How do I prepare God for my death?

God knows all. The deepest crevices of your Heart, and Mind, God knows all. I know God in my own personal way, and I know that God wants us to have concrete faith. Yes you love him, and he knows that you do, but he gave you this life for a reason, live it full, and free, and know that one day you will return to the Light. We all come from the Light, and we all shall return, even those who are surrounded by darkness, and evil intentions. God never forsakes you, and never leaves you, he is always here, whether you see it or not, even people who do not believe in God, he does not leave them, because one day they will open up, and receive his Love.

Falinx The immediate feeling I get when I read your post is that this was a soul challenge set by you, that when on earth it would be hard to cope with. I feel that this is a soul growth option, and that you had already lived on other planets and is finding it extremely hard in this earth environment with harsh energies etc.
I feel like there is a person in your life who you haven't met yet - and this is part of the yearning for you to leave. This is a soul group connection, one which will turn your world around. I'd hang on and see this connection first of all before you make any decisions.
With love x