Uh oh! Maybe I want to be the runner instead

TF might be back already, not sure yet, and now I am sort of wanting to run. This is too much emotional intensity and instability every day. I can't even sort myself out or figure out my primary relationship when he's around. What do I do? Maybe take some space without running per se, huh?

[airydoug]

Stop obsessing. Take a chill pill or forget about labels.

[airydoug]

Rofl. There's no room for tit for tat games between TF's.

Originally Posted by airydoug

Stop obsessing. Take a chill pill or forget about labels.

Too funny!

Originally Posted by airydoug

Rofl. There's no room for tit for tat games between TF's.

I agree! Leave well enough alone!

I mentioned in another thread of yours that I'm not too sure what the label of "TF" is adding in your situation. It seems to be causing a lot of undue stress, confusion, attachment, and agony in a situation which is already intense without deciding that this person is your One True Love for all time. More likely, it's probably a very intense relationship because he is stirring things in you, insecurities and issues and things in your soul for you to face. You can't change him, you can't make him do what you want or respond how you want.

Your best bet is to cut off communication. Don't hang on to him because you think he's a TF. Even if he were, it's not doing you any favors right now.

Take charge here. Take care of you. Don't be on the end of his whims and his confusion. And don't feel like you can't walk away because you are convinced this relationship is of some spiritual higher order. Whether it is or not, you need to be healthy in you first!

Breathe!
Are you reading into everything and coming up with conclusions? It's okay if you are, I sure have and it's got me into all sorts of a mess.
This emotional intensity and instability is an indicator for you to calm down so you can approach this with a clear head and not react out of ego. Again, I have done that and got into all sorts of a mess.
Ask yourself "What do I want? How can this benefit the both of us so that neither is hurt? Am I willing to accept friendship and cherish that?" From what I read in your other posts he is starting a new relationship and you are married so these questions may be something to ask. Soul connections don't have to have rules and be boxed in. It is quite fine to continue in your lives, your relationships and still share this deep connection. It sounds like you just need to know where you are in all of this. If it's not what you want or he is not able to offer what you want, what will you accept? Will you drop it all and move on or be happy to keep in touch as friends?
Sometimes our ego does have wants and expects things to go a certain way (Because it certainly looked and felt like it would have gone that way, right?)
Yet when the unexpected happens we are left to feel like a rug has been pulled beneath us and we're flat on our butt. Yet the ego still wants to fight, fight for this. All the while it pushes us and them further apart, creating a barrier between ourselves and love - giving and receiving it openly and unconditionally.

I've thought about a lot through this experience and last night It came to me to remind me that life in this physical body has a clock. How much do I want to waste in regret. I want to give love, compassion, hope, joy. I want my spirit filled up and spilling out with this. People can decide who they want to share with and be selective. We can't stop that. What we can do is ride our own chariot and be open to love and sharing it. That to me is not a waste or a regret.

Whew! Thanks guys! I AM obsessing something fierce! I will take a chill pill, possibly cut him out, and if he is playing games and doesn't write me tonight, I WILL NOT chase him. I also may cut it off completely, and I will try not to put labels on this, although it can be hard not to think of it this way as I write on this board. But, I will be strong. I can love him or whomever I choose but mostly I need to love and accept me, right? OK, hope I'm straight now!

What makes you think that he is playing games? Why do people always jump to games??? Have you considered that YOUR actions may be frightening him? Your ego??

Yes, stop obsessing! Be unconditional with him! Be PATIENT, blimey!!!

Just be yourself, even if it happens to be crazy obsessed women right now, but realize you are pretending a role in a story and are thoroughly enjoying your own drama. Don't you feel alive?