venting

dishevlment · #1 10-03-2017, 04:12 AM

hi everyone, I havent been here in a while.
Just needed to vent because i feel like i cant talk to anyone about this in real life. Whats hard about feeling really connected to someone like this is that you explain the relationship like any other to friends and they see it as someone you like but they cant feel or recognize that deep feeling. because honestly if someone told me my exact story with my "twin flame" i would be like DUDE FORGET HIM!!!! maybe im just crazy, super lonely and have been projecting for the past 2 and a half years but there is something here.

had a really really bad reunion with him in the summer, back in june and we havent spoken since. i made an okcupid tonight and i was about to get off or delete the app when i swiped and it was his profile.

I went into a frenzy and checked his social media for the first time in 8 months. I was shaking and had bile rising in my throat the whole time.

I just feel so sick. I feel like i deserve so much better than him and i dont even have him at all and ive been hanging on to these romantic ideals about true love. like i ran a lot and I kind of see what a mess he is and i think my subconscious was like RUN bc he is still toxic.

i learned a lot but mainly i feel like i have to get better.

Katastrophic · #2 10-03-2017, 06:28 AM

I'm sorry you are going through this. The good news is, I think this person isn't a Twin Flame, so maybe your True TF is still out there, and will make you feel like you are actually appreciated and loved :). This person, whoever he is to you, seems to have moved on from whatever the two of you had, it would be wise on your part to do the same thing. If someone truly cares about you, they will make it known to you over and over. There's plenty of people out there, go explore :).

eliana israel · #3 10-03-2017, 09:43 AM

I feel you. Ask yourself what can I learn about myself from this toxic situation? What can cause me to grow and evolve? Remember, everything has a balance. If things are unbalanced, is it coming from within you, or is he simply emotionally unavailable? If you can absolutely say, I learned absolutely nothing, try to at least not be consumed in thought, as it will drain you. Energy never dies, it transfers. Just think of someone else absorbing all your energy (If you're learning absolutely nothing) But you can absolutely acknowledge his presence in your heart without being consumed. Denial will torture you if you have true feelings.