Soul connection & Marriage

I know I have found a soul connection, whether he's a tf or not, I don't know and quite honestly, it doesn't matter what name it has been given...it's an undeniable connection, nonetheless.

However, I a married and feel somewhat guilty that my heart and soul gives attention to this other person and also to my newfound goal, which is to grow spiritually and keep an open link with my soul connection. My spouse shows no desire for this type of growth and he and I are on two different planes regarding these beliefs. He does not know of this connection.

Is anyone in my situation (guilt & a spiritually detached spouse) and how do you handle it?

Originally Posted by soulful

I know I have found a soul connection, whether he's a tf or not, I don't know and quite honestly, it doesn't matter what name it has been given...it's an undeniable connection, nonetheless.

However, I a married and feel somewhat guilty that my heart and soul gives attention to this other person and also to my newfound goal, which is to grow spiritually and keep an open link with my soul connection. My spouse shows no desire for this type of growth and he and I are on two different planes regarding these beliefs. He does not know of this connection.

Is anyone in my situation (guilt & a spiritually detached spouse) and how do you handle it?

Meeting a TF or not I think the biggest issue in your relationship you pointed out with this comment

Originally Posted by soulful

My spouse shows no desire for this type of growth and he and I are on two different planes regarding these beliefs.

You don't have to understand nor relate to someone to show empathy. My wife was unable to do that when I discussed what I was going through after my spiritual awakening in particular this connection I felt to a women that I hadn't seen in 6yrs. I explained to her that it was a spiritual connection and that I choose my wife over her the several times I had the option of either one of them yet that didn't matter in her mind. In her mind I'm crazy. She even called me a sociopath. Bottom line is who wants to share a life with someone that isn't willing to at least empathize with what the other is going through even if they can't relate. Love shouldn't be conditional.

Yes, my husband's lack of interest in finding more spirituality is a big problem in our marriage (to me) not him. He is who he is, and I am who I am.

I have no desire to leave my husband over this experience, as nothing is set in stone when one finds his/her soul connection. I am not so foolish to believe that the end result will be all unicorns and rainbows with this other person, and I do love my husband for all the good things he is to me and our children. And, who's to say my husband won't become more open on his own someday by witnessing my own enlightening?? I do know my husband and this is highly unlikely, but it still is possible. Do I discard him simply because of the difference in thought process or current pull to change and expand? No, I think not.

My question was, how do I deal with this new experience? I suppose I simply treat it as a lesson, change my frame of mind about it? Since I am not looking to ride off into the sunset with this other man, I am looking for ways to accept/deal with what has been given me with this amazing soul connection. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by it.

Thanks so much for responding.

Originally Posted by soulful

Yes, my husband's lack of interest in finding more spirituality is a big problem in our marriage (to me) not him. He is who he is, and I am who I am.

I have no desire to leave my husband over this experience, as nothing is set in stone when one finds his/her soul connection. I am not so foolish to believe that the end result will be all unicorns and rainbows with this other person, and I do love my husband for all the good things he is to me and our children. And, who's to say my husband won't become more open on his own someday by witnessing my own enlightening?? I do know my husband and this is highly unlikely, but it still is possible. Do I discard him simply because of the difference in thought process or current pull to change and expand? No, I think not.

My question was, how do I deal with this new experience? I suppose I simply treat it as a lesson, change my frame of mind about it? Since I am not looking to ride off into the sunset with this other man, I am looking for ways to accept/deal with what has been given me with this amazing soul connection. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by it.

Thanks so much for responding.

I wasn't suggesting you leave your husband only sharing my own personal experience with dealing with this type of connection and how I found "Peace". Similar to what you are saying I said the same thing 6yrs ago when I met this other person "I'm not about to leave my GF for someone I barely know when everything in my relationship is pretty good and we've had 8yrs together and lots of wonderful memories". So I tried to deal with it the logical way. I cut all contact with this person, ignored her emails for 6months than didn't hear from her for nearly 3yrs till I contacted her again going into my wedding. The feelings not only didn't go away during that period of no contact they actually grew. I contacted her to try and figure out what the hell was going on since I didn't want to end up married with regrets let alone love in my heart for another women other than my wife.

You are not the only one married dealing with this. I am still technically married (just filed for divorce after a year of separation) and many others on this forums are either married, their "TF" is married or BOTH. For the people married out there that have love in their heart for another person I couldn't imaging any other way to describe it other than "Hell on earth".

[spiralfungi]

Same boat with ya. My husband too does not have any interest in spirituality. In fact he's probably the least spiritual person I know to date. To be honest I am not sure how far along we would go. Marriage certainly is a challenge in itself. Coupled with the fact that the soul connection is another person, it is definitely something to work hard on especially since marriage is a choice.
I met my connection a long time before I met my husband and we have always stayed close even after the both if us have been married to other people. There is no denying the bond and no matter how hard we try we cannot let go of it. So we are just dealing with things as they come.

[SomewhereInTime]

Great posts.

When I first saw him, he was married (didn't know it at the time) and I had just divorced 2 years earlier (I was married for 3 years). He divorced 3 years later, and it was finalized 3 days prior to the day I encountered him (found this out recently). Never saw him again after that day I first encountered him. Now, we are both married and I would never want to do/say anything or cause pain or drama to anyone, so I just let things be and know that if something is meant to be, it will be. Just going with the flow. He doesn't even know what I'm feeling and I would never tell him out of respect for his marriage as well as my own. I mean, I could easily contact him if I wanted to, but I won't. Can't bring myself to do it.

It doesn't change what I feel for him. That unconditional love is still there and always will be, no matter what the circumstances are. I always hope for the best for him, good health, happiness, peace, all of that.

Originally Posted by SomewhereInTime

He doesn't even know what I'm feeling and I would never tell him out of respect for his marriage as well as my own. I mean, I could easily contact him if I wanted to, but I won't. Can't bring myself to do it.

My TF did the exact same thing with me. After years of no contact I reached out to her a few months prior to my wedding to try and resolve the feelings I had for her. At first she flat out denied she felt anything for me anymore to the point of actually telling me she never loved me and just enjoyed the attention at the time. I didn't believe her but figured this was what I needed to hear so that I could get married with no regrets. The months went by without any contact with her and the week before my wedding I get these emails from her:

"I have been thinking about you after your emails this summer actually. and i do still feel something for you, i just didnt want to tell you now that youre getting married. i want you to be happy, and i know you love your girlfriend. i would like to see you again, it would be fun to catch up. when are you getting married?"

"Maybe you shouldnt get married if you feel that way XXXXX. doesnt sound healthy to me..how can you still be inlove with me after all this time!
but i have to admit, i was happy when you emailed me

Than after I get married....

"True love wouldn't marry someone else"

"How can i be ready? You drop this big bomb on me that youre getting married and that youll call it off if im ready. I refuse to be the reason that broke up a marriage. I couldnt decide that one for you. Youre old enough to know right from wrong. Marrying someone for the wrong reasons is definitly wrong. I wouldnt say no to meeting you again, and see if it could work. But i wasnt going to decide anything for you regarding you wedding"

"I just don't Think its right. You married XXXX, you should give her your full attention. If were meant to be together then we will some time, if not then it wasn't meant to be"

[SomewhereInTime]

Wow, BeautifulLife! This stuff can get pretty frustrating and confusing can't it? I really enjoy reading your posts so much. They are very much appreciated.

Originally Posted by SomewhereInTime

Wow, BeautifulLife! This stuff can get pretty frustrating and confusing can't it? I really enjoy reading your posts so much. They are very much appreciated.

Tell me about it...During my honeymoon I finally got to talk to her on the phone for an hour. She had been avoiding talking to me on the phone both when I initially contacted her months before my wedding as well as the week before my wedding when she finally admitted she still had feelings for me. She'd agree to talk to me only to not pick up when I called her phone, LOL. So finally I got a chance to talk to her on the phone and everything I had felt about her was instantly validate. I could hear it in her voice both the love and fear. I described to her what I was going through as well as the TF concept and she replied "I think I am your TF...I have been running. I was insecure and didn't feel you could love me like you loved your gf and I never believed you that you'd ever leave her".

After that phone call a day goes by and she goes back to her old ways. Refusing to talk to me on the phone again and emailing me that she doesn't have any feelings for me and to "Forget everything I said, I was caught up in the moment" and that I should just forget about her. A month later she meets a new guy, moves in with him a few months after than and a year later is engaged.....LOL

I, too, am married and feel just horrible that I have the feelings I have for my tf. In fact, I am beginning to believe this was not a tf after all as and tf and I do not actually discuss spiritual things. I just thought it was a spiritual thing because I was having such intense pulls from my heart and solar plexus areas toward him. Also, he left really mad at me yesterday and I actually wrote him a few more times today and he refuses to write me back.

I am starting to believe I had an emotional affair and that this was not the tf thing I imagined it was. The guilt will come in again soon as I realize I have been neglecting my wonderful husband and forming a bond with someone else and it was not what I thought it was.

The only good news might be that I think I cleared some karma.