It was never meant to be, ? my experience with boys.

girlsearching · #1 11-12-2012, 03:25 PM

okay so i have decided to share why i typically have trouble with the oppisite sex in general. in my 19 years of living i have never incounterd any of my school crushes to have the same feelings for me as i did for them. now i'm comfaterable with putting thier names on here sense it could be anyone with these names that they have. so i just wanted to share why i have this low self esteem about myself. and i know that a boy should not want to make you feel beautiful, or thier compliments should only add to the simple fact that you do see yourself as beautiful and be confident . okay so bare with me on this one guys.

I went to Turner High school it's actually a combined middleschool/highschool .

6th grade edit
Tremain see he was my first crush he was in 8th grade at the time. he was biracial had black curly hair. too, allmost every girl thought that he was i knew it would not work out between us though i do rember he gave me a hug before but sitll that was it.

7th grade edit
than there was zach he came to our class as a new student in the 7nth grade at turner titan middle school. me and my cousin both had a crush on him . but zach was never interested he usally dated white girls and the other kids would say that he was racist only it was in a teasing manner though because he is black/white his ownself.

i skipped 8th grade because it wasnt' anybody and still kind of liked zach a little.

freshman year 9th grade
when i started my freshman year i was glad that i was going to be in highschool to bad i wasnt the top dog on campus . but my freshman year was okay though. that year i had a new crush thier names were Raul and Sergio now i never really liked hispanic boys before i gusse i never noticed them before. raul was hispanic he was tall i think 6, 1 for his hieght. and sergio was dominican he had jet black curly hair. i thought both of them were cute. but raul did not like me though he allready had a girlfreind she was haspanic too, but sergio and raul were nice to me though.

they left after freshman year to a diffarent school.

Sophmore year 10th grade
now i was one step closer on my up the social latter of highschool. i had a crush on Jerrick he was this skateboader he was white and hawaiian. but as allways he was not intersted in me at all, plus he had a girlfriend too.

Juinor year 11th grade
by this time i was really happy my highschool days were fun hanging out with friends and we could not wait to be seniors. now i had a crush on a few of the senior guys like Micah who was guatamalan. but i knew it would not have worekd out besides i was mostly acquaintance with them before.

Senior year 12th grade class of 2012,
i made into being a senior and i liked it. now i do'nt want you to think that i was just a hopeless romantic or desperate. like i said my school days were fun and sure i had my downfalls but i got right back up and got over them. i did attend the school dances but i did not go to prom though. i remember at one point it was when i was freshmen i kind of wanted to commit suicide because i truly thought that i was ugly and not beautiful like everyone eles. after i ahd a few counsaling sessions i was okay. but still i ofeten wonderd why none of my chrushes never liked me. my one friend alyssa told me a that Honestly, star i don't see why boys do not like you because your beautiful but than maybe god is not letting them have feelings for you because god is trying to protect me. i never forgot that and maybe she was right too.
outside of school Crushes
now when i did move into my new house with my family i was in middleschool. and i had a crush on this one boy now his name will be Anonymous his grandpa lived across the street from me and sometimes he would visit him.now i used to argue with him and his guy friends would shout and call names from across the street. he knew that i liked him but i do not think that he was interested in me at all. and i would always argue with him for no real paticular reason. we got older and we just kept away afrom each other i would just mind my own business while i hung out with my girl cousins.

so there you have it my dilemma with guys in general. i mean i know not everyone is going to find you attractive anyway.

Edits by SF Staff to remove names

#2 11-12-2012, 06:11 PM

You are still young and have lots and lots of time to find the right guy!!
I was much like you when I was in school - never had any boyfriends (had guys I hung out with as friends, but never actually dated any of them). I often thought the same thing - that there was something wrong with me, and guys would never think of me as someone they would want to be with.
But - once you get out of school, and start focussing on yourself and your own life - you'll suddenly find that things start to happen - you'll meet people, and as long as you don't constantly focus on any expectation - the right person will appear at the right time....
Relax, enjoy life, and let things happen in their own time and their own way!

girlsearching · #3 11-12-2012, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sesheta

You are still young and have lots and lots of time to find the right guy!!
I was much like you when I was in school - never had any boyfriends (had guys I hung out with as friends, but never actually dated any of them). I often thought the same thing - that there was something wrong with me, and guys would never think of me as someone they would want to be with.
But - once you get out of school, and start focussing on yourself and your own life - you'll suddenly find that things start to happen - you'll meet people, and as long as you don't constantly focus on any expectation - the right person will appear at the right time....
Relax, enjoy life, and let things happen in their own time and their own way!

thank you Sesheta for the advice i appreciate it. i gusse i was reflecting on why my past crushes allways were failurs to begin with. and you know what the sad part is even till this day i still have certain crushes in my mind that i often think about from time to time. now i'm in colledge and its a whole new diffarent ball game. but the certain ones who will be forever imprinted in my thoughts. i gusse i kind of still have some feelings for them i know i should get on and i am.

#4 12-12-2012, 01:50 PM

girl,
Instead of focusing on and analyzing the interaction with boys or how boys are, find out who you are as a young woman and what you want from your life.
Once you figure yourself out first and develope a strong foundation of self love, you will know the type of guy and the type of releationship that you want for yourself and for your life.
You still have a long journey as a woman.
Take your time. But do not forget to have fun.

girlsearching · #5 12-12-2012, 02:19 PM

[quote=Nada]girl,
Instead of focusing on and analyzing the interaction with boys or how boys are, find out who you are as a young woman and what you want from your life.
Once you figure yourself out first and develope a strong foundation of self love, you will know the type of guy and the type of releationship that you want for yourself and for your life.
You still have a long journey as a woman.
Take your time. But do not forget to have fun.[/QUOTE

Nada thank you for the advice. you are right instead of trying to analyze why they did not work out from the gecko i should focus on loving and accepting myself. i still have a long way to go before i know what i really want in life. but i was just venting my frustratons and maybe i was supposed to never be with any of those guys at all. and i think it's a learning experience and a chance to see what i might want in a future relationship but than again i still wonder what could of been...

girlsearching · #6 14-12-2012, 12:26 AM

i really just need to let the past go it would of never worked out between me and my cruhes is anyway.

#7 14-12-2012, 12:44 AM

http://ca.images.search.yahoo.com/im... =h9hB/ok2kPX

girlsearching · #8 18-12-2012, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sesheta

http://ca.images.search.yahoo.com/im... =h9hB/ok2kPX

thank you

sesheta that made my day don't worry for my new years resolutions i plan to do better.

JOHNTY · #9 18-12-2012, 03:02 PM

Greetings to you All,

Girlsearching ... I had the same problems as yourself - only the other way around: I'm a guy! It took me until the age of 23 before some gal found me good enough to love and live together We've been married now 46 years. And I still don't know why she found me more interesting than any of the other men. But when love hits you'll know it.

girlsearching · #10 19-12-2012, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JOHNTY

Greetings to you All,

Girlsearching ... I had the same problems as yourself - only the other way around: I'm a guy! It took me until the age of 23 before some gal found me good enough to love and live together We've been married now 46 years. And I still don't know why she found me more interesting than any of the other men. But when love hits you'll know it.

thats a beautiful story Johnty i hope you two will continue to grow and love each other everyday.

and i hope one day that will be able to happen to me too. and your wife picked you because there was something special that she saw in you.