Follow My Heart or Follow the Evidence?

[Hemera]

All the twin flame stuff aside, the reality is that no matter how one person feels, the other person can feel completely differently. You may believe she is the one, but she may not feel that about you any longer. That's what makes love, love. It's freedom of choice. You can't force her to feel the way you do. No matter how 'right' it feels to you, she has her own choices to make. It's clearly not meant to be if she doesn't want it to be. That's the sad reality and the only truth when it comes down to it.

[Baile]

Originally Posted by Hemera

That's what makes love, love.

Or as the J. Geils Band once sang, that's what makes love stink!

Originally Posted by Surf Rider

I'm at a tough spot in my life. It seems that everything I was ever taught about life was a lie. All of it. Career, love, marriage, happiness....it was all a lie. I'm not sure what to believe now.

Take my Twin Flame. Meeting her was the most powerful experience I've ever had. We broke up three years ago, and my heart maintains the very strong feeling that she and I will be together again someday. Nothing feels more certain than she and I being reunited. Our future reunion feels like the greatest, most profound Truth of my life. It is the deepest desire of my heart to be reunited with her. I know in my heart of hearts that she and I will be together again in a beautiful love relationship.

Unfortunately, the facts and evidence in front of me don't support this feeling of my heart. She's been pretty clear that she is not interested in a relationship with me right now. She lives in a different state and there are some barriers to us getting together again.

So which is the truth? Is it truth of my heart, which is the very strong feeling I have that she and I will be together again someday? Or is it the truth of the evidence in front of me, which is that she is either unable or willing (or both) to get back together with me in a beautiful love relationship?

How do I find the truth? Do I follow the truth that is in my heart, or do I follow the truth in the apparent evidence in front of me?

And if my heart is wrong and I should follow the evidence, how do I make sense of the fact that my heart was so horribly wrong about something that felt more true and certain than anything else I've experienced?

One of those early things I learned through spirituality was the balance between emotion and intellect. Only the uninitiated believe it's impossible.

Only you can find your truth. No one here can do that for you.

Know though some basic truths:
1) you can never control another's emotions.
2) outside of formal slavery you can never own another person.
3) other people are not responsible for your emotions or feelings. They may
cause them but they're still your responsibility. If they're causing you problems they're your problem.
4) You can move on if you have the will and courage.
5) Obsession isn't just a spiritual disease, it's dangerous.

Your current route is going to lead you into trouble - anguish and obsession at the very least - unless you call a halt and accept "no" for an answer... or at the very least be patient enough to see how things pan out.

If you sincerely believe her to be your twin flame then succumb to the "divine plan", surrender your free will and wait.

♥

[Delay_Reaction]

Originally Posted by mystical

i rejected mine for years , kept pushing him away he didnt give up tho . for 22 years lol . i finally had t work it out for mself . at the time i was caught up in a false twin and realised was caught up in illusions .my life didnt get better it got worse the more i ran . i was convinced i was not ready . . in the end i couldnt deny it no longer . now were married and lifes just getting better and better . give her space and time dont overhwlem her just keep being there for .loving and supporting her .

This!!

Perfect example of how things can turn out with some persistence, faith. Yet many here keep insisting to give up.

You just never know.

I say go for it.

Unless you care about what some strangers on a forum labeling it as stalking, obsessive and clinically unhealthy.

This is spiritual forums. Not traditional 3D forums.

What do you have to lose?

[Hemera]

Originally Posted by Delay_Reaction

This!!

Perfect example of how things can turn out with some persistence, faith. Yet many here keep insisting to give up.

You just never know.

I say go for it.

Unless you care about what some strangers on a forum labeling it as stalking, obsessive and clinically unhealthy.

This is spiritual forums. Not traditional 3D forums.

What do you have to lose?

Big difference between giving up and getting on with life. The latter means letting go and whatever will be will be; in short, not forcing a situation that can't be forced. Getting on with life is the healthier, responsble and mature choice. Clinging, hoping, wondering, writing endless letters etc, sounds romantic but many many people including yours truly have been on the other end of this kind of situation and believe me it's not all roses when you don't feel the same and just want to be left in peace. Not saying that is how the woman in question here feels, but it could be.

[ssdm1]

Originally Posted by Surf Rider

I'm at a tough spot in my life. It seems that everything I was ever taught about life was a lie. All of it. Career, love, marriage, happiness....it was all a lie. I'm not sure what to believe now.

Take my Twin Flame. Meeting her was the most powerful experience I've ever had. We broke up three years ago, and my heart maintains the very strong feeling that she and I will be together again someday. Nothing feels more certain than she and I being reunited. Our future reunion feels like the greatest, most profound Truth of my life. It is the deepest desire of my heart to be reunited with her. I know in my heart of hearts that she and I will be together again in a beautiful love relationship.

Unfortunately, the facts and evidence in front of me don't support this feeling of my heart. She's been pretty clear that she is not interested in a relationship with me right now. She lives in a different state and there are some barriers to us getting together again.

So which is the truth? Is it truth of my heart, which is the very strong feeling I have that she and I will be together again someday? Or is it the truth of the evidence in front of me, which is that she is either unable or willing (or both) to get back together with me in a beautiful love relationship?

How do I find the truth? Do I follow the truth that is in my heart, or do I follow the truth in the apparent evidence in front of me?

And if my heart is wrong and I should follow the evidence, how do I make sense of the fact that my heart was so horribly wrong about something that felt more true and certain than anything else I've experienced?

You tend to know when it's a spiritual connection so trust your intuition.

If she has said she is not ready she probably has things she needs to do and learn on her own before she's ready to be back with you. You probably have things to do and learn also. It took 20+ years for my tf and I to come back together, but we did when the time was right. And life was good for both of us on our own but is even better together now.

It is very hard to trust things will work out as they will when your feelings for the other person are strong. Good luck to you.

[heartsound]

Originally Posted by Baile

Truth:
-We broke up three years ago
-It is the deepest desire of my heart to be reunited with her.
-She's been pretty clear that she is not interested in a relationship with me right now.
-she's already rejected me recently

Wishful thinking;
-my heart maintains the very strong feeling that she and I will be together again someday
-Nothing feels more certain than she and I being reunited

Daydreaming bordering on illusion
-Our future reunion feels like the greatest, most profound Truth of my life.
-I know in my heart of hearts that she and I will be together again in a beautiful love relationship.

Get on with your life. If it's meant to be, it will happen. Maybe she doesn't like the needy aspect of your relationship, and is giving you space to get clear on that. Because you are exhibiting all the traits of a very needy partner -- you broke up three years ago -- and nobody likes a needy partner. They're suffocating.

Very well broken down... couldn't have said this better myself....

[jro5139]

I guess I would basically come to the same advice as the responses from the people that don't believe in tf, but the route is different. I agree that for now getting on with life is the best thing to do. But I would say also that if she is responsive to your friendship, and you can handle that, there is nothing wrong with extending her your love that way. Just don't do it with any expectations in mind.
I believe in being honest with the other person about your feelings and it sounds like you have already done that, you don't give enough details for a reader to know what her reaction will be to say/ write more. But you know the status of your interactions with her and how she will react and where her mindset is right now. You can gauge if it is necessary or appropriate to say more. My feeling is that maybe you have said enough for her to understand how you feel and now is the time to give her space.

While I believe at this time it is right for op and me, in my situation, to continue on with life and work on ourselves and not wait around. I also feel that looking at it from the perspective of if that's the case, then my feelings and gut must have been wrong, is also dangerous. Part of the whole process is for us to learn to trust ourselves and our guts. This has been a very big lesson for me. And I would like to point out that what I have learned is that if my intuition led me to a situation, then I am absolutely supposed to be there. Where the human error comes in is when we assume this means we know the outcome and put expectations on things because of our feelings. I'm learning I need to better separate the two.

What I have an issue with when it comes to the people who have never had a tf experience or don't believe in soul connections answering, is that while 3d advice is often useful, and yes in this case I would come to the same conclusion, it often times, when dealing with a SC, doesn't apply or doesn't apply the same way. So while I agree that for now let go, I don't think that means your gut feeling is wrong. But for now, we all have to do what is best for our own mental health.

What I don't get is why it is always assumed by people that don't believe in tf that the "chaser" doesn't have any self love. I didn't see anything in the post about the OP not loving himself. I saw some confusion and questioning society but I don't know from the post whether the OP has self love issues or not. But to some, he must to think he has a tf.
I know that personally self love has never been a problem for me, neither has spiritually. Been on a life long search, long before I met *person I shall call tf* and will continue to be if he stays in my life or not. I will continue to have exceptional self love as well, which really started taking off when I was in my 20s for specific reasons (but that's another topic).
So I will not assume if the OP has self love issues unless the OP decides to share that. Nor would I assume because he is in love with someone that it means his life is miserable or that he can't be happy without her. That's an aweful lot to assume from one little post.

I would be interested to know more about what op means by everything being a lie and that whole statement, if the OP wants to elaborate on it.

Originally Posted by jro5139

What I don't get is why it is always assumed by people that don't believe in tf that the "chaser" doesn't have any self love.

Why do you say that?

Being chased around by someone you're not interested in can be a darned nuisance (and as a female I worry after a case like Shana Grice). However, if someone does have self-love would they want to impose themselves onto someone who isn't interested? It can certainly do one's "ego" no good. It can seem pretty creepy and controlling. Surely a "chaser" possessing self love would let things be and wait. Be patient. When someone really isn't interested what really is the next step? Stalking?

When I see this "don't believe in tf" or "do believe in tf" I ask if, in the articulation of their commentary, are they developing each other's spirituality and evolving? Are they happy/content with their growth and evolution with their unity soul?

I don't see much evidence of that in the O/P quite frankly.

♥

Originally Posted by Surf Rider

How do I find the truth? Do I follow the truth that is in my heart, or do I follow the truth in the apparent evidence in front of me?

And if my heart is wrong and I should follow the evidence, how do I make sense of the fact that my heart was so horribly wrong about something that felt more true and certain than anything else I've experienced?

Prior to waking up i learned something very interesting about females and myself. When in the midst of a breakup or heartache from missing a significant. The best medicine was always self improvement. I would hit the gym, hike, run or start a new hobby. Doing this knowing that most females around me would pick up on how i felt about me. I looked better and projected a higher level of confidence. This always had the effect i wanted on the EX in question. The best part is sometimes i would get to a place where i realized the person motivating me wasn't what i wanted anymore. The bad would be when i didn't pay attention to myself and just focused on the outside i would end up diving right back in once she walked back into my life.

After waking up I'm doing a similar thing but for different reasons. Only for me and my self improvement. Its currently having the same effect on others around me but in different ways. It brings out the best in those around me. I still get the occasional female who acts like a hormonal teenager. But the best part about working on me for the right reasons is i can tell within a few moments of speaking to those types that anything beyond friends is questionable. I'm more in tune with my internal GPS i can tell right away most of the time what situations or people are right for me. My internal truth detector dial is turned the whole way up now.

I feel like i need a disclaimer. After waking up i started reading a lot of literature. Learned to control my mind opposed to letting it control me. Changed my eating habits (vegi/raw/vegan) started meditating and carrying crystals. (all helped me find what i already had)