You don't need anybody, All you need is now

[keokutah]

The title is part of a duran duran song, but it's also a huge realization I had recently that has been so completely freeing. I experienced so much loneliness, heart break, hurt and pain all of my life, all because I put too much importance on other people to make me happy.

It's like I spent my entire life alone, always having to help myself, even when I was struggling with alcoholism and mental illness, people still left me alone and I still had to fend for myself, and I constantly felt like humanity owed me. I found that objects, money, and even goals would never bring me happiness, but for some reason I kept holding onto this idea that I needed love and good relationships with my family and people in general to be happy.

I had such a toxic relationship with my parents that hurt me deeply every single day, and my expectations of them and this idea I carried around that they should love me, was like an anchor dragging me down. I kept thinking the only thing I could do was be hurt by them forever or just leave them completely, I never realized I could actually just let it go. And meanwhile everyone I knew was dying so I was in mourning constantly, and I was losing all my friends.

I can honestly say that I don't have ANY friends right now and I am actually happy. I never thought I would live to see this day.

It's all because I asked my spirit guide recently, why it felt like I was destined to be alone. And he told me, "I want you to learn to rely on yourself, rather than keep putting so much importance on other people. You survived your past, you managed to help yourself without anyone else's help, so why do you continue to think you can't rely on yourself?" And it's true, because I did at the time feel like "myself" wasn't good enough, that I could never live alone.

And I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that I could be happy being alone, for surely humans are meant to be social creatures. But my spirit guide said, "If I said you could be alone and be happy at the same time, would you try it?"

And I agreed, because I thought if I truly could be happy being alone, then I wouldn't care about being alone anymore.

And it was really easy. All he got me to do was accept that people were not important and that my happiness would not come from others, that it only comes from me. It's probably a simple lesson that most people already know, but it was the first time I really felt peace. All the pain from my toxic relationship with my parent's just left.

I literally accepted for the first time in my life that my parent's were not important, that they probably will never love me, and that acceptance was extremely freeing. Now they can do anything to harm me and it does not harm me. I can spend time with them now and just accept them for who they are and who they are does not bother me. I have released all expectations. They can be jerks and it just doesn't bother me anymore, because I can rely on myself. I don't need other people, literally all I need is NOW - this moment and myself. Once I realized that I felt truly happy. I don't need other people in my life, in fact I've spent so much time relying on others, that now I'm truly happy to be alone, to just focus and do what I love to do, without other people bringing me down.

It's a beautiful realization and such a simple one. And the nice thing, is that I haven't become a jerk either. Some people get hardened by so much hurt, but I haven't. I can still love people, I can still love my parent's despite how much they harm me and I can still spend time with them, the only difference now is I am no longer expecting them to love me in return. In fact, I can happily admit that no one in this world truly loves me in return. Most people are jerks, and I am okay with that now. Accepting that actually makes me happy. I've finally learned how to love without expecting love in return.

[Tayshet-extrasens]

Hi, keokutah!
In June 2011, just before his birthday 23 years old, magical effect was exerted on you. Since then the problems started. In May of 2016 begins a new stage. It is necessary to overcome it.
With respect, Tayshet-extrasens.

[keokutah]

Originally Posted by Tayshet-extrasens

Hi, keokutah!
In June 2011, just before his birthday 23 years old, magical effect was exerted on you. Since then the problems started. In May of 2016 begins a new stage. It is necessary to overcome it.
With respect, Tayshet-extrasens.

Before whose birthday?

[naturesflow]

Originally Posted by keokutah

The title is part of a duran duran song, but it's also a huge realization I had recently that has been so completely freeing. I experienced so much loneliness, heart break, hurt and pain all of my life, all because I put too much importance on other people to make me happy.

It's like I spent my entire life alone, always having to help myself, even when I was struggling with alcoholism and mental illness, people still left me alone and I still had to fend for myself, and I constantly felt like humanity owed me. I found that objects, money, and even goals would never bring me happiness, but for some reason I kept holding onto this idea that I needed love and good relationships with my family and people in general to be happy.

I had such a toxic relationship with my parents that hurt me deeply every single day, and my expectations of them and this idea I carried around that they should love me, was like an anchor dragging me down. I kept thinking the only thing I could do was be hurt by them forever or just leave them completely, I never realized I could actually just let it go. And meanwhile everyone I knew was dying so I was in mourning constantly, and I was losing all my friends.

I can honestly say that I don't have ANY friends right now and I am actually happy. I never thought I would live to see this day.

It's all because I asked my spirit guide recently, why it felt like I was destined to be alone. And he told me, "I want you to learn to rely on yourself, rather than keep putting so much importance on other people. You survived your past, you managed to help yourself without anyone else's help, so why do you continue to think you can't rely on yourself?" And it's true, because I did at the time feel like "myself" wasn't good enough, that I could never live alone.

And I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that I could be happy being alone, for surely humans are meant to be social creatures. But my spirit guide said, "If I said you could be alone and be happy at the same time, would you try it?"

And I agreed, because I thought if I truly could be happy being alone, then I wouldn't care about being alone anymore.

And it was really easy. All he got me to do was accept that people were not important and that my happiness would not come from others, that it only comes from me. It's probably a simple lesson that most people already know, but it was the first time I really felt peace. All the pain from my toxic relationship with my parent's just left.

I literally accepted for the first time in my life that my parent's were not important, that they probably will never love me, and that acceptance was extremely freeing. Now they can do anything to harm me and it does not harm me. I can spend time with them now and just accept them for who they are and who they are does not bother me. I have released all expectations. They can be jerks and it just doesn't bother me anymore, because I can rely on myself. I don't need other people, literally all I need is NOW - this moment and myself. Once I realized that I felt truly happy. I don't need other people in my life, in fact I've spent so much time relying on others, that now I'm truly happy to be alone, to just focus and do what I love to do, without other people bringing me down.

It's a beautiful realization and such a simple one. And the nice thing, is that I haven't become a jerk either. Some people get hardened by so much hurt, but I haven't. I can still love people, I can still love my parent's despite how much they harm me and I can still spend time with them, the only difference now is I am no longer expecting them to love me in return. In fact, I can happily admit that no one in this world truly loves me in return. Most people are jerks, and I am okay with that now. Accepting that actually makes me happy. I've finally learned how to love without expecting love in return.

Sounds awesome. Some simple facts helping you see more. The right questions asked. Accepting the offering. And seeing naturally how it all fits into the now to be what you want to be regardless of life and others. Even if you were locked away, you could still hold this realization while being confined. It is just sometimes it takes us unlocking confinement within to know this first.

[Baile]

Typical steps in human life and understanding:

Teen years: need for sex
20s: need for spouse
30s: awakening to self-need
40s: discovering authentic love relationship with another

It's like everything else, once you let go of the fear and need, it lovingly manifests in your life. One of the realities of living in the Now.