I Dont Understand Why I Feel Like This ...?

Originally Posted by Greenslade

Perhaps that's just what you need Eternally, for God to tell you in straight-talking terms. But there again, maybe he's waiting to see what you're going to make of it all.

So a shift in perspective might help? Okay then, try it this way. Imagine for a time that it was me that made the original post. You're reading my story of my experiences. What would you tell me? By the way, saying that you wouldn't do that anyway or you wouldn't know what to say doesn't count. If you cop out then wave goodbye to your prize :-)

Slight communications slip there, my apologies. What I should have said was an encounter with two Spirits, but you can still compare and contrast the two of them within hat you sensed/felt from each of them - if anything. To answer your question, what did you sense/feel from the two Spirits if anything? You could think about how each felt, then you could compare and contrast what you got from each one.

Again, you need to look behind the mask. You were told things that you knew were untrue. Did the Spirit tell you an out-and-out lie or were there reasons for saying what they did? I might tell you I'm a guru (waaaay far from it) to see if you'll blindly accept what I say to you or if you'll question it. I might also get something from your questions. If I was a Spirit that came to you I might get quite a lot from telling you something that was untrue. If you decide I'm bad because I didn't tell you the truth then that tells me something, as would your blind acceptance or your questioning. Also bear in mind what else you've said. "I did not feel any negativity from Spirits energy and Spirit was kind toward me and all" Can you see the contradiction here too? If the Spirit didn't feel negative, would they lie to deceive you? Or if they didn't feel negative but still lied, is there another reason?

Being honest, I doubt knowledge will help you here but then there are some that will disagree. I think that the only knowledge you're going to get is that Spirit is supposed to do this or that, but from what I can tell personally it doesn't work that way. Is there knowledge of what a friend should or shouldn't do, or is it down to you and that friend to work that out between you? How many times do you say this to that friend but you wouldn't dream of saying it to another? I have guides that like to climb trees, one clutches a teddy bear called Patches and two others like rock music. Is there knowledge there that would have helped? I got to know them, they got to know me and we came to an understanding that works. The things you said were untrue might well be a part of that same process - then getting to know you. If you look around these boards on many different subjects, I don't think you will find too much knowledge. What you will find is beliefs that have been formed in many different ways, none of them better or or worse than any other. I don't belief the word 'ignorant' has a place in the realms of Spirituality, especially when there are so many more beliefs than facts.

Caution and questioning is good, but paranoia will just drive you crazy.

I do understand what you are saying and I want to thank you for opening up my mind in a bit of a new way. I never really considered these things until you told me about them. :-)
You are right, maybe some things are done to see what I will make of them .. but I dont see why God or any other being that "loves" me would want to test me? Maybe I am viewing things the wrong way but I am getting the impression that you are saying that some beings might only tell us things just to simply see what we will make of them. To me, that is testing me.
Especially knowing that I am a human being ...
I do not feel like I am a person who takes "tests" that well ... I find it frustrating and annoying .
If this were your original post, then I would probably tell you to try to move on from the experience since its so confusing ..
I do not really know how the other Spirit who was doing the attacking felt, because I only witnessed/saw the Spirit who loved me being attacked. I saw the Spirit who I loved getting hurt by another spirit ... but I only saw it meaning that the only one who would really know the nature of the attacking spirit was the other Spirit.
Hope Im not confusing you lol
I am not sure if you are familiar with any verses from the Bible, but Spirit told me to get my Bible and when I did, he pointed out a few verses from Paul ... Paul was basically telling his friends that he tried many times to see them but evil kept trying to stop him ... I think I know what to make of this, but never sure, as always .
I have accused Spirit of being a phony and a fake and I have also expressed to Spirit how I felt. I think Spirit understood but he always had an answer for me whether through words or feelings. One time I accused Spirit of lying about who he said he was and I hurt Spirits feelings. I did not mean to do that but at the time, I was fed up with the whole thing. Then I just left..
Spirit did always respect me, meaning that when I did not want to be bothered with him, he would leave me alone.. but cant evil pretend to be kind too, when indeed it is not? This is what I mean.

I do believe that I might have my own accounts of what I think Spirits are suppose to do and not do .. and maybe I should not do that but either way, I would be confused.
I think what I really need to do is just forget about the whole thing, which is obviously hard for me ... I mean ... I do try, though ...

Youre right. Paranoia will drive a person crazy!! Im a living example LOL .

Well ... just writing on this thread to say that I am DONE with it.
After all is said and done, I think it is right for me to run .
I believe everything that happened to me was a trick and I believe that I was deceived. I do not know why I was deceived and I do not think I will ever know why ... but when I really think hard about it, is there a REAL reason for deceit ? People deceive other people because they think it is amusing or they just like to cunning and deceitful ... so same with spirits, I guess. This is a ****ed up world we live in ... and I refuse to be vulnerable with the spiritual realm again.

Hi Eternally

I am sorry you feel that way, and perhaps I could use it as an example of what I was trying to tell you. It's not always about a test, but with what you've said I can perhaps understand why Spirit didn't follow it through too far. You say you believe it's deceit, if that's the case and I was in Spirit's shoes, I'd wonder if anything else I could tell you would be taken the same way. In which case, would there be any real point in taking the experience any further? For what it's worth, looking at it from my perspective I think you had a good Spirit, but then it's your experience and your beliefs. Perhaps you've already closed the door to knowing why, what would you say if Spirit came back to try and explain? Would you still see it as deceit? Or perhaps you already have your answers, because you have decided to believe it's deceit.

Originally Posted by Greenslade

Hi Eternally

I am sorry you feel that way, and perhaps I could use it as an example of what I was trying to tell you. It's not always about a test, but with what you've said I can perhaps understand why Spirit didn't follow it through too far. You say you believe it's deceit, if that's the case and I was in Spirit's shoes, I'd wonder if anything else I could tell you would be taken the same way. In which case, would there be any real point in taking the experience any further? For what it's worth, looking at it from my perspective I think you had a good Spirit, but then it's your experience and your beliefs. Perhaps you've already closed the door to knowing why, what would you say if Spirit came back to try and explain? Would you still see it as deceit? Or perhaps you already have your answers, because you have decided to believe it's deceit.

In my opinion, Spirit shouldnt have came to me in the first place. It was clear that I was not ready for anything like that, but since it did come and its over now, I have my opinion about the whole thing and it did teach me something. It taught me not to ever open myself up again that far when dealing with the spiritual realm. I will never be so vulnerable again with the spiritual realm, no matter how curious I am.
You know, I thank you so much Greenslade because I know that throughout our conversations, you only tried to help me and offer your opinions and I do really appreciate it. I really do.
However, taking in everything that we talked about and then thinking back on my experience and then thinking about how life works, in my eyes anyway, everything that happened to me just seems like a trick of the mind mixed with perception that was not correct on my part. Some things, I still can not explain but I mean, oh well. I think I am finally accepting what happened to me and finally accepting my whole outlook on it too. We live and we learn. It was my fault in letting the stupid experience happen in the first place ... but now that I know better, I will know to do better in the future.
You are right. There is no point in taking the experience any further, which is why I just left it alone. I recently left it alone after I came to the conclusion that I did. If Spirit chose to come back to me, I would tell it to leave me alone first and foremost. Now, if it came back to me and I allowed it to for any reason, I know that I probably would not believe anything it said or I would think it was all deceit.
Yes, I do have all my answers in one simple word. Deceit.
There really is not anymore for me to figure out beyond that because to me that is the answer and it does not need any explanation.

Hi Eternally

Being honest I have absolutely no idea what Spirit had in mind when this happened, all any of us is offer opinions and perspectives.

I remember reading the story of a well-respected medium who was working with a group of people by giving messages. All of a sudden he could smell sulphur and ended up being scared totally out of his wits. By what was being said it sounded like a Spirit was dragging him into the very depths of Hell itself. Just after that he turned his back on it completely and never had anything to do with mediumship. The Spirit realms are not always as sunshine and roses as some would like to believe it is. As humans we can only possibly see a very small slice of what's 'out there'. That scenario came to me when I read your words on not leaving yourself vulnerable. Being honest, I can take what you've said one of two ways. Perhaps the experience was there make sure you didn't leave yourself vulnerable, that you didn't leave yourself wide open to anything bad that may come your way. However, do I also detect some deep bitterness? If that is so, then that's what I mean when I was suggesting Spirit might be trying to find out what you're 'made of'. It seems to me that the experience wasn't all bad, but then it wasn't my experience but yours. It seems that all you are taking from this is deceit, but I personally don't think deceit was the purpose here. Personally I think there's a lot more to it than that. You have made your choices, Eternally, and at the end of the day that's all any of us can do.

And you are very welcome. It can be confusing when these things happen, very often scary as well. It can help to talk to other people and get a different angle on it, sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn't. With that, I'm going to be a little sneaky here and use your own words against you. If you decide to put it completely out of your mind, that's your choice. However, if you go back to it in the future remember your own words. Remember you told me that you don't write your beliefs in stone and apply it here. While you look at it from your own perspective, remember that there is another one and try to use it.

Safe Journey, Eternally.

Originally Posted by Greenslade

Hi Eternally

Being honest I have absolutely no idea what Spirit had in mind when this happened, all any of us is offer opinions and perspectives.

I remember reading the story of a well-respected medium who was working with a group of people by giving messages. All of a sudden he could smell sulphur and ended up being scared totally out of his wits. By what was being said it sounded like a Spirit was dragging him into the very depths of Hell itself. Just after that he turned his back on it completely and never had anything to do with mediumship. The Spirit realms are not always as sunshine and roses as some would like to believe it is. As humans we can only possibly see a very small slice of what's 'out there'. That scenario came to me when I read your words on not leaving yourself vulnerable. Being honest, I can take what you've said one of two ways. Perhaps the experience was there make sure you didn't leave yourself vulnerable, that you didn't leave yourself wide open to anything bad that may come your way. However, do I also detect some deep bitterness? If that is so, then that's what I mean when I was suggesting Spirit might be trying to find out what you're 'made of'. It seems to me that the experience wasn't all bad, but then it wasn't my experience but yours. It seems that all you are taking from this is deceit, but I personally don't think deceit was the purpose here. Personally I think there's a lot more to it than that. You have made your choices, Eternally, and at the end of the day that's all any of us can do.

And you are very welcome. It can be confusing when these things happen, very often scary as well. It can help to talk to other people and get a different angle on it, sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn't. With that, I'm going to be a little sneaky here and use your own words against you. If you decide to put it completely out of your mind, that's your choice. However, if you go back to it in the future remember your own words. Remember you told me that you don't write your beliefs in stone and apply it here. While you look at it from your own perspective, remember that there is another one and try to use it.

Safe Journey, Eternally.

Not to be rude or anything but I dont really care what Spirit had in mind when he came to me. All I know is that Im not interested and after my spiritual experience Im really not interested in dabbling in any kind of spirituality in any kind of form.
I just want to shut myself off completely from all of that mess because thats what I feel it was -- mess. I dont have the strength or the energy to be wondering about why this happened or why that happened or if something is good or bad. And now, I really find it a waste of time because of the conclusion that I sincerely reached.
If the spiritual realm is going to cause me to be confused and have a hard time, then I dont want any part of it, period.
And yes, you did detect some bitterness because I was bitter about the whole thing. Now, I am kind of more calmed down about it because it is what it is. Life is all a sham in my opinion and all it will ever do is try to put you through hell and throw tests at you to see what you will do about it.
Im choosing not be so gullible and vulnerable.
I did not know that life could be so confusingly cruel until now. So, in my opinion, I did learn something from my experience. It might not be "good" to some people but its good to me because it will keep me from being an easy target.
I dont care what the spiritual realm has to offer because I feel like I have already seen a little bit of what it has to offer and it is not something that I want to be apart of .
Of course when I die, I wont have a choice ... but while Im alive, I do.
For Spirit or any other spirit to come to me and tell me the things that Spirit did, just to 'see what Im made of' is very stupid to me.
Why even bother to tell me certain things just because 'you want to see what I am made of' ? Go find another fool, thats how I feel about that .
Spirit said it came to me because " I needed love " when I asked it why it came . That was a sweet reply but I think it is stupid because I feel like Spirit had other motives for coming to me ... and at first Spirit got me almost 1OO percent .. that is of course, before I figured out what I really thought was going on .
I believe deceit, tricks of the mind and other things contributed to this experience of mine .
I believe it happened to throw me off and it worked, I wont deny .. but it wont work anymore because once you know better you should do better.

You are exactly right, thats why I came on this board and asked questions about my experience because I wanted to see what other people thought to see if maybe it would give me a different angle or perception about the whole thing . As a conclusion obviously, it did not .
I usually never set my beliefs in stone. I really dont .. but in this in particular situation, I think I am doing that. And I highly doubt that I will be looking back on this in the future but its not impossible, nothing really is, I guess ..
I tried to look at my experience from another perspective many times but I always found myself going back to this conclusion that I am writing down.

Thank you, safe journeys to you too.

I think all I can say on this is that it will cause tremendous issues if you get into overthinking these experiences. I had things in my past that caused me to think the way you are right now, and yes, I turned my back on all things spiritual for a number of years. I still am not fully trusting, but I have come to believe that maybe I placed too many expectations on spirit and on what was happening to me. I would also suggest that this sense of 'being made a fool of' might be a general issue in your life, and not just to do with spiritual experience. Why are you so scared of being 'made a fool of' ? Does it change who you are?

Sure, I went through all those emotions in the past, when I had spirit telling me various things, and of course, I built up expectations and things did not happen as I wished them to. I had probably,of course, been choosing not to listen to the things I didn't want to hear at the time, lol.

And if they deceived me? So what. I don't care. It has not changed who I am. In the grand scheme of things, to me, being deceived is rather irrelevant. If anything, it shows issues in the one deceiving, not the one being deceived. Of course, you get spirit with the same negative traits as you find in humans. That is why you learn to discern, but there is no need to tar all with the same brush, anymore than you should tar all humans with the same brush if one happens to not be so honest.

Originally Posted by Graelwyn

I think all I can say on this is that it will cause tremendous issues if you get into overthinking these experiences. I had things in my past that caused me to think the way you are right now, and yes, I turned my back on all things spiritual for a number of years. I still am not fully trusting, but I have come to believe that maybe I placed too many expectations on spirit and on what was happening to me. I would also suggest that this sense of 'being made a fool of' might be a general issue in your life, and not just to do with spiritual experience. Why are you so scared of being 'made a fool of' ? Does it change who you are?

Sure, I went through all those emotions in the past, when I had spirit telling me various things, and of course, I built up expectations and things did not happen as I wished them to. I had probably,of course, been choosing not to listen to the things I didn't want to hear at the time, lol.

And if they deceived me? So what. I don't care. It has not changed who I am. In the grand scheme of things, to me, being deceived is rather irrelevant. If anything, it shows issues in the one deceiving, not the one being deceived. Of course, you get spirit with the same negative traits as you find in humans. That is why you learn to discern, but there is no need to tar all with the same brush, anymore than you should tar all humans with the same brush if one happens to not be so honest.

You are right, I have done nothing but overthink everything that happened to me in my spiritual experience. I keep trying to just accept it for what it was and leave it alone and I tell myself that I will not think about it anymore but then I always end up doing the opposite.
No, being made a fool of does not change who I am .. and that is not my biggest issue even though I would be lying if I said it did not matter to me. My main concern is I want to know why my experience happened and who was in charge of making it happen. Then I want to know who the spirit was and why it really came to me other than the reason it gave.
Well as for me, I listened to everything that Spirit told me and it just confused me. There is nothing about my experience that I am trying not to see or whatever. I accept everything that was said, I just want to know other stuff about my experience.
I care if I was deceived or not because this Spirit told me that it was someone that I loved very much and if it was telling the truth, then that is very important to me because this person is not alive anymore
I believe this Spirit was being deceitful but it would help if I knew the truth not just my own opinions and thoughts.
No, deceit does not change me as a person and I get that part but I am concerned about it because of what I just stated above.
I do not THINK I am good at discernment ... which is why I often find myself looking to others to help me alot.
Sometimes I think that maybe I am good at discernment but I am just not aware of it yet.

Originally Posted by EternallyHurt

Sometimes I think that maybe I am good at discernment but I am just not aware of it yet.

That's the whole top and bottom of any of this. It's all about discernment and what you perceive to be the Truth or not.

I sometimes think that the answers we need come to us, when we let go and stop trying to work out what they are. I still sometimes battle terribly with my human mind trying to analyse everything and find solutions, but maybe the solution is to let go and accept that not everything will give us an immediate answer?