wanting atention and love from others

[anthony c]

Hi all

I am looking for a guided meditation for how to stop wanting attention, love and approval from others plz? Or some article and pages that would help me.

Also to help me not wanting to be a person that pleases people all the time, just cant kick the habit and to be myself, speak my truth and just say no to people in general.

Thanks

[Floatsy]

Anapanasati

[Miss Hepburn]

Now, see, my wish for you would be to go to just a few therapy sessions.
Get to the cause of these issues and be done with it!
But, that's me.

[Floatsy]

Miss Hepburn speaks wisely - I don't know your background, OP, so please be open to the idea that therapy is a very effective tool in working with areas you may wish to focus on.

[WuWei]

Originally Posted by anthony c

Hi all

I am looking for a guided meditation for how to stop wanting attention, love and approval from others plz? Or some article and pages that would help me.

Also to help me not wanting to be a person that pleases people all the time, just cant kick the habit and to be myself, speak my truth and just say no to people in general.

Thanks

You seek a guided meditation because you are too lazy to look at yourself honestly and fearlessly. I could write some things for you to help you reflect, if you're willing to hear some things you might not like.

fearlessness and lovefulness will get ya there. lol

Fundamentally, it is about honesty. If you don't say no when you feel or think 'no', you are being dishonest. That's not so much a moral issue, but a practical one, as the way people see you will slowly warp into this act of being a 'yes' person, or being a person who naturally wants to please someone else. They exist, and many enjoy that way of living.

However, if you are not that kind of person then I suggest you be kinder to those in the world around you by being honest about your real desires, no matter how scary. It will also teach you many things about how to mature and be responsible.

I hope this helps.

[anthony c]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

Now, see, my wish for you would be to go to just a few therapy sessions.
Get to the cause of these issues and be done with it!
But, that's me.

Miss Hepburn you are right and i know i do need help but it's just not the time as money and other issues got me stuck at the moment.

Looking back at yesterday when i typed the message, i was sober but drunk on rage and depression but now i don't feel that upset anymore. That said i know that what happened will just happen again and again as it has done my entire life and i do have a problem and i need to work on it. I realize that by asking, i am looking for a quick fix but the is no easy way or miracle .

I just need a little more time and i will get the help i need and go for therapy.

Thank you

[anthony c]

Thanks Floatsy will keep it in mind.

WuWei by asking for a guided meditation it's not me being lazy but it's just easier way for me to do the meditation effectively as if i knew how to do it i would not be asking for a method.

I also am honest with myself cause i realize i have a problem and am not blaming others but myself even though i was angry at everyone and the world but was upset at myself and thought i would never accept myself like that. I knew that the problem was by me. I also would not admit that i am looking for attention and approval from others if i was not honest with myself and would blame others even though i sort of did.

I just cant say no, i get an uncomfortable feeling that kind of overwhelms me and i just answer yes even without thinking about it, like a reaction. I feel disgusted afterwards now but years ago i did not even feel bad but i hate that side of me as i want to be myself and not someone else or something i am not anymore.

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by anthony c

... just not the time as money and
other issues got me stuck at the moment.

I completely understand.

Want me to play therapist for free?
I ask leading questions basically and you think on them.
come up with the answer for yourself...you don't even have to type them here.

Example...What would happen if 'Mr or Miss So and So', coworker, friend ,cashier...didn't give you their approval?
What would that mean...and how would you feel inside?

Then, can you remember not getting approval, maybe being shamed as a child?
Did a sibling GET praise and support...when you didn't?

There, that was 30 min of a $120 session!!!!
Trust me I know...lived with therapists for 25 years!
2 sep relationships!
LOL!

[anthony c]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

I completely understand.

Want me to play therapist for free?
I ask leading questions basically and you think on them.
come up with the answer for yourself...you don't even have to type them here.

Example...What would happen if 'Mr or Miss So and So', coworker, friend ,cashier...didn't give you their approval?
What would that mean...and how would you feel inside?

Then, can you remember not getting approval, maybe being shamed as a child?
Did a sibling GET praise and support...when you didn't?

There, that was 30 min of a $120 session!!!!
Trust me I know...lived with therapists for 25 years!
2 sep relationships!
LOL!

That is one way of looking at it be my own therapist. You just gave me a guided meditation hehehe

I ask a question like you just did and meditate on it.

Thanks Miss H

[Floatsy]

Meditation is not thinking - thinking is for outside meditation. Just some thoughts.