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Seeking Closure and Insight - Please Read
Hi, my name is Sydney and I posted earlier in the welcome forum to introduce myself.
I am seeking some insight and closure into something that happened in my past that is now resurfacing. I am not being as graphic with it in this forum because I do not want everything out in the public, but I would really appreciate a private message or email if anyone can help by hearing the whole story.
I have not processed everything, but so far this is what I can ascertain:
I have always had some sort of negative energy/being that follows me. Sometimes it is at a great distance, sometimes it is in the very room I am in. I cannot explain what it is, so that is where I seek insight. Not only would I experience unexplained smells of death filling my house, strange and disturbing noises in the night, but I would also be physically violated as a young teenager between the ages of 13 to 15 by this spirit. I would lie in bed, and suddenly I felt I was being pulled into the mattress. I would not be able to move, or speak. My eyelids closed without me directing them to, but I still saw through them - I saw my room and myself exactly as I was before I went into this state (I would not call it sleep, nor would I call this a dream). A shadow, not a casted shadow, but a shadow of a man that was very much three dimensional with no facial features I could see, completely black and crouched down would appear at my door and watch me.
I would suddenly come back into consciousness and be able to move but then I would drift back into the exact same state, no matter how much I tried to overcome it. When I would do this the first time, the black figure always appeared over my bed, and watch in very much the same way as it had when it was at my door. I could still not discern any facial features. I then went through the same feeling of coming back to consciousness and then I would drift back into a state of immobility.
When I came back to the state for the second time, the figure was always now on top of me, but it had changed. This time, I only would see the figure's reflection in the mirror across from my bed. It was bald and pale, very tall and you could see red veins all throughout its body. It was holding me down. I was never able to see its eyes, or its face. I was being violated, to put it in decent terms.
I pushed the memories of these reoccurring incidents to the back of my mind, until last night when my house began to feel ominous again. It is a lot to explain, too much for one post, but this figure is the incident I feel I really must come to understand. I have accepted it, I am not afraid anymore, but I seek closure.
Please, if you can find the time and kindness in yourself to respond with some insight, or even if you want to send me a private message, I would appreciate such contact.
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