Why do i sabotage myself?

[lemex]

Originally Posted by Nature Grows

I have also done the same as you OP, i have pushed people away before when i didn't want to and destroyed relationships as well, i will not do that again though, unless i want too. There was another thread i read by imawonderer recently saying she did not trust her boyfriend so they broke up, kinda similar to this and her star sign is Scorpio, it says on her profile, i think if i remembered correctly you Brucely are also Scorpio and so am i, sometimes it can be hard for us to trust people it seems, we need to let the people we are getting close with know this maybe, or tell them you want to get to know them well first... or just get to know them without saying that... But Brucely now that you know what you did wrong (not wrong you just didn't like the outcome) this time, you can make sure you don't do it again next time.

Nice posts from others too. Also Brucely did you try saying sorry for whatever you said that made the person upset?

Nice! I'm like this to now.

[7luminaries]

Brucely the suggestions here seem very solid. I would just add not to overly blame yourself. If others expect instant confirmation or constant affirmation, l would say that is way too needy and exhausting for long term upkeep.

Those who flip on a switch were probably not genuine to begin with, in many cases. And if they were looking for something more physical or casual then it is not surprising that they moved on immediately when you didn't respond a certain way or within a narrow timeframe.
It's not like either of you could know anything much about one another based on initial flirtation aside from willingness to proceed on the physical basis.

So what could you really have done that was so wrong that you would be ignored on follow-up? I wouldn't assume there was anything on your part that needs changed necessary.

So l would relax even further into who you are and express yourself and your interests in others and the world around you, from there. And otherwise don't sweat it

Peace and blessings
7L

[ocean breeze]

The lesson of this thread is.........avoid relationships with Scorpio's. If you are going out with someone, right away ask for their star sign and if they say Scorpio then immediately walk out without saying a word. The key is to beat them to the punch. Sabotage the relationship before they do it to you.

[Brucely]

Thank you all for these good replies, i always think my mind is 'there' but then things like this put me off. I guess we're always having to learn about ourselves and dealing with new situations

[Nature Grows]

Originally Posted by ocean breeze

The lesson of this thread is.........avoid relationships with Scorpio's. If you are going out with someone, right away ask for their star sign and if they say Scorpio then immediately walk out without saying a word. The key is to beat them to the punch. Sabotage the relationship before they do it to you.

lol...

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by ocean breeze

The lesson of this thread is.........avoid relationships with Scorpio's. If you are going out with someone, right away ask for their star sign and if they say Scorpio then immediately walk out without saying a word. The key is to beat them to the punch. Sabotage the relationship before they do it to you.

Indeed, Scorpio can be a difficult sign. The symbol of the scorpion with the sting in its tail is appropriate, and it is the nature of the scorpion to sting. But Scorpio also governs the path of spiritual discipleship (hence the many difficulties faced by disciples), and the higher symbol of Scorpio is the soaring eagle. So as disciples on the spiritual journey, whatever our individual practices, our task is to rise above the stinging scorpion of the lower nature to identify with the soaring eagle. But the eagle is still a predatory creature and Scorpio has a still higher symbol, that of the phoenix which is consumed by fire and then rises anew from its own ashes. This is our journey.

Peace.

[blackraven]

Originally Posted by Brucely

I feel like whenever something good happens or when i meet someone new, i subconsciously push them away. This really gets me down as it happened recently. Everything goes good then i say or do something thoughtless and it ruins the relationship. somebody went from saying they love me in a flirty way to completly ignoring me

Ive been trying my best, i see myself as wise but then something like this happens and it ruins everything. What can i do? How can i change?

Hi Brucely. From a purely psychological aspect, people often self-sabotage in order to have control over a negative outcome they believe will happen. For example, if I believe I'm not deserving of good relationships or for others to love me (because of past painful and disappointing experiences), I might keep walking away from friendships or love relationships in the midst of them getting started before the other has time to leave me first.

[Sojourner2013]

Originally Posted by blackraven

Hi Brucely. From a purely psychological aspect, people often self-sabotage in order to have control over a negative outcome they believe will happen. For example, if I believe I'm not deserving of good relationships or for others to love me (because of past painful and disappointing experiences), I might keep walking away from friendships or love relationships in the midst of them getting started before the other has time to leave me first.

Hi Brucely,

I agree with blackraven's explanation. Self-sabotage = avoiding rejection. Look into why you are so fearful of rejection. Typically stems from painful childhood experiences. Then start embracing rejection, small steps. Ask the waiter for his great pen. He says no. Rejection. Do little steps to build up your internal resilience to rejection. Soon enough, rejection will be like water off a duck's back!

Best wishes!

Originally Posted by Brucely

I feel like whenever something good happens or when i meet someone new, i subconsciously push them away. This really gets me down as it happened recently. Everything goes good then i say or do something thoughtless and it ruins the relationship. somebody went from saying they love me in a flirty way to completly ignoring me

Ive been trying my best, i see myself as wise but then something like this happens and it ruins everything. What can i do? How can i change?

Maybe you don’t need to change.
Maybe you self sabotage for good reasons.
Maybe a part of you knows better than the rest of you that whatever you’re sabotaging isn’t for you and part of the plan?

I feel very strongly Those that are in my life and those that come in and stay are meant for me. They never get me to overthink my own actions with them. If anything they trigger me to be my unhindered self more than anything else. Their crazy is fully compatible with mine.