon my health so I think feels responsible for me).