Is there such a thing as "fault"

Hi forum,

Working on self-forgiveness... Accepted that nothing is/was my fault. Reasons of faults are uncontrollable inputs from life...

Now whenever I realize that I am judging a thought I stop and say it is not my "fault", I don't even know why I have this thought. It works! I forget the issue immediately and move on. Doesn't mean I am not sorry for what happened, but not my "fault".

However, now I am wondering if there is such thing as "fault". I would say that with the above reasoning there is not.

What do you think?

3dnow

[BlueSky]

I have hurt people in my life and I have been at fault. Sorry I can't apply your line of reasoning to my reality.
James

Originally Posted by WhiteShaman

I have hurt people in my life and I have been at fault. Sorry I can't apply your line of reasoning to my reality.
James

OK but I want you forgive yourself what about me? (I have no idea why)

I have also hurt my ex girl friend for example. I took alcohol and insulted her. She cried and ran away.

Now looks like accusing myself is a good idea. But it is not. My ex doesn't even remember the issue its was 15 years ago. How to forgive myself? What is the excuse? There is only one and very good excuse. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY THIS HAPPENED. (not because of alcohol it was just one beer).
It was a random accident caused by previous events in my life, how they were interpreted in my brain, etc. When you look this way it is impossible to judge me neither. In addition, when you accept this you can easily apply to others and stop judging them. Impossible to judge.

3dnow

[BlueSky]

Originally Posted by 3dnow

OK but I want you forgive yourself what about me? (I have no idea why)

I have also hurt my ex girl friend for example. I took alcohol and insulted her. She cried and ran away.

Now looks like accusing myself is a good idea. But it is not. My ex doesn't even remember the issue its was 15 years ago. How to forgive myself? What is the excuse? There is only one and very good excuse. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY THIS HAPPENED. (not because of alcohol it was just one beer).
It was a random accident caused by previous events in my life, how they were interpreted in my brain, etc. When you look this way it is impossible to judge me neither. In addition, when you accept this you can easily apply to others and stop judging them. Impossible to judge.

3dnow

We can judge ourselves with compassion and understanding and sympathy but in the end I am responsible for my actions.
I hear what you are saying though and it is obvious in extreme cases such as a young girl being sexually abused her whole life. She may not be strong enough as a result to not act the same way as she gets older but that is the extreme. In essence she never had a chance and maybe those who abused her never did either. I can only speak for myself on this..............I know better so therefore I am responsible.

Originally Posted by WhiteShaman

We can judge ourselves with compassion and understanding and sympathy but in the end I am responsible for my actions.
... I can only speak for myself on this..............I know better so therefore I am responsible.

You are right about taking responsibility, but this doesn't mean that we don't move past it to having complete respect for self. We all make mistakes, & some of them are real whoppers!!! This is just exploring our humanity. Even while we are appreciating that we have not make the best possible choice we can still do so from a position of self respect.

[Mathew James]

Originally Posted by 3dnow

...I took alcohol and insulted her. She cried and ran away.

....it was just one beer).

It was a random accident caused by previous events in my life, how they were interpreted in my brain, etc. When you look this way it is impossible to judge me neither. In addition, when you accept this you can easily apply to others and stop judging them. Impossible to judge.

It was surely not the alcohol, you would need about 10 more drinks in you to have a real good drunk being an idiot event. So forget about it being alcohol related. Sounds like there was a series of events in your life that gives you a reason to feel guilty about. Where you judged by people about something and you know you were guilty?


mj

Originally Posted by WhiteShaman

I have hurt people in my life and I have been at fault. Sorry I can't apply your line of reasoning to my reality.
James

That you have had the self awareness where you realize that other options would have been desirable w/ those you’ve hurt is wisdom & productive growth.

It isn’t necessary to label your self as permanently bad though in this process. What would be problematic is if you hurt others & didn’t realize that your actions weren’t a good choice. Appreciate this, then clear the slate. Have patience & compassion for your self’s journey.

Originally Posted by mattie

What would be problematic is if you hurt others & didn’t realize that your actions weren’t a good choice.

Hmm. So you do it again.

I say still not your fault. Because if you don't realize your fault, this is because your mind, the result of everything you experienced, is not capable of doing it.

So still not guilty.

3dnow

[Shabda]

i also dont agree with the line of reasoning...the way i see it, random, or at least seemingly random events occur in life, but then the individual choose how to react to, or act upon, whichever set of circumstances, and the choice we make may seem random, but are still courses of action chosen by ourselves, so who else can possibly be at fault for those choices? they cant be simply random because we chose those actions....for myself, there has never been an occurrence in life where i couldnt have chosen a different, and perhaps better, or more beneficial course of action.

[Internal Queries]

the only thing guilt is good for is to create an aversion to repeating mistakes. one can accept that one made a mistake ie was at fault and then move on from there. just don't do it again. guilt lesson completed. problem solved.