Self Reading Challenge

[Shinsoo]

Originally Posted by Pisces_Moon

Crikey Shinsoo
That was a quick response. Did you feel as if this was something lurking that you just didn't want to see?
It may be worth pulling some cards to see how you can move through this or make it work for you instead of against you. You seem to be pretty capable of doing so, it's just a case of trusting yourself.

A lot of the shadow readings were things I already knew fairly well, it's just the matter of caring enough to get off my keester and do the dang work.

Yes, trusting myself is key--on the soul level as well.

I admit my trust in myself hasn't been the strongest--and that is due, as most people who have seen my posts, to a diet that has been very hard to adapt to--some small part of me still has trouble believing any soul would want to live completely off a raw organic diet.

But eating it and accepting it without complaint, nor joy, just using it as a tool to further my spiritual progress is a necessity. That's the goal in this lifetime--view pretty much everything as a tool. Avoid attaching myself to anything.

I can see why on a soul level I want to do this--my ability to get addicted to things is scary. it's just a matter of keeping that inner fire alive, that faith that I can, kicking.

I wish there was a way to have my persnickety nature to work for me rather than against me, but I'm having no luck. My Virgo ascending has brought me nothing but grief lol.

I asked the Shadowscapes to tell me how I could improve on that nonetheless, and I received the King of Cups. Looked at several sites as I was drawing a blank, and the theme of 'balance' keeps coming back to me. Balance my emotional and mental selves? I suppose that this persnickety nature might be helpful later on in discerning information if my emotional self learns how to stop being so negative? Self-control as well, perhaps.

[Shinsoo]

Originally Posted by Pleroo

I'd love some input. I pulled The World, 7 of swords, The Sun.

My "reading" of these was more an emotional response to the images and how they connected, than it was working with the actual traditional meanings, particularly for The World. I can post later what my take away was, but I'd be very interested in any input from anyone else.

To me, The World signifies that you feel it's your responsibility to place it's problems before your own--or a tendency to think of the World revolving around you. Given the Seven of Swords in the reading however, I think it might be the latter, as it signifies attempts to escape responsibility, daydreaming, indulgence, etc. To me that doesn't mean that you are selfish per-se, but rather self-absorbed. That card often pops up in my readings too.

[Pleroo]

Thanks Shinsoo. Definitely something to think about.

[Shinsoo]

You're welcome~ :)

What was your interpretation?

[tealily]

Originally Posted by tealily

Oh boy! Almost two weeks later, things have finally calmed down enough for me to be able to give this topic my full attention.

* Wisdom of the Oracle
* Fountain Tarot

There actually seems to be a strong trend here - basically that being less of a lone wolf is in my best interests, and it's all about perspective (my baseline position may come from a place of fear/feeling that I'm not good enough).

1) How could you open your mind and your heart more to the possibility that there is more?
A Leg Up rev - looks like I need help. Legit. To reach out to others more and to involve others more.
The Moon rev - at this time, the good news is that all the scary stuff is in the open. All the players are on the chessboard. This is a good time to evaluate what's within and what's around me, and start seeking assistance for the battles I can't get through alone.

2) Is there a part of you that is closed to things you cannot see, touch or feel? (Why?)
Treasure Island rev - this card pictures a turtle swimming around, unaware of the treasure already on its back/what it has already achieved. This was supported by the 'Here and Now' card which tells me I have epic tunnel vision right now, and only see what I don't have as opposed to what I DO have. This is also suggestive that the present time is pretty intense, and likely involves a lot of learning/straining my brain (3 of Coins).

3) Are you ready to entertain the thought that new experiences and perspectives could be beneficial to you? (How?)
All that Glitters and Strength rev from oracle and tarot respectively suggest that I'm kind of looking career-wise right now, but I'm underselling myself internally and may not be taking as many chances as I should.

The solution to this is to think bigger (Imagine rev) and move quickly and with determination (Knight of Swords). The cards seem to think I'm capable of much more than I realise.

Argh in retrospect a lot of this could have been referring to my lease situation (all dem coins!)

- I needed help (legal advice et al)
- Scary stuff was indeed in the open, and I had the choice of trying to live with it or dealing with it
- What I had was way better than what I was leaving it for
- The end solution was indeed to move quickly and to a somewhat dramatic but ultimately better outcome for me, and a big decision I wouldn't have considered acceptable without firm support from outside parties

[tealily]

Originally Posted by Pisces_Moon

Shadow self and self sabotage

* Fountain Tarot

This time I MAY through in some Wisdom of the Oracle cards, but I just feel like Fountain Tarot is going to easily blow this out of the water all by itself (I'm looking at it now and I feel like it's saying "uh, yeah, this is kind of my jam"), so I'll stick to that first and see how I go.

Our questions are:
1)Which beliefs do you hold about yourself that sabotage you?
A: 4 of Wands. (https://www.pinterest.com/pin/289708188504935167/) An interesting card - this one depicts a group of people celebrating. It very much reminds me of the dancers I used to hang out with - a little crazy, totally throwing themselves into things. It's a pretty "extreme" vibe of joy/happiness. Not 100% what this means in the context of the question, to be honest.

Need to know: 10 of Coins rev. AH I think I see the link here. This one is all about de-stabilisation and spending lots of money. I'm getting the impression from both cards here that there may be a feeling that money needs to be spent on spending "fun" time with others. I may value "group" time more than I need to. I may feel I "need" to hang out with certain groups of people when in fact, I don't.

Advice: (pre-draw, I'm anticipating something that speaks about individuality) 4 of Cups rev. Ehhh sort of, haha. This card says "pick up and leave!" Don't sweat what you know isn't a fit for you. Just move on.

**If this is the worst kind of belief I have, I feel pretty lucky...!!

2) When/how were these beliefs formed? OR what helped shape these beliefs?
Sit: Devil rev. This card speaks of liberation. Did I somehow feel free?

Need to know: 8 of Cups. Hmm, another leaving card... :/ Er, not quite sure what's going on here

Advice: Ace of Coins rev. Not moving forward, not ready to grow, perhaps not quite ready to be on its own yet. Perhaps I felt like I was physically moving forward and independent, but at the same time not ready to be fully independent and so tend to hang around others for that reason... but in reality, I've already done a lot of the unchaining, I just haven't fully bloomed as an individual yet :) (I look forward to this though)

** Again, if this is the worst kind of sabotaging belief, I feel very lucky

3)What would your life look like if you didn’t live through this shadow part of yourself OR you were able to integrate this part of yourself into your life as a positive thing?

Situation: 5 of Coins rev. Oh, so this kind of says I'd feel more sheltered than I currently do. Perhaps being in 'uncomfortable' situations makes me feel kind of raw/excessively stimulated.

NTK: 3 of Cups. Hmm! This is a celebratory card! This kind of says I'd still be having all kinds of fun though - may be that I'd have more fun with fewer people rather than less fun with more people.

Advice: The Moon rev + 4 of swords rev. These two say "Yup, and this is how it really is, warts and all" + "aaaaand let's get up and move away now".

Rightio! Well, all those messages seemed to be very consistent. I'll worry less about being invited (or not invited) to events now then Ditto for leaving certain social events early and hanging around (or not hanging around) people as I choose.

[Anne]

Unfortunately, I consider myself the Queen of Self-Sabotage.
The questions this month help somewhat., shedding light & alleviating pain.
I use for this exercise the Tarot of Delphi, my new deck that is proving to be one tough sister, lol.

Re the first question: the beliefs I hold about myself.. I drew the Lovers, Eight of Coins, Two of Swords (rev).

Yep! These are my big saboteurs. The Lovers refers to debilitating TF concept :-(
The 8 coins reminds me I need to buck up and generate my own income. Scary.
The Two of Swords, well, like last month, I guess it's me...pondering and indecision.

Thank you Pisces Moon! Any input appreciated:-))

Whew, eventually got around to getting this done.

Using Darkana Tarot
Which beliefs do you hold about yourself that sabotage you?
Ace of Pentacles rev.
That I'm useless with money, it's always something that is in short supply and I'm always needing more than I have. I never save what I've got, but then again I never have any to save.

2) What helped shape these beliefs?
Queen of Wands.
Being a party girl in my younger days, I felt life is too short to worry about saving and would spend my money on fun and entertaining myself and others. I felt it was impotent to be generous with 'friends' and that I deserved to have treats to.

3)What would your life look like if you didn’t live through this shadow part of yourself OR you were able to integrate this part of yourself into your life as a positive thing
6 of Cups
I'd feel more protected and secure in my life now and would have the chance to look back at things in a more realistic light that I really should have planned better.

Ouch, harsh truths.