Repetitive memory and Deja vu

[RedEmbers]

Hi,

I have a memory (not from my THIS reality) which resurfaces any time I experience an ending of a significant connection.

It feels like somewhere in reality, I am stuck in time and I keep repeating it - trying different things, yet energetically the outcomes are all pretty similar, just different forms of the same thing.

Each time, I do something different and feel some release.

This time around, I feel like surrendering to the memory and living it out... in full awareness of all the other choices and outcomes I have already experienced from this memory. It does not seem to matter what choice I make in this scenario because the outcomes all seem the same.

Has anyone ever experienced anything like this before who can maybe shed some light on it?

[FallingLeaves]

sounds like the 'groundhog day' thing. You are stuck with it until it is time not to be stuck with it... But I don't know if it is so much a matter of getting things 'right' finally, as of you and the others around you getting tired of doing basically the same thing in different ways and just 'stopping'.

[Miss Hepburn]

Fascinating, R.E.
I wonder if a therapist that does light hypnosis could unlock something.
Where're Dr. Brian Weiss or Rob Schwartz when you need them?

[RedEmbers]

Originally Posted by FallingLeaves

sounds like the 'groundhog day' thing. You are stuck with it until it is time not to be stuck with it... But I don't know if it is so much a matter of getting things 'right' finally, as of you and the others around you getting tired of doing basically the same thing in different ways and just 'stopping'.

HAHA, feels like a very long groundhog day I feel like I should watch that movie!

I meant to do a quick visualisation the other day on this particular thing.
I decided to stay and surrender to the "fate" of each of the outcomes.

Here is some dialogue from the movie - groundhog day "Phil: "No matter what happens tomorrow, or for the rest of my life, I'm happy now".


There are times in my current life where I feel like I am almost a carbon copy of those re - occurring memories. I am still doing the same activity as my life work (farming, agriculture, connection to the natural world) and the theme is the same. There is a war going on, many of my social group and my partner leave for war and never return, I never find out what happens to them, if they went missing or died and I am left alone, working the farm until I die.
Sometimes I choose to leave the farm and I end up wandering around alone until I die.


My sister painted a picture of me the other day (she has no idea about this memory of mine).

She painted me on a farm, working alone hahaha.
I feel like, this time, I surrender to the whole lot and choose to notice where I am not alone. That is one small change which might just slowly break the loop. Perhaps, a simple perspective shift might do it.


"No matter what happens tomorrow, or for the rest of my life, I'm happy now".

[RedEmbers]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

Fascinating, R.E.
I wonder if a therapist that does light hypnosis could unlock something.
Where're Dr. Brian Weiss or Rob Schwartz when you need them?

Not a bad idea, at the very least, it could be interesting and I might get a movie storyline from it

[Justin Passing]

Originally Posted by RedEmbers

I have a memory (not from my THIS reality) which resurfaces any time I experience an ending of a significant connection.

It feels like somewhere in reality, I am stuck in time and I keep repeating it - trying different things, yet energetically the outcomes are all pretty similar, just different forms of the same thing.

This might be a memory of a dream. It sounds like that to me. And I've been fooled into thinking the memory of a dream was not a dream from time to time. Worth thinking about anyway.

If it is a dream (or even if it's not), I expect it's pointing to a deep seated fear you might want to explore. The fear of being left alone perhaps? Finding the root of that might free you from this endless "deja vu" thing you've got going on.

[RedEmbers]

Yeah, I seem to have some significant abandonment wounds. Realistically, I know that they relate to being a child of neglect, however these reoccurring visions or whatever they are make it seem a lot deeper then I seem to be able to deal with on a more conscious, day to day level. I am tired of living out this story and yet I have surrendered to it as well.

I had a dream last night, same scene and someone came to visit me and help me on the farm and they stuck around, it was an unfamiliar and comforting feeling. I think it is just as much about me "moving on" as anything, especially because typically, after any kind of separation I self isolate to unhealthy degrees.

It's a call to ensure that I am meeting people and letting people get to know me.

I really want to get a handle on this. I am not getting any younger and I would love to think back on the communities I have been a part of and the friendships I have nurtured over my lifetime.

[Justin Passing]

Surrendering may not be enough. These feelings are a bit like little children. You need to sit with them and listen to their tales of woe until the "storm" finally passes. No judgment - with an open heart - simply love them (the feelings) and be with them. They need "quality time" with you - they need your full attention. And although it might seem like their "stories" go on forever, don't get caught up in them, just listen. This is the past - nothing needs fixing - there's nothing to do. Eventually the storm will pass and they (and you) will be free to go.

For this to be completely effective you often need to find the "root" of this pain. Trace back through your memories to the earliest one that feels like the abandonment you feel. Not past lives - your past. And when you find it, open your heart, sink right into the pain, let that pain be your whole world, and feel it. Let it sing to you. It is you, and it needs you to know, so let it tell you all about it. It's really no different than sitting with a friend who's been through a terrible ordeal - the only difference is you're sitting with you. It can hurt - it can hurt a lot - but pain is just pain. Better out than in.

If you find you can't face it, see if you can get a trusted friend to hold the field for you while you do it. That can help more than you might think. They don't need to do anything - just hold the field - so you can be alone with your feelings.

Hope this helps. I really do.

[RedEmbers]

Thanks Justin Passing.

I think the part of your advice which really helps is not being alone and not processing this sort of stuff alone.
I have done a lot of this kind of work alone and it was healing and useful but it started to reinforce my aloneness.

If my core wound is an early memory of having no one to take care of me and feeling very alone, then my healing comes through choosing safe people to be myself around who are not manipulative towards me but rather just holding me in space.

Honestly, it feels pretty simple to me right now. I craved consistency and care as a kid, even those times when I was happy and laughing were not reciprocated.

I am being what I need to receive from myself and others. So, I think that the baby and the kid who was me just needs to nurture kindness and consistency.
Someone to let them know that they are not going anywhere and not purposefully leaving me behind to fend for myself

I feel like it is as easy as recognising that in myself and then consistently turning up for others who have the same need and desire, in a genuine way of course. A lot of re - traumatisation from these relationships come from me consistently choosing people who cannot be consistent and are in some way, not really there for me.


Ending the groundhog day also comes from making new choices.

[lostsoul13]

Just passing~ what a great metaphor:

Maybe it’s a bit like day ja vo - where the recurring similarities happening: past life or alternate life’s possible? Your tapping into the vertex of alternate worlds and have recurring memory’s?