"Once you become the candy you can't taste it"

[Swami Chihuahuananda]

Originally Posted by Yaoughta

It's like skittles. You can always taste the rainbow.

Yeah, it's like Skittles , or 31 Flavors of ice cream . See the ice cream, be the ice cream, then be a different flavor ; one for every day of the month I like it when things get simple .

[Hibiscus]

Originally Posted by ScarlettHayden

What's weird, is that I went from dissociation and repression, to being filled up with divine love, to an integrated non-attached state. Apart from when my heart was opening (no they don't always open up in a certain order but the crown is higher vibrationally), I don't feel any different to the way I was before. Only that I feel clean and empty psychologically.

I guess part of me thinks.. I don't know.. it's too simple? Lol. Yes it's very empowering.. and it feels so natural. But I think.. connecting to people is much harder. How is that? You're connected to everyone in the universe and you know that by experience and yet the way you see people and relate to them completely changes.. it's no longer about needs.. it's just about being. And as simple as that actually is, it's like trying to put a cylinder through a square shaped template, lol. It doesn't work when you try to make a connection. Because there is no connection really to make. It's already there. It's just one of those paradoxes that takes time to get used I think. Being aware of yourself as divine love and yet being detached and indifferent.. mmm.

I apologize if this is way more information than you need lol but I just want to share where I'm coming from personally. For me this whole "awakening" and opening of the heart chakra happened during a (kind of terrible) relationship that acted as a catalyst and isolated me from everyone in my life at the time. I wanted to walk away from it with pride and anger, but forgiveness was the only real way out, it was like the universe was literally forcing us to confront the ugliness we brought out in each other by learning to feel love and compassion regardless. It was the most emotionally intense and exhausting experience of my life. But this also accelerated a lot of "psychic" abilities in both of us so I suspect the crown chakra was involved too.

Now on the other side of it nothing is the same. I used to be repressed (or detached) too but now I can feel the emotions of others even if it's a complete stranger that I'm standing next to, yet ultimately I'm alone in my personal life. So I get how weird the paradox can be. I wouldn't wish the hell I went through in that relationship on anyone, but at the end of the day I feel I actually have a greater capacity to love not just in a universal sense but in romantic and personal relationships too, even if it'll still take time for the dust to settle.

So I'm not judging you in any way, I'm just not understanding what you mean about how feeling universal love and recognizing yourself as a part of it makes you incapable of experiencing it on a subjective level as well.. Maybe you are just detached now and not repressed, but I'm also not understanding how they'd be any different if you see all emotions as illusions that you can't identify with. Yes these are all just words and definitions but that's kind of my point. Don't worry about "fitting in" with society, the right people who you feel like you don't have to pretend with will come into your life, but only if you're open to it imo

[LadyMay]

Originally Posted by Hibiscus

I apologize if this is way more information than you need lol but I just want to share where I'm coming from personally. For me this whole "awakening" and opening of the heart chakra happened during a (kind of terrible) relationship that acted as a catalyst and isolated me from everyone in my life at the time. I wanted to walk away from it with pride and anger, but forgiveness was the only real way out, it was like the universe was literally forcing us to confront the ugliness we brought out in each other by learning to feel love and compassion regardless. It was the most emotionally intense and exhausting experience of my life. But this also accelerated a lot of "psychic" abilities in both of us so I suspect the crown chakra was involved too.

Now on the other side of it nothing is the same. I used to be repressed (or detached) too but now I can feel the emotions of others even if it's a complete stranger that I'm standing next to, yet ultimately I'm alone in my personal life. So I get how weird the paradox can be. I wouldn't wish the hell I went through in that relationship on anyone, but at the end of the day I feel I actually have a greater capacity to love not just in a universal sense but in romantic and personal relationships too, even if it'll still take time for the dust to settle.

So I'm not judging you in any way, I'm just not understanding what you mean about how feeling universal love and recognizing yourself as a part of it makes you incapable of experiencing it on a subjective level as well.. Maybe you are just detached now and not repressed, but I'm also not understanding how they'd be any different if you see all emotions as illusions that you can't identify with. Yes these are all just words and definitions but that's kind of my point. Don't worry about "fitting in" with society, the right people who you feel like you don't have to pretend with will come into your life, but only if you're open to it imo

Was it a twin relationship? I went through one of those. I understand where you're coming from. Everything changes. And it's what happened to me. But I went through another experience too, one which can't really be explained. But it was a direct consequence of meeting my twin. Suffice to say that the heart is only one type of awakening. When the heart opens you feel everything very empathetically and deeply. You are tuned into love. And, I do experience that. But I experience it in a different way.

Some will understand and others won't. I don't know how to put this.. it's like, feeling love is still something that happens to you. It's an experience. You are still the experiencing in this case. I'll refer to how Miss Hepburn put it.. it still implies a lover and a beloved. When really the lover and beloved are one. When the 'merging' (or more accurately, the realisation) takes place you see there's no longer any distinction between the two. Or should I say the three. You are simultaneously the lover, the beloved, and the love that is experienced. The love is what connects the two. What makes them one in the first place. When you are the love you are experiencing there's nothing really to feel, because they sort of cancel each other out..

Let me see if I can put it another way. I love my mother. I love her very much. Yet I don't feel it. Because love is not a feeling to me that is transmitted, it's a state of being that is expressed. I am love, and she is love, and our interaction is a creative manifestation of that love. The manifestation is love. Everything is love. I don't 'feel' love and I don't need to express it because my very being is already an expression of that love. I am the feeling itself. Does that make sense? So it makes for a weird paradox. I am experiencing things subjectively just like everyone else, but I'm also the entire universe in a human body, and every emotion, pleasant or unpleasant, is perhaps not an illusion so much as it is what I already am. There is nothing to feel, when you are the feeling itself.

But staying in that space requires a state of non-attachment. You can't see yourself as love and an expression of that if you're still clinging onto the feeling, because that way you're still maintaining the illusion of separation. But once you let go.. then you know what you are. I am the connection between people itself. And when I am already that, how can I maintain the illusion of trying to experience something I fundamentally already am?

A heart awakening shows you love. But it doesn't cut all attachments and often the illusion of duality is still maintained. Just take a look at religions.

[LadyMay]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

Goody, another opportunity to post an appropriate 'essay'
on what this 'separation' is all about!

The Lover and the Beloved

God is Love. And Love must love. And to love there must be a Beloved.
But since God is Existence infinite and eternal there is no one for Him to
love but Himself as the Beloved whom He as the Lover imagines He loves.

Beloved and Lover implies separation. And separation creates longing;
and longing creates search. And the wider and the more intense the search
the greater the separation and the more terrible the longing.

When longing most intense, separation is complete and the purpose
of separation which was that Love might experience Itself as Lover and Beloved
is fulfilled; and union follows.
And when union is attained, the Lover knows that he himself was all along the Beloved
whom he loved and desired union with; and that all the impossible situations that
he overcame were obstacles which he himself had placed in the path to himself.

To attain union is so impossibly difficult because it is impossible to become
what you already are!
Union is nothing other than knowledge of oneself as the Only One.

~Meher Baba

I loved this! Thanks for sharing!

[LadyMay]

Originally Posted by 7luminaries

Scarlett, you sound perfectly normal to me I can relate to a lot of what you say. You don't resonate with much of the drama you see around you. And there is always the ebb and flow in any new space within yourself...though my experience is your normal affect returns over time, as you become accustomed to where you find yourself.

Once we become attuned to authentic love in all relationships (family, friends, partners, community, etc), much of what others call love may not resonate so much with you. By authentic love, I mean love which actively wills and seeks the good of the other, and for no other reason but their good, pure and simple. This is expressed according to what is appropriate in a given setting and relationship but kindness and compassion are key aspects. It is also called unconditional love and it's not some unattainable abstract ideal...it's where many are at and where many more are coming to be.

It is, I'll grant you, exceedingly hard to reconcile many modern, primarily utilitarian casual and/or sexual relationships with authentic love. A utilitarian ethic or perspective (primarily focused on mutually gratifying physical and/or ego needs) is essentially at odds with the human being as an integral whole. Because the human being can never be a means to an end but rather is always an end unto him or herself.

I agree it's not easy to endure the drama of family & others who are not on the same page and who also cannot really see your perspective...though compassion generally usually comes to the fore. I try my best to kerb my tongue as well and I am usually sucessful but not always hahaha!

Peace & blessings
7L

That's so right. My tolerance for drama has drastically reduced lol. And even when I just happen to find myself in the middle of it for whatever reason (because it's pretty much impossible to escape from living on this earth) I just stay non-attached, letting it ebb and flow around me. When you say that normal affect returns over time.. are you referring to feeling things? Do you ever really feel things the way you used to? Or do you just get used to the constant and increasing non-attachment? It just feels inhuman in a way, and it was really made aware to me after talking to someone who hadn't even gone through a heart awakening told me I don't feel things humanly. Being human naturally assumes and implies duality, right? So when you lose that.. you lose what I guess most take for granted makes you human. Even though I accept my humanity more deeply and fully than I ever did.

I agree a lot of what Silent Whisper said in relation to 'authentic love'. It actively seeks the good of the other but it may not always be pleasant or wanted by the other parties. Because when you just be yourself and act in accordance to your true nature in every moment you may still make mistakes and hurt people unintentionally, because it's all a part of your own natural evolution, and yet.. you can still see how that is for everyone's good, in the long term. You know what I mean? So things like guilt and shame aren't really even felt either. And whilst I have compassion, I understand that things are the way they are and pain has a place in the world, so I'm non-attached from all that too. It's all ultimately an expression of the creative force which is who we are innately. Pleasant and unpleasant are explorations of that.

It is difficult to reconcile in a world where most are out for ego gratification. I can't connect with anyone genuinely because most are unconsciously focused on using me as a substitute for their own lacking. And when they realise they can't use me they move on elsewhere. It's pretty much 100% guaranteed that coming across someone else with the same level of understanding in the real world will probably not happen. Who knows. But I've kinda come to terms with the fact that my path in this life is one that's meant to be taken alone. I have to maintain my own expression of love. I am simultaneously the lover, the beloved, and the love.

Hahaha. Actually my problem is that I don't speak enough what I truly think. It's why my throat chakra is smaller than the others. But that's gradually changing :) I just allow myself to stay centered in my space throughout all the drama and things always work themselves out.

[amitc]

I'm happy I stumbled on your post Scarlett. This is kind of how I've been feeling lately and trying to understand it is confusing. I'm on this kind of plateau at the moment where I know I have a lot of love for everything but I don't feel it the same way as before. Like the longing is gone because I know it already exists. Things don't bother me like they used to and I just kinda let things flow as they do. It's totally new territory for me as I'm used to chaos and anxiety and not sure how to process this new sense of calm... hmmm...

[LadyMay]

Originally Posted by Dar

Yeah, it's like Skittles , or 31 Flavors of ice cream . See the ice cream, be the ice cream, then be a different flavor ; one for every day of the month I like it when things get simple .

I want icecream now

[LadyMay]

Originally Posted by amitc

I'm happy I stumbled on your post Scarlett. This is kind of how I've been feeling lately and trying to understand it is confusing. I'm on this kind of plateau at the moment where I know I have a lot of love for everything but I don't feel it the same way as before. Like the longing is gone because I know it already exists. Things don't bother me like they used to and I just kinda let things flow as they do. It's totally new territory for me as I'm used to chaos and anxiety and not sure how to process this new sense of calm... hmmm...

Yeah, the longing is gone, that's exactly how it is. There's no striving for anything. No need for attachments or desires.

I think maybe a new space is opening up for you. Your crown could be opening. Just go with it.

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by silent whisper

..........

Nice post
BTW I found it has a very ticklish feel about it, for me, when reading through it if that makes any sense.

I think that neutral ground has many flavours...at least as many as less neutral ground, LOL. By and large, I don't generally feel the need to agree at my own expense, nor at someone else's. Though agreement where authentic produces a nice resonance, the inauthentic is unappealing.

I find loving in the agape sense doable as long as it doesn't require my agreement on (anything).
Acceptance of what is still leaves space for one's own lines in the sand.
And I was sharing with Scarlett that it is ok to say (whatever) is not ok for her.
That's part of loving and respecting oneself, IMO, and that's all good too.

---------
With regard to authentic love seeking the good of the other, I'd say it's not my definition of their good that ultimately matters, IMO.
That is up to each soul, to each of us, to decide for ourselves. This is what I would say on the matter...

When I offer authentic love, that love is just my general love and support of another on their path, as they define their good. As they go forward, what they define as their good is between themselves, their higher selves, guides, and Spirit/God. The degree to which they choose truthfully and wisely in support of their own journey depends on their level of awareness. But my authentic love, which seeks and supports their good, really has nothing to do with their choices, nor with being pleasant/unpleasant or wanted/unwanted, in the sense that these are labels that carry judgment and approval/disapproval that someone else may (?) impose. Authentic love is just goodwill and lovingkindness, affirmation and support. I would still agree that in some cases, seeking their good may at times go against their understanding of their good...e.g., acting to save a life when the crack addict just wants more drink or drugs. These are just general sentiments, and there are similar exceptions.

If it is disregarded or gratefully accepted, in either case that is ultimately no reflection on me, nor on the rightness or wrongness of offering authentic love. IMO it is not really a matter of whether it is ever wrong or bad (by our human standards) to offer authentic love in the most general ("agape") sense of goodwill and kindness (or compassion), to another, to mother earth, or to the world at large. One simply offers it by way of living and going through life, and it will help and support where it will. If it is water on the rock at a particular time or place, then it will fall to the earth, and provide nourishment there.

I do see your point that everyone will have an opinion on its "validity"...i.e. the crack addict is only happy with crack and won't value the love and support now or maybe ever. And that may very well be a time and place to offer authentic love from a distance. That's valid and often the most mutually loving way to be -- as we are all equally important and no one needs or deserves to be abused or fobbed off. But I have largely got past the personal evaluations, if that makes sense. Most of them just roll off the old back

Peace & blessings
7L

[Swami Chihuahuananda]

Originally Posted by ScarlettHayden

I want icecream now

You are ice cream, Sweetness