Positive Vs Negative!!

Hi everyone,

I try and mostly succeed in being very positive daily in everything.
I say thank you 1000 times a day for even the smallest little things like tho birds singing and the beautiful day etc.

Then I have a friend who is so negative. His first call is to me most morning and it starts like this.
Do you have any idea how &*&^ my day is, and it just gets worse after that. He never has a good thing to say. It's one negative flow everyday.
He would probably win the lotto and complain that it was not big enough, it should have been double that.

Yet he has 100 times more than what I have.
I drive an Old Car (Very Old) - He has 2 cars very new, always have money to buy things and eat out.

My Question and this makes me negative.
Here I am doing my best to be spiritually connected and happy to see some results.

He does everything the opposite and gets results every time round.


How does this work, it does not comply with what we here try to believe.

Some people thrive on things others don't. Everyone is different.

I prefer to accept others for who they are and let them learn in whatever way works best for them.

If I were you I would ask - Why do I have a problem with him and how is he affecting me?

Ok that makes sense.

What I've learned from this friendship is:

People who always complain about how bad things are going, use that to get what they want cheaper or Free.
As he does with me, Please fix my computer but I don't have money because things are so bad.
He thrives on the fact that he gets away with things easier and cheaper cause everyone thinks he is struggling.

I like him and he can be fun to have as a friend some days, but this negativity and playing on my feelings does not go down well anymore after 4 years.
Basically to the point where I've told him not to phone me again. But these type of people are thick skinned. They don't give up.

I don't like judging people but in this case I have no other option.
I told him straight:
If you do something to someone first put yourself in their shoes, If it was done to you and you don't like it, then don't do it to them.

Should I just cut him out of my life.

[Westleigh]

Hi a1966s,

I guess you are asking about the law of attraction, and wondering why he isn't attracting negative things to himself?

This is more about your inner expectations. It sounds like this person has very high expectations of life. Essentially, he expects to have everything given to him on a golden platter, and complains if it arrives on a silver one. Yet, despite his complaints, his inner expectations are that life will provide for him, that is what is happening. Whereas in your case, perhaps despite all of your positive thoughts you have some inner beliefs which are keeping abundance from coming to you ("scarcity thinking", as some LoA material calls it), though that doesn't mean that the positivity is not helping you! It does mean you should try to seek out such beliefs and heal them - have you tried affirmations or energy healing techniques such as EFT around this subject?

You don't necessarily have to cut him out of your life entirely, but perhaps spend less time around this person if you think he is having a negative effect on your life or spiritual growth.

What one has materially does not necessarily coincide with the spiritual.

nightowl

So, you have a problem with him because you are jealous of his wealth and ease of living and because he is dishonest to others?

And this makes you feel bad about yourself and you feel your way of life in comparison to his is unfair?

I'm just trying to get to the root of the situation so I can understand it better before giving any advice. After all, I do not know you or him, so I won't make assumptions until I know all I possibly can.

[blackraven]

Originally Posted by a1966s

Hi everyone,

I try and mostly succeed in being very positive daily in everything.
I say thank you 1000 times a day for even the smallest little things like tho birds singing and the beautiful day etc.

Then I have a friend who is so negative. His first call is to me most morning and it starts like this.
Do you have any idea how &*&^ my day is, and it just gets worse after that. He never has a good thing to say. It's one negative flow everyday.
He would probably win the lotto and complain that it was not big enough, it should have been double that.

Yet he has 100 times more than what I have.
I drive an Old Car (Very Old) - He has 2 cars very new, always have money to buy things and eat out.

My Question and this makes me negative.
Here I am doing my best to be spiritually connected and happy to see some results.

He does everything the opposite and gets results every time round.


How does this work, it does not comply with what we here try to believe.

a1966s - I guess the first thing I want to say is you can never have any control over how other people react or act in their own environments. You, however, do have control as to how you react or act in reference to how you treat that person or behave after being in contact with them. Find a means to come back to yourself, center yourself and just be concerned with spiritual awareness (your own). If you do that and be genuine, your attitude will wear off on the other person. But more importantly, you are guarding yourself from destruction by association to negativity. Learn to shield and protect yourself and after contact with a negative person, shake it off by meditating or go for a brisk walk or shower. I think Medium Laura has some good shielding and cleansing techniques that she can share with you. Anyway, if you are really concerned with this person's spiritual development you won't reject him, but will teach him through example.

Blackraven

He succeeds on material matters, you, on the other hand, succeed on spiritual matters. It's not the car we drive that makes us humans, it is our soul. I believe you are higher than him if you look at it that way, I can tell because you say you're an optimistic person. If you think life is better for him, ask yourself if you are happy. You said you enjoy every small beautiful thing in life. He's got money, cars, great food and all he wants, but still he sais his life is I-don't-know-how. My guess is that you are a lot happier than he is. I don't know if I have the proper age to assume that life is not about money and co., but about soul, but still I risk and say it.Please, tell me if I'm wrong with what I said :)

OK I see what you are getting at........to get 'stuff' simply means that you are open to getting 'stuff'....that you have no counter beliefs operating against your affirmations.....thats the rub.
The other rub is that as was expressed..... materialistic gain is not a given for a spiritual life. that your path may choose to either include it or exclude it.

If you’ve told him to not contact you, do you talk to him when he calls? If so, this is reinforcing his calling & being a voluntary doormat. The next time he calls you could simply tell him matter of factly, but blandly, that you told him to stop calling & you meant it, then hang up. Don't argue or wait for a response. Afterwards, just hang up when you realize it is him.

If he is calling on a land line, an answering machine is really cheap & invaluable in dealing w/ people like this & telemarketers. If your land line shows his # don’t pick up. With a cell phone one can usually see the incoming #.

It isn’t being harshly & inappropriately judgmental to assess that you don’t want to put up w/ him for whatever reason. You seem to be somewhat ambivalent about this though as you state you’ve told him not to call, but also ask if you ‘Should I just cut him out of my life.’

Why do you feel he is required to be positive? It seems he is irking you. Why are you letting him have this power over you to affect your tranquility???