Am i really this broken?

[UnderTheIvy]

It's very tricky being a sensitive soul in this world of ours. I really do feel for you. I agree with the poster who suggested writing in a journal. Putting your thoughts down on paper is very therapeutic and a good way of channelling your negative energy and releasing it onto paper. Sometimes when you then read it back it's easier to rationalise your feelings and work out how to move forward.

You could also do with a "go to place". Mine is nature. When things are getting too much or if my depression is bad I head off into the woods or by the river and this is my therapy if you like, my sense of "going home". I enjoy photography and that moment when I'm focusing in on the perfect landscape or a butterfly drinking from a flower is pure bliss. Nothing exists for that small piece of time other than whatever I'm pointing the camera at. And of course, I then have my photo's to go back to if I want to revisit those moments. So I guess what I'm saying is if it's possible find an escape in nature somewhere and be with the birds and flowers for a while. Feel the wind on your face or put your hands in the water and let it sooth you. It really will help.

Keeping going, and lots of your way!

Thank you all so much for your replies.

I haven't been journaling for weeks, I think I should get back into writing. You all have great suggestions, and you're all so nice so thank you. I'm keeping this thread for future reference when I need an idea to get me out of my emotions.

[Native spirit]

Hi Athena.

We all go through times when we say I don't want to be here anymore, and mean it life is not easy ,its full of its trials and tribulations.but another day dawns and on we go again.i know this feeling only to well.
as do a lot of others.
depression is an awful illness but it can be cured, go to your doctor if you feel it getting to much.counselling is a good tool in helping depression.

Namaste

[Justme1981]

Originally Posted by Athena_Heart

I've been crying so hard, so much, and it doesn't seem like its ever going to stop. I just can't stop crying because I keep obsessing over the people who hurt me and continue to. I want to go Home so badly, so badly, I don't even want to be on this hell hole of a world. I just don't understand why I hurt so much. I'm very sensitive, but why?

Hi, Athena, I'm also going through a painful period. I'm seeing a traditional therapist starting tomorrow. I've had therapy before but I stopped about three years ago when I had gotten my footing again. I highly recommend traditional therapy. Although I will caution, you do have to read reviews of therapist and you have to find a therapist who sort of, very roughly fits your belief system i.e. I could never see a therapist that was not in some way religious themselves even if I did not agree with their religion, especially for my struggles which largely involve making sense of it all.

I find the most painful part of my painful experiences is making sense of it all. I tend to assume things generally happen for a reason and that reason even if is a painful reason. Something that helps me cope is feeling as if my pain is worth it so long as I can somehow learn to help others, relate to others, guide others in similar circumstances. I have learned it is helpful to me to cope if I feel like I can use my painful experiences to somehow help someone going through it or something similar. I have also found humor helps, not taking myself seriously or conveying it to myself in a way that I can laugh about or others can laugh about it. As my sister told me recently, "Justme, if you didn't have a sense of humor you would be toast."

I wish I could reach out to you more, but I know there are people who love you and need you and I know there are many people who don't know you who can learn from your experiences.

[Lucyan28]

I hope you get better soon, there is always a shinny rainbow with beautiful colors at the end of the storm.

My best wishes to you and receive a big hug .

PS: Remember that you are loved by all the creation.

I know exactly how u feel Athena_heart, exactly :(