helplessness

[seeker2011]

I remember thinking that what i was doing was important. It had nothing to do with the helping of anybody or animals or anything. It just seemed that what I was doing was important. Now it doesn't. I dont remember what it feels like to want to wake up into the world of man. I dont remember what was so important that I might even have cut my sleep time short to get up. I dont remember what it was like to want to wake up. I remember not thinking of anything but the world. I now dont want to think of the world. I want to keep us in food and shelter, but I dont care about anything else, and I know that that is irrational...but dont know what to do about it.
Im formulating a thesis about the focal point of consciousness, and i'm writing here to get feedback and ideas of how to frame it. But at the same time, I have to admit, if I didn't have to, I wouldn't care about the world at all.

well a good place to start about consciousness and this will help you understand you lacking desire. there is a river feeding it. other then your true desires. this river is structured under certain pressures not in your ability to define. so it influence your mind under its own pressures, not yours. so your moods are actually a product of the world population rather then your self.

basically are consciousness by them self is a with out a mind, still exists. they are spirits. that drive through there personal desires to maintain there own emotional balance. through the product of your thought.

iv personally run across the spiritual elements of consciousness and have seen each level of consciousness when viewed as a spirit all maintain a different balance of emotions. some would rather feel love. some would rather feel pain. some would rather feel love through destruction.

but to truly understand the conscious mind one has to understand how it is unconscious. and this is the fact that all thought is driving from the spiritual center of the conscious wanting to infuse its self with hate. that there is other forces out there other then God/Goddess/ Creator. always trying to subdue this loving force.
The difference between a unconscious mind and a conscious mind is the unconscious mind is driven to subdue its self with out awareness. The consciousness uses ones mind to try and subdue others too. Basically cuts off what the heart sees and infuses the person with what the consciousness see’s, but the consciousness doing this isn’t of a divine source. It is what were trying to accend through. The understanding im trying to grab is where did these powerful sets of un divine consciousness come from. What created them?

[Silver]

What if there is no focal point of consciousness? You mean source, that sourt of thing?

[seeker2011]

What i mean by focal point is something like a frequency or maybe a "range" of emotion/thought that i seem to be concentrating on at any given moment.
Yes, there are influences upon my mind and emotions that do not originate in me. They are part of a vast ocean of "astral trash" all around us....interesting coincidence your moniker is "spirituallysurrounded" eH?
And I believe all that negativity is man made....as though the garbage doesn't have anywhere to go but all over.
What I recently am reminded of is that I also create this garbage, and the stronger my mind gets as a result of this increase in consciousness, the more difficult it gets to prevent my garbage from landing on other people. It's a real problem. I've seen people around me get hit hard, in their mind, by my unrestrained thinking. People at work talking to me all of a sudden stop, and I can see the struggle inside them, and it doesn't often end well without a conscious effort by me to negate what's happened. I am greatful there are spirit helpers around to smooth things over, very greatful.

whats cool about my moniker is that it comes from all the spirits that i talk with they wanted me to use this name.

Iv been comucating with them every day know since 09 and they have told me there here to teach me. the lessons are starting up know. but the past few years its been about dealing with the undivine and removing them from my personal space. i was very suprised to see how much is actualy from other element then the divine. there seem to be quite of few.

and these undivine also have a great influnce over the ablity of the mind to have thought. they showed me that all of are thought derives from them in some form.