My story - looking for some hope

[Belle]

Originally Posted by Nada

The way I see it, your husband is a good guy but he is going through a difficult time of his life. And he needs you right now.
This life lesson that your husband is going through is not just his lesson but your lesson as well.

Hi Nada - I'm not going to rummage your post as i do see where you are coming from broadly. That said, there are a couple of things in the above bit quoted which I would like to pick up on. First off, Zen doesn't deny that the husband is a good guy. But she has said that things aren't going well for him and haven't done since they moved to the area. And that maybe she is the block.

Maybe - just maybe - him being with her is the negative element in his life which is preventing him flourishing in his life?

And who knows what the lessons are for Zen and the husband?

It just doesn't feel so black and white to me as that. And perhaps some of those things can only be viewed with hindsight.

The key, which is what Zen seems to be focusing on, is to be kind, and that is not easy in matters which involve the heart.

But yes, it's an issue (and I've been in similar) where it's really hard to know what to do and arguments hit from all angles and there is not one single right way that is clear.

[sisi14]

So, here goes. Breathing deeply …….

If we believe, as I have come to, that ultimately we are spirit embodied to communicate with one another and with the Universe (God, if you will) to learn that we are spirit, we begin to shift from a sense of separateness into something that approaches but isn't quite Oneness (I don’t think we would still be here if we totally accepted the idea of Oneness.)

As this journey continues, both from a position we recognize and can describe with words as well as from a spiritual perspective that transcends words, we begin to "see" that all of our manmade concepts no longer make sense. Here I am talking about relational words: romance and marriage being primary along with the labeled "feelings" that these stir within us.

As a result, the judgments we place on what we should or shouldn’t do also no longer make sense. The lines that create duality begin to blur….gradually, at least for me, the divisive and manmade ideas of right and wrong , black and white, even either/or begin to feel restrictive, like some sort of intellectual wall I have built (with a little help from society, religion and other “friends”) over the years.

What I’m trying to say is that we can call these connections whatever we want, but the word or words we use are irrelevant. For me, as many have said in dozens of threads on this forum, this is a journey of self-discovery, of remembering our eternal, infinite identity as one with all and one with God.

And I believe that we all will at some point recognize that this is what our spirit yearns for, that this is home. And since, what is more compelling from a human perspective than a great and overwhelming attraction to an “Other,” why wouldn’t the Universe in it’s complete and total wisdom give some of us this path for the journey. Call it what you will, but enlightenment is about content not form…..real love is both inclusive and unconditional; from my experience, that is what this soul connection is teaching me.

So, in response to Zen, I don’t think telling yourself this is wrong or you can’t have a friendship or this can’t be, will not only be ineffective, but also may create some real issues for us (what we resist, persists as we all know). For me (and I’m talking about a process that has taken years), it is the gradual recognition that this is about not only my spiritual growth, but his, my husband’s, my children’s, my mother’s, well, you get the idea….

And, folks, it may be that simple, but it certainly isn’t easy.

Originally Posted by zen_path

Thank you all for your notes and hugs. I needed that. My first post was a few hours before I got back on the plane to head to my family, and away from my SC. 11 hours of flight later, I've had time to feel and reflect on the positive from this trip instead of just the pain of leaving (again).

I learn to let go of something on every trip, like a soul housecleaning. This trip dredged up the last big mistake that I had buried really deep and never forgiven myself for. A repeat situation, only this time I knew I had the strength to make a different choice, and it felt so right.

Ebb and flow... I feel more positive now. I'll work on my "let go and trust" mantra.

It's great that you knew to do at least this. We are how we think. If you force yourself to think along positive and optimistic and truthful lines, you will only portray those actions and those thoughts will become default. Absolutely no one on here with a TF story thinks it has been an easy road. But you and your TF's souls chose this incarnation to get some serious work done; so you have to allow that to happen.

you're obviously receptive to dreams, signs, and synchronicities so I think what you should now focus on, are those signals. THey will only help you obtain the answers to the questions you ask.

I was recently in Europe for two weeks with my parents. Thus, I made sure I had a lot of alone time haha. In this time, after reading about seven spiritual books and numerous blogs/youtube videos (kudos to smartistic_girl) I came to a very real and humble understanding about love. I may in fact, never be with my TF again, and if that were the case, I would be devastated. BUT knowing that the mirror of my soul is happy, progressing, and erasing karmic debt in order to perfect themselves, makes me feel calm. unconditional love means no conditions. basically. you can't give ultimatums, rules, etc and expect them to work on a situation such as this type. trust and faith, two intangible things, are the forefront of how you can cope and live on. but probably never move on.

good luck. you're doing the best you can.