What is going on with me?

[~Lioness~]

My pain of the flame is gone but I still cry, from frustration
The energy inside me is all over the place
I feel like I'm an empty vessel
There's so much space inside me
Is this healing?
I feel a bit of anxiety writing this as I don't want to come off as crazy
I feel like there's a sky inside me
I feel like I have no thoughts
Not even a blank canvas
Just... Emptied out
Not even emptied out
Just complete disconnect from previous ideas of who and what I am
It almost feels like my chakras have been refreshed.

Why though? Can you relate?

Holy trinity.

Ego to the background.

Relax and don't be alarmed.

Practice doing nothing and be in stillness.

Find balance,balance is key.

It is confusing at first,becoming an empty cup,
but gets easier to navigate moving forward.

Don't react to 1st impulses.

Do the complete opposite of what you eat and drink.

Go back and forth,to see the three deities.

IE:The father,son and holy spirit.

Father=Masculine-hot,Son=Feminine-cold,Holy spirit=Neutral-Bland.

So,hot,cold and bland(eg:water,bread)

Go back and forth and do the opposite.

Don't react to the first impulse or craving.

Do the opposite of what you ate as a child.

Substitution and appease on the other hand is key.

Ps.Btw,do you have 3 siblings?

[~Lioness~]

Originally Posted by harvant

Holy trinity.

I have 6 siblings but havent seen 3 of them since they were adopted by someone else.
Why?

4 horseman=4 siblings.

Listen to your favorite music as well and chill out.

Listen to different genres and let the emotions stir within you.

Helps with emotional clearing.

Note the songs you listened to as a child and or growing up,that uplifted your spirits.

Tunes that evoked emotions.

Pay attention to the words of those songs,they are for you only.

Moving forward,you'll have songs pop in(in mind) and or even tracks that misplay,pay attention to the words of those songs.

Lastly,pay attention to your dreams,the ones you remember upon waking.

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm 139

Disconnect from the system.

Keep your own council.

2 Timothy 3 KJV


Ps.Deuteronomy 18:9-12

The Chosen.

Promise land.

From here to eternity.

Deconstruction of the ego.

Blinkers off.

Lights on.

[XenaMari7]

Have you listened to The Way of Mastery audio books, they are free to listen to on YouTube. Maybe you can be still and listen to the audios and see if they help you find exercises to aid you through this moment you endure

[Aldous]

I remember back in 1978 being in shock after my twin told me she got engaged over the phone. It was comparable pain to when I got an absess in a molar years later, but the soul shock lasted for a shorter period of time than the absess pain did. She still seemed to want to sit next to me in class a week later and often gave me angry looks and I didn't understand why. I was so depressed during the month of May 1978 (after the semester was over), but the depression gradually went away during this time of separation. I still had a longing to be with her as if I was in love with her. I saw her playing racquetball on the racquetball courts with someone in June 1978. We passed each other once and she said "Hi" and I said her name. A week later, I called her and asked her if she wanted to play racquetball and she said yes, but later it rained and we didn't get together. A week after that I called her again and asked her if she wanted to play racquetball and she said "nope" and I asked why and she said she was going to her brother's wedding.

I noticed the pain and depression was worse when I was laying in bed without being asleep and it was gone when I fell asleep and wasn't as bad when I got out of bed. I remember dreaming of her and she was angry in my dream.

Sometime during the summer of 1978, I thought the charisma effect I felt was just between me and her. Before this I thought everyone felt it from her. At the beginning of the next semester (September 1978) I was sitting in the court yard at college and she sat down at a bench about 50-100 ft from me. We looked at each other now and then and I could feel this powerful telepathic feeling. It seemed to be a lot stronger maybe because I realized it was there and was a spiritual thing. I was afraid of going over to her because I was afraid of experiencing the pain again. A couple days later the same thing happened and I was afraid to go over to her. Later, I was so overwhelmed that I could hardly read books which was a problem when going to college. After that I decided next time I see her, I would go up to her even with the fear. I saw her again in November on the racketball courts and had the amazing telepathic experience I talked about here
https://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/s...33#post1611733
I rode my bike up to her and was about 15 ft from her and had the powerful telepathic experience I talked about in the link. She had a wide eyed look of fear and asked me how I was doing and I asked her if she saw anyone playing soccer and someone she was playing with said there were some people playing earlier. When I rode away from her she called out to me and told me she didn't go to this school anymore. I felt so emotionally beat up, too, because of the intense feelings. Later, I found out she quit school earlier and got a job as an illustrator (she was studying art).

That was the last time I saw her or heard from her until 2016 when she left a message on my answeing machine and we talked by email for a while. Over time the connection weakens with separation. After 8 years (1978-1986) I could accept the separation. I still thought of her all the time. I'd have thoughts of her in between thoughts of something else. This lasted for decades and I couldn't stop it. I decided to try to be at peace with it and just think of it as if I imagined an imaginary friend which I talked to all the time. Sometimes I would dream about her and feel an intense feeling of connection with her which would last for a while even after I woke up. I also felt that I could feel her presence out there somewhere. More recently, I hardly think about her almost as if it went away almost.

see also https://od.lk/s/OV8xMTEzNTg5NDNf/spiritualtwin.pdf

[~Lioness~]

Aldous, that's a beautiful yet touchingly painful story. I feel your pain over the situation at times. Thank you so much for sharing that.

Since 2016, have you been in touch?
If you see my recent post on here about Sophia, I've come to a greatly big truth about my spiritual self and what I'm here in life for.

My thing is I have to stop thinking about the rest of my life and turn my focus into the now, and decide from there what to do. I know in the 3D we failed, and there's what bothers me about the resr of life. I'll face it without her. Even though I can feel the 5D/astral connection, day to day life gets hard sometimes. I feel more protected than ever, I feel I'm more empowered when I turn my attention to the present. So I think I'll do that more.