Important ingredients for good, statisfying and long-lasting partnership

[sunsoul]

Honesty and trust..................

common goals/desires.

My marriage was pretty good while we were raising the kids and doing the best for them was the common goal.

Once they were grown, turns out our "plans" for post kid life was very different, he went his way and sent me on mine.

[GalTrav]

Originally Posted by FollowBack

What do you think? What is needed the most to have a strong, loving, satisfying partnership?

Understanding and acceptance.

[fennel]

Oh, I LOVE this thread!

Love is important, of course...but it really helps if the parties involved have the same sort of goals in other areas. It's easy for couples to ignore the little red flags in the passionate early stages of love- but those things can become deal breakers later on.

Financial differences in particular can be pretty damaging to a relationship. A person who values financial security should not hook up with a person who racks up a lot of debt.

[HalfGirl]

Respect, true friendship and love.

[Spectral1212]

I have been married for 20 years to a true soul mate. I believe the most important aspects are honesty, trust and being best friends. There is nothing I couldn't tell my spouse. Having really good (and similar) senses of humor is also priceless in a marriage/partnership. Having love goes without saying of course. It's also important to be together for love and not out of any form of need. You would be surprised how many people are in a relationship because they are simply afraid of being alone. We are highly conditioned to think that being single is the worst possible fate for a human being, you can see it while you're watching TV and you see commercials for dating websites. It really bothers me the way society preaches this because a relationship based in some kind of need usually won't last if people continue to grow and evolve like they should. Like I have heard many people I know say things like "I enjoy being married" or "I feel better when I'm in a relationship". To me this is a very dangerous mindset. It should never make you feel complete as you are already complete. That's just imho.

Originally Posted by Hope33

Being married 23 years and having learned so much and been through it all, the ingredients to make this recipe work are love, trust, respect and communication. I truly believe that last one there is just as important as love.

In fact, I don't see how you can have "love" without it at many levels.

It takes a long time to realise love in a relationship. It won't happen in a year unless someone's very lucky - simply because as days pass people broaden; change. It takes a long time before people can communicate openly, before they can appreciate what each brings to the other's life and know what each prefers to keep to themselves; to know the compromises one can make without draining the emotions of the other.

In olden times it probably developed during courtship if at all.

There's always the danger that pre-marriage or any other allegedly permanent engagement, people tend not to take each other for granted. They behave. Then upon permanence, that's dropped. There's a fine line between knowing you can rely on someone and taking them for granted.

In practice, away from the airy-fairy stuff, It's about support, appreciation, honesty, compromise, willingness to surrender.

Trust is dependent on honesty - and honesty can be difficult.

[sunsoul]

Love and patience........

[DaiBach]

A sense of humour.

[Bridie]

Here are some effective ways to be happy in a relationship[/url] :

1. Put the other person's needs first, above your own.
2. Be kind and considerate always.
3. Work hard. If you are a woman, clean and cook even if you work outside. If you are a man do things around the house and clean the mess afterward.
4. Look at your partner in the eyes and listen to what he/she is telling you and participate in solving whatever problem.
5. Agree!!! In other words discuss things before you put them in action.
6. Make the other person feel secure. If you are ready to leave for nothing, your relationship will not last. Think you are together forever.

If the other person is not kind and considerate to you, disappointments can ruin your relationship and replace love with hatred.