my wife has found her twin flame

[Jatd]

Ok, wow. First I want to tell you what an incredible man/person you are.
I wish I could talk to my husband about this and explain it to him without hurting him.
Because like your wife, I am married to a wonderful man whom I adore and is so good to me and my children, but I do have a twin flame and I would give my arm and leg for my husband to be him, but he's not.

I am luck in that my twin and I no longer speak or see one another but I do think about him all the time without even trying.

I don't want to be with my twin flame, i want to be with my husband, but I literally cannot defeat these feelings I have for my twin no matter how hard i try.

Your wife's connection with him is not something she can help or must act on. But it is hard to live with. It takes a very strong person with deep understanding to live with such things and be married. I am sorry she is going through this and I am sorry that you are on the other end of it. I truly am.

Thank you for your patience and devotion to her. You are appreciated.

[JozefMera]

Thank you for the appreciation. This post made my eyes wet a bit. If I weren't at work maybe even more. Even if there was not much said. It's even hard to react. But at least for the first time I "know" about someone else being in the same position like my wife which can at least somehow confirm what she is saying is true. This is confirmation for my mind as I truly believe her. Honestly I would be much happier if her tf had at least his own girlfriend/wife, work, something that would keep at least him busy if not my wife... The scariest thing I heard from my wife was when she explained her vision to me. She would like to work together with him. She's a therapist running own spiritual growth center, doing kraniosacral therapy and some others... He's on his first massage course now. So my mind immediately came with my future: so they'll be together 8 hours a day maybe even more when running successful business and I'll be somewhere in the background... How this sounds to you? Did you want to work together with your tf? To spread love and make the world better place as twins together can do more than separate (her words as opposite to bartolomeos post where they are "designed" to do more speprate). I know this was an intimate confession of my wife she did have to tell me at all. And also that not all her visions are true later on. But she likes that vision a lot. Unlike me of course.

Could you please explain me why you don't want to be with your twin? She said to me she recognizes part in her (10%) that would like to connect with the twin as it was supposed to happen that way. But the rest 90% knows that is just a desire and she values other things like family etc. But I'm questioning is it good to supress those 10%? What if that is the real life?

I should stop thinking and start feeling... saying to myself. Please let me know if my posts are kind of self pitting because I'm starting to have that impression of myself. But I never really had an opportunity to openly speak about this to people who understand, can relate.

Thank you again.

[JozefMera]

My selfish sentence cries: she has two I've got half... Maybe you can explain it to me better. Honestly I wasn't very much realising this can be hard for her. I saw her hard times feelings like not living being no soul. But it was hard to support her because she was crying because of the other man. When we separated she kept crying 3 weeks. I thought it was because she was missing me... we at least chatted from time to time. But then I found out it was because of him. For me it was unimaginable that for 18 years relationship no tear and because he did not reply on one message for 3 weeks from one year relationship? Really? Oh I feel I would feel more safe if this was private forum without real names. This is all just hard to get in my mind.

[JozefMera]

I'm curious. How is it possible that your husband doesn't know? It was so obvious in our case...

[Sarian]

I think you would have to be an incredibly strong person to not hurt and have difficulty not understanding her plight. I was married when I met this person I was with. My marriage was horrible though, full of abuse of all forms but I stayed and sometimes I think if not for the other person I would not have gained strength to leave the abuse...but then what I got was another form.

All that you are feeling, I would say is quite normal and understandable. It's how much are you willing to take and allow. That's good you are talking to someone and no, not many counselors out there deal with TF stuff. I never heard of it until coming here myself. I wouldn't even bring it up to anyone I know because they'd look at me like I was nuts but I can't explain it...Especially when I don't really understand it.

I must have missed something, at some point, they will be working together? I honestly think it's just wrong for her to be messaging this person all the time right under your nose, that's disrespectful of you and your feelings and not honoring you and marriage...and it does not help you and your wife to become close again when she's busy pining for another.

I am not one to sugar coat things that I see or hear. I know what it did to me and it was not good, even if it helped me get out of a bad relationship, as far as TF's supposed to be love and light to the world and make it a better place and let's all have a bottle of Coke together and sing about it, I don't know if that's even true. Sure there are wonderfully awesome couples out there that just by their sheer love and enjoyment of each other can bring smiles to others because of their positive attitudes but I do not know how true it really is that they, as a couple, do such good things and I don't believe that people doing good for the world have to be couples, they could be friends, co-workers, and things like that, could be someone you meet with tons in common and you form a group or you clean parks and restore vitality to your area. Doesn't have to be some love/sexual relationship. I think anyone assuming TF stuff is walking a fine line because you don't know for sure if it's real, or has an intense feeling of love/infatuation triggered something within you are lacking or triggered an excitement and caused your mind to go on overdrive causing a fixation, an obsession and so forth. Honestly, I wondered all of those things about my own self and I still have no answers for it, but I'm just glad to be off the merry-go-round but I still have no answers and all that said, he's still bound to me in ways and even admitted it and talks to me about it and runs to me when he's in crisis and cries out how much he misses me. And hearing all that makes me want to get the heck out of Dodge even faster. I do not want to go through it again and now he's married, if he's not happy, then that's his issue, he chose to run after it.

How long have you been married and how long have you known about her other interest? And again, I'm not like others who can applaud you for hanging on because it's truly unfair for you and I can feel your anguish, your pain, your fears. You have to do what's best for you and there is life out there, a happy, joyful life, never forget that but only you know what is best for you and what you should do...take time to truly think things over and how much you are willing to take...even what you said, she has two men, you have half a woman's love.

[Jatd]

Let's see if I can answer all these questions and help you the best I can.

My husband knows OF the guy and he knew there was something crazy with us but he never really asked too much about it and so I didn't offer any information. I don't think he would believe me anyway. He's not spiritual at all and he would probably call me crazy lol. BUT I did meet my tf before him and I was with my TF while my husband and I were just friends (Before we married). He sort of watched from afar as we went our separate ways and I went into my descent of the dark night of the soul (Which was so painful) but also a beautiful bright beginning to a new life as I came out the other side.

So, I don't want to be with my TF mainly because our energy was just TOO strong. It was intense and he really has no drive in life. He's spiritual but he is lost within it.. with out a drive for much more than the basic life. My husband has alot of drive and our relationship is balanced. We fit well together.

As for working with my TF, I have to be honest with you and tell you that there is no way that I could work with him. Again the passion, the pull, the desire, the energy.. it's just TOO strong and it's consuming. I literally would not be able to handle it. You try to control it but you can't.

As for your wifes crying. I also cried for a month straight.. and still 7 years later I cry sometimes.. when I am alone and I think of him. I don't want him.. but its my soul that misses him, its truly beyond my understanding.
I've given up trying to understand it. I've let it go. The feelings come and I let them pass over me ...

[JozefMera]

Thank you, Sarian, to not sugar coat things you say. As I mentioned earlier I value honesty, open and direct communication. There's more than enough hiding and stepping on heels around us so at least here be honest. It will be 13 years in summer from our wedding. We've known each other for 18 years. I know about this guy for almost 2 years. When I read some comments on this forum how strong are emotions to TFs... I would like to be optimistic. I also understand that this path is different for each individual. Although there are some similarities like phases of "being in love" phase, then some rejection, then getting closer again etc. At least this gives me some insight what can be happening inside my wife. As she is pretty much open but there are also things she is hiding from me because she doesn't want to hurt me. Somehow I feel those things and my assumptions are much worse than the reality she faces me when I ask (sometimes even beg for speaking). What is interesting that even assumptions are worse - like they want to be together forever and always - when the reality comes here that she was texting with him... it's more painful in fact. She is not texting all the time and not always under my nose. It was much worse before our 3 week separation. It was literally always and no matter where. We were together on lunch and she had phone on ranging each time and it really drove me crazy. I tried to set boundaries. No texting in evenings as I supposed it was our time. It worked for few days then it started to be limitation for her. Yes I feel like I was trying to control the situation and it was only worse.

Working together. This is not something that "will" happen. There is no plan or something like that. It was her vision. She has some insights of future from time to time. And when she shared this she also expressed how great that would be. And I'm trying to fit myself in that vision. Can I be happy when she is the majority of the entire time with him. Very hard. Then I realised this is not happening and maybe will never be happening so I'm worrying about possible future potential that could never happen. So I'm trying to live the present and enjoy moments right here right now. It's nice, until I hear or see his name again. Then I need to deal with the mind again. Or is it even only mind? Because I feel it all in my heart.

I think I'm starting to understand what the seminar facilitator meant by not being with the woman appreciating full my potential... I can imagine it can be much easier to be with a women whithout another strong interest. But there are always two sides of the coin. Easier still doesn't mean better, and better is still relative :).

Jatd, I was not spiritual at all when we met. She was catholic. I was questioning her believes sometimes not nicely. After a few years I had my first manic episode that gave me the real feel experience there is something more than what we see, touch, hear... It was very strong and very hard for both of us. Unfortunately it repeated 3 more times. My family was involved in what should be done and how. And how she does things wrong. I standed on my family side and then tried to make an agreement between the two parties. It was very hard. And during that time we hardly had time to laugh, love, smile, fun, joy... So understandably she started to be open to the other relationship. Unfortunately he really came and this is what we have now. When I was on the other side of the planet for 3 weeks she had her dark night of the soul. She told me it was the hardest time of her life so far. And that I should be thankful to HIM that he was talking to her on the phone to go home instead of doing something seriously stupid. I was angry, sad, something so serios is happening and he is there not me. He has "saved" her in this way several times. But his presence is the reason for all those feelings so who can speak about helping? I really don't get it.

I tried to fight this and it fought back. I need to change something. I can't change the situation I can only change what I do in the situation. I would like to know if I can change what I feel in this situation without changing it. The magical word "accept it" "let go". But there is no manual how to do that.

May I have another question? Rephrasing words of Sarian "she has two men, you have half a woman's love" do you think you are fully into your husband? Or is there something you are not 100% happy about and it's not possible to make it better? I like your "let it go, pass over me". Although I'm starting to realize how hard that has to be. Are you happy? I'm asking because I really don't want to be block is someone happiness. Even if my wife selected me, she wants both. So...? Is that what love is about? Miracles beyond our understanding?

My newest experience. Yesterday she told me, she has decided to not reply to his messages... for today. Should I be happy, I asked myself? Are my feelings just toy of hers when she decides to chat with him or see him or not? I haven't asked her about this yet because I just don't know if this is going to bring some englightement and closeness to us.

[JozefMera]

What about the unconditional love? I hear from my wife often that what she knows about TFs is that they are here to teach us unconditional love. Not only the pair but all around them. As so it seems to be true becasue I need to remove conditions if I want to be happy with her... Maybe I'm transforming my love. Maybe I'm changing what I supposed to be love and was an attempt to own to true love. But at the same time it's so painful. From what I read from your last comments it seemed as there was not much good. I only see TOO strong, ...

Did the TF experience teach you (the hard way) the unconditional love? So in the end made your life better?

Thank you.

[John32241]

Hi,

My TF experience taught me that our human views about unconditional love are retarded. We are all immortal spiritual beings. Every one of us is deeply connected to All That Is. That also includes each other in a very amplified way.

There can be no pain once these things are understood and part of your life.

John

[Sarian]

Originally Posted by Jatd

Let's see if I can answer all these questions and help you the best I can.

My husband knows OF the guy and he knew there was something crazy with us but he never really asked too much about it and so I didn't offer any information. I don't think he would believe me anyway. He's not spiritual at all and he would probably call me crazy lol. BUT I did meet my tf before him and I was with my TF while my husband and I were just friends (Before we married). He sort of watched from afar as we went our separate ways and I went into my descent of the dark night of the soul (Which was so painful) but also a beautiful bright beginning to a new life as I came out the other side.

So, I don't want to be with my TF mainly because our energy was just TOO strong. It was intense and he really has no drive in life. He's spiritual but he is lost within it.. with out a drive for much more than the basic life. My husband has alot of drive and our relationship is balanced. We fit well together.

As for working with my TF, I have to be honest with you and tell you that there is no way that I could work with him. Again the passion, the pull, the desire, the energy.. it's just TOO strong and it's consuming. I literally would not be able to handle it. You try to control it but you can't.

As for your wifes crying. I also cried for a month straight.. and still 7 years later I cry sometimes.. when I am alone and I think of him. I don't want him.. but its my soul that misses him, its truly beyond my understanding.
I've given up trying to understand it. I've let it go. The feelings come and I let them pass over me ...

Jatd, you have a very interesting/unique story. Have you ever posted about it here that I can read. I admire your strength and your recognition.