unusual dilema

EarthtoKristina · #1 03-08-2016, 09:25 PM

I came out as a lesbian at 14 years old and I'm 32 now. However I did date a couple guys along my journey but that's not part of my current dilemma. I used to be on dating websites and got no where with women. They wouldn't even look at my profile. Then I'd switch it to men out of frustration and get a ton of hits, so it's not me. I'm cute. I just don't think most lesbians are interested in me. It takes a very special lesbian to be into me. But then this one girl who is one year older than me found me through mutual friends on facebook and we've been talking for a few months. We plan to finally meet third weekend in August but she lives in Michegan and I live in PA. So she's 9 away but my age and available. We connect well over the phone and already got into the "I love you's" prematurely but we agree it's that we love each other's spirit because we haven't physically met yet. We love what we know so far.

So about a month ago I started getting lonely and was randomly adding people as new friends on facebook through mutual friends and I started talking to this older woman who is 54 and we connect very well in a different way, spiritually. She was the one who introduced me to the term "indigo child" thinking I might be one. We actually did meet and hung out once. I felt a connection with her too and we hugged a couple times but nothing else. She knows about the girl from Michigan and supports it but I feel like she's interested in me as well.

I'm used to having no one ever be interested me and resort to the opposite sex to get somewhere. But now I love myself and I have two prospects. I don't want to screw things up with anyone. I think I'm handling it fine so far. They know about each other. I'm not hiding anything. Honestly I wish I could have two girlfriends. I feel like my heart is deep as the sea. Or am I just being greedy? The older woman lives relatively close to me. But I don't want distance to be the criteria for dating someone. I just think they are both awesome people and don't want to lose them in my life.

H:O:R:A:C:E · #2 03-08-2016, 09:55 PM

a dilemma is a situation with two (or more?) undesirable options for choices.
your situation doesn't seem to fit that.
you can (continue to) be true to your inner sense of what is right/wrong,
or compromise your own knowing for what society deems appropriate.
[is that a fair assessment?]
the dilemma may be in deciding who has your welfare in mind: society or you.

jimrich · #3 06-08-2016, 01:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EarthtoKristina

I came out as a lesbian at 14 years old and I'm 32 now. However I did date a couple guys along my journey but that's not part of my current dilemma. I used to be on dating websites and got no where with women. They wouldn't even look at my profile. Then I'd switch it to men out of frustration and get a ton of hits, so it's not me. I'm cute. I just don't think most lesbians are interested in me. It takes a very special lesbian to be into me. But then this one girl who is one year older than me found me through mutual friends on facebook and we've been talking for a few months. We plan to finally meet third weekend in August but she lives in Michegan and I live in PA. So she's 9 away but my age and available. We connect well over the phone and already got into the "I love you's" prematurely but we agree it's that we love each other's spirit because we haven't physically met yet. We love what we know so far.

So about a month ago I started getting lonely and was randomly adding people as new friends on facebook through mutual friends and I started talking to this older woman who is 54 and we connect very well in a different way, spiritually. She was the one who introduced me to the term "indigo child" thinking I might be one. We actually did meet and hung out once. I felt a connection with her too and we hugged a couple times but nothing else. She knows about the girl from Michigan and supports it but I feel like she's interested in me as well.

I'm used to having no one ever be interested me and resort to the opposite sex to get somewhere. But now I love myself and I have two prospects. I don't want to screw things up with anyone. I think I'm handling it fine so far. They know about each other. I'm not hiding anything. Honestly I wish I could have two girlfriends. I feel like my heart is deep as the sea. Or am I just being greedy? The older woman lives relatively close to me. But I don't want distance to be the criteria for dating someone. I just think they are both awesome people and don't want to lose them in my life.

Maybe you can have one just for sex and the other one for conversation. Toss a coin.

sea-dove · #4 06-08-2016, 08:28 AM

I hope you dont end up hurting either of these as it sounds like you arent strongly into either and hence are happy to do what you are doing with both including having a distance relationship with one of them.

Most people when they are truely into someone want far more then just an online relationship and most would be willing to move to be with the other, otherwise its more like a fantasy online relationship. (Ive had several guys play that game with me and isnt nice to be lead on in this way to think that one day there may be more).

I dont see an issue though with dating two people at once (Ive done that fully with both guys who were friends approving) as long as one isnt leading either of them on and they are not being left actually wanting and wishing for more then one is giving.

shoni7510 · #5 10-08-2016, 02:06 PM

You do face some sort of a dilemma because they are both prospects that may or may not turn out the way you anticipated. It is too early to know who to go out with at this stage but after you have met the long-distance one you may be able to decide which one connect with you better. Good luck with your meeting.