Please....

[lomax]

Here's another thing to try.

Find the fifth pentacle of mars (the one with the scorpion),print it,and redraw the lines and letters with red ink.I've heard from others that it's very effective against negativity and demons.(If you can draw it your self it's even better).
They place it on windows,or doors.

I'm not sure if it's going to work,since i doubt if you're dealing with external entities but it wouldn't hurt to try it.

[SikuX]

It's brief but the facade lowered itself during mass confusion and internal heartache just now. Multiple possessive entities that steer my thoughts in different directions. I am stating what I have while I still can. I now again remember having my brain invaded by something external during a careless astral experience with a orgone pyramid. And my third eye purposely and carefully blocked. They're very much internal now. How or why, I do not know. I am no longer here to argue philosophy or beliefs, I don't have enough of my self to even do so anymore. Forced stubbornness and lack of passion. I'm just spiritually exhausted now....

If anyone knows what I'm dealing with and can remotely help before I get "spirit drunk" again and forget it all to get relief with temporary relief from with high vibrations again, please do PM me. I'm a willful and nothing to hide, guinea pig. Self-discovery only leads to more self-awareness of them. No clear indicator if they'll ever leave because they're not all negative. I've helped some change for the better. I do want to be stuck with them though.

It's as-if my subconscious has been hijacked to over-rule my main conscious. Simply going to my higher consciousness for relief does not cure me of my hijacked lower. Hence the cycle and struggle.

This light and dark dynamic using me as a host has taken over my life. Giving me personality traits I've never had. Entirely. Unhealthy obsessions, etc. Every day I keep being fed it's everything but possession. Feeding me old emotions and hope I latch onto them and "forget" this realization ever happened.

I am not angry, I am not anything. I feel nothing when this happens. They're so used to sharing parts of me, they don't know how to "not" pretend to be me any longer. Forget vicarious, they feel what I feel and steal it with ease and carelessness. They've camped up and put down bed sheets and made themselves at home after carefully making me avoiding their strong and over-bearing existence for too long.

Why would spirits or the meta be this selfish? Quit going through me like a revolving door. :(

Hoping a legitimate Shaman who can reassure me contacts me. Otherwise, I'll continue to forcibly be someone I'm not, as I have been, meanwhile. It's either that or confusion and pain in my frontal lobe area if any of them cannot sit comfortably again. I guess preferably the entity that prefers light and love. Which I would love to call an angel, but why forcibly be in me then? This is absolutely absurd..... Do they not have outlets to argue outside of people?! Why are we used to wage their wars, strong need to be heard, known to exist, or envious of our pleasures....

These "gifts" of self-awareness do not stop and it's at the absolute cost of losing large chunks of myself. I'm most certainly starting to believe more in religion and constant spiritual wars waged over the **** I deal with in here lol. *facepalm*

What I do feel is, I can't help but feel like my "leading by example" approach has attuned me to be a teacher without bias for the light to get through to the dark. Hate saying it like that but it's the most laments term I can explain for it. I gratefully accept that calling for people, not divinity or the unknown that wish to devalue me just so they don't look bad. Someone's awfully afraid of the truth and strong cult followers in here. My goodness....

Is this a normal and comparable experience for shamans before they become one? I wonder. And am I going to go through significant psychic attacks (again) for daring to say these things? We shall see.

[LadyMay]

I am going to PM you.

I'm sorry it must be tormenting. There's no pressure to pretend anything, this is what's happening for you. Those are great questions and I have faith that they will be answered for you.

I wish I could help. I'm here with you.

[SikuX]

I apologize, while I appreciate the concern and quick support. I didn't intend on being so dramatic or cause any large alarm and concern. Although your bit about "no pressure to pretend anything" definitely helps and is a welcoming breathe of fresh air from the usual feelings of alienation or questions following my questions. That sort of support, I'm extremely grateful for.

I'm still rather level-headed at my core despite how all of that sounded and I continue to sound. Think of it as idling hands or idle thinking that needs out maybe. The self-awareness of being outside yourself can make me depressed at time. Tries to breed hopelessness. I'm not declining in comparison to me on here lately, I assure you, but rather observing and noting it all. I just needed to get it on paper, if you will. Coming out from that, I feel a sense of calm and an odd feeling of feeling older than I am. Haha. Perhaps I just needed to vent it out, or some of it has left. Or, I'm un-aware I'm absorbing help of some sort. Just trying to keep an open mind here as this is new. Very new.

Sorry, thinking out loud here. :)

Let's see if I hold onto this and feel other things as well, gradually. I just generally would like some "normalcy" back and re-integrate myself back to society securely. Makes me want to hasten this entire process so I can go back to being my entirely self-sustaining. self, again.

I hate to be a hindrance here and normally do not like attention unless it's over-ruled by a significant need. I like being on the giving end, not the receiving end. ;) Sorry for any large concern. Thank you again!

[lomax]

@Sikux

Try again a bath with bay leave water,but this time ensure that the water will touch all parts of your body.
(Just found out that it plays a large role).

[SikuX]

Originally Posted by lomax

@Sikux

Try again a bath with bay leave water,but this time ensure that the water will touch all parts of your body.
(Just found out that it plays a large role).

Hey, friend! Hope all is well with you these days. Yes, even showers or any dealing with water seem to bring out buried things in me and help either address them or cleanse me some. I hope you've been experiencing the same. :)

The newest. I now identify as an Mirror Empath. Most suitable and just identifiying as one has helped me very significantly. Instead of wearing others' vibes and thinking it's me carelessly. Like I'm constantly doing ego death for others hating myself for still having one. If that makes any sense. :P More-so the last 24 hours where I finally cleansed myself enough to feel the truth of it. Separating and slowing down some of these constant influxing of energies that enter me. Constant cleansing and aura work has finally started to get me feeling truly grounded and able to feel 'myself' finally. I apparently have many cording to people that miss me and I'm capable of feeling them when they are attracted to or think of me. Think, unknowing psychic abilities of many. Possibility their higher consciousnesses that are lost trying to sync with their egos, so instead they are lost and speak to me? Think spiritual illnesses if you will.

Not trying to sound egotistic, but I am very much loved by many and because of said abilities, I needed isolation and left all my friends behind. So, it very much all makes sense and why I randomly would feel guilty and think of old friends with no rational thought. And if I am around someone who opens up to me greatly, I unwillingly cord with them and feel what they feel strongly. I end up mirroring them if they are very troubled or carelessly not taking care of their auras or problems.

I am like a vacuum that's always on, absorbing those that formed very strong bonds with me. I naturally transmute, and I must have become corded to some one that very much needed me very badly that had very strong spiritual abilities and mental illnesses.

Things are much better these days. I don't have many episodes so long as I take care of my aura and self-identify strongly. The cords are very much still there and I am still taking the "love you to death" or raise them alongside with me, approach. Unless there is severe energy trying to influence me against my best divinity, then I feel the need to cut them. Lol.

Thanks again to all that has contributed in this thread and has supported me. I hope all are well. I wish you all the best.

[one-light]

SikuX you sound so much better or getting there shall we say - you've learned so much 'and' ive noticed you helping others - thats so nice to see you doing that with wise words as well... People get in battles in life they know nothing compared with what you've gone through - so well done you for getting through to now... And i'm impressed you mention aura, so many people forget its even there...

This thread is a message to anyone struggling with any difficult issues - get help and get it sorted - there is a way... none of this ending it business its 'not the way' - make it work look for the light...

[LadyMay]

Hi Sikux, you're very clearly a classic empath. You feel like a sponge yes? Experiencing the feeling of people thinking of you is very common to me. I don't know if other empaths experience the same thing. I always know when someone is going to message me something important, as I can feel it. I wasn't in contact with my mother for two months. I felt nothing... suddenly an entire week I felt unease and longing. I got a message from her that week. It's been the same with me with everyone I have attachments to, I've known it since I was 19 when it first happened with an unrequited love I had not heard from her for like half a year, she'd blocked me everywhere. I felt nothing (again, as usual, I tend to feel nothing unless it's other people's stuff). Then one day I very intensely could not stop thinking of her. That night I got a message. I was dumbfounded. That was just after my awakening. I very quickly learned to take heed of it. Even if I don't get a message I know well enough that specific feeling that they're at least thinking of me.

Untangling your own emotions from others takes some work, but you sound like you're really doing well with it and finding yourself more centred and grounded as a result. I certainly remember that feeling. When I slip, I always take time to ground out all the trash from my system into mother earth as an offering. It's amazing how much of it isn't mine.

[SikuX]

Originally Posted by one-light

SikuX you sound so much better or getting there shall we say - you've learned so much 'and' ive noticed you helping others - thats so nice to see you doing that with wise words as well... People get in battles in life they know nothing compared with what you've gone through - so well done you for getting through to now... And i'm impressed you mention aura, so many people forget its even there...

This thread is a message to anyone struggling with any difficult issues - get help and get it sorted - there is a way... none of this ending it business its 'not the way' - make it work look for the light...

As usual, very observant, supportive and mindful. I can say the very same about you, friend. You always help raise others, including myself. Very much and very kindly so.

Indeed. Not feeling or being aware of one's aura is often a sign of a weak or unhealthy aura. Not to intentionally sound narrow-minded, or sure of myself - strong observation from my own personal awareness and perception has lead me to such conclusion. We do, or believe in, whatever works best for us after all.

Hmm, as I read and begin to type all that, I'm feeling some of you perhaps. You're extremely wise, and for whatever reason, shivering like you're cold in your bones and need some warmth. Haha! Hope you're keeping warm. Sending some warm energy your way or whoever I felt, in hopes you or they feel it.
Thank you for always being supportive. LOVE the epilogue you've added.

Originally Posted by LadyMay

Hi Sikux, you're very clearly a classic empath. You feel like a sponge yes? Experiencing the feeling of people thinking of you is very common to me. I don't know if other empaths experience the same thing. I always know when someone is going to message me something important, as I can feel it. I wasn't in contact with my mother for two months. I felt nothing... suddenly an entire week I felt unease and longing. I got a message from her that week. It's been the same with me with everyone I have attachments to, I've known it since I was 19 when it first happened with an unrequited love I had not heard from her for like half a year, she'd blocked me everywhere. I felt nothing (again, as usual, I tend to feel nothing unless it's other people's stuff). Then one day I very intensely could not stop thinking of her. That night I got a message. I was dumbfounded. That was just after my awakening. I very quickly learned to take heed of it. Even if I don't get a message I know well enough that specific feeling that they're at least thinking of me.

Untangling your own emotions from others takes some work, but you sound like you're really doing well with it and finding yourself more centred and grounded as a result. I certainly remember that feeling. When I slip, I always take time to ground out all the trash from my system into mother earth as an offering. It's amazing how much of it isn't mine.

Sounds awfully familiar. Indeed! Kinda sucks but also amazing how much we're energy workers or trash cans, depending on how one looks at it.

Used to brush off such things as coincidences or get so caught up in a sea of people that you don't connect those feelings upon actual 3D contact. Mighty interesting and totally turns one's world upside down upon finally being able to properly translate foreign energies. It also reveals further truth about people in it's wake, if you were to strongly absorb with curiosity. I suppose long term absorption paired with a heightened awareness is traits of a healthy and most importantly, a mature empath. We should count our dealings with toxic energy as lessons and hidden blessings. <3

Most certainly helps with our inevitable loneliness knowing there are others going through the same and are more or less, similar, at their cores. I greatly appreciate you sharing. It takes a load off, and I'd like to think it boosts both of our auras and vibrations. I certainly felt that way today after speaking with you. If I were to be so bold, you have very strong love vibrations that feel like they want to burst out and be heard. Hope you find the perfect outlet that matches that enthusiasm. Or perhaps, I'm just projecting. Lolol. Many thanks to you as well for your continued support. I think we're both entirely too mindful of each others' feelings when typing. Here's to hoping things lighten over time. Cheers! Always enjoy your input and acceptance.

Forgive me if my reading is off, just blurting out as I feel it. Stretching the muscles in a sense . Get it, "sense"? Haha. /dork