Should I trust my intuition?

[SaturninePluto]

Hi everyone.

The past week has been an amazing week, but I have found it strong intuitively.

I for the last week had been house watching and pet sitting at my brother's house him at a friend's island camp. Alone, by myself, away for the week from my immediate live in family. I wanted to use this time as a small spiritual, meditative retreat.

It started one morning I walked to the beach just down the street- in search of shells and sea wood or bark for incense supply. I picked up four small shells, I did not find any large ones to use as burners, and a bit of bark from driftwood- burned.

On my way I picked a bit of rose hips from a couple bushes near the walkway to the beach.

A neighbor of my brother had given me some spearmint this morning and I wanted the rose hips to have two types of tea after researching Japanese tea ceremony, and feeling a calling to write up my own form of tea ceremony.

I got everything home to my brother's, taken care of and put away.

I read more on spirituality. During this whole time I had felt connected strongly to ancestors- namely my grandmother and cousin both passed from my mother's side.

I was called to practice reading a deck of playing cards later that evening as tarot, as this is a way my grandmother taught me.

I remember seeing next to a female face card the number 3. And two number 10's below- pair of tens. I remember feeling the ten's to be my parents. I had the thought of-something happening at 3 the next day- then had the thought- chances are dad will go and get into an accident or something- then I quickly felt bad for having the thought.

The next day around 3 pm I was cooking, trying to get dinner ready and the breaker went out- I messaged my father to ask if he could, bring me over something back up for dinner and he informed me he had just been in a car accident. He is alright. This scared me- hearing of this- I can not afford to lose my loved one's at this time- especially emotionally, we have lost many already.

Next morning I had a very odd dream. Within the dream my mother was chatting away at me about a tv show she was interested in. Thirty minutes after awakening from this dream- stuck with me- my mother called me informing me a favorite show of both of ours is to be coming out with a new season in fall- October.

I found this odd.

I went in the living room, decided to check on the rose hips I had to ripen more on the sill- and got the feeling- my brother- was going to need them- he messed himself up on the island- was the thought.

My brother returned home wrecked- his hemorrhoid- out of his body- his back end- and inflamed- he came home in excruciating pain.

When I returned home I looked into rose hip and have so far found one property listing for inflammatory issues.

Excuse my language here but Damn.

I am not sure if any of this actually is my intuition/ communicating with the spirit world at all anymore.

I am not sure what this is that is happening to me. I remember practicing a meditation/space clearing combination at my brothers- the meditation did not last long and was zazen like- silent- no envisioning.

And I have been getting intuitive guidances since. In relation not only to happenings around me but also to inclinations of which subjects of spirituality to study- I will be led to read something that helps me in my own practice of faith.

I was walking to the beach and thinking about how all the Canadian's around on vacation are speaking French Canadian, and feeling like I wish I could speak it more fluent- then thinking about my grandmother who was French Canadian and could speak it fluently.

This is when I got to the walkway to the beach I noticed a small free library in a box- a small free book deposit and take glass box there before the walk to the beach. I looked inside and found a English-French dictionary, French- English dictionary.

I remember finding it uncanny.

I do not know what to think about all this right now. I am stressed and worried about my brother, at the moment I still have the rose-hips in the drying process, they will not be ready for a drink made up for a few days yet.

Then there is trying to crush them into a fine enough powder- and even if I manage to make it back over to my brother's- to get him to drink it- and that is assuming he is still inflamed.

I may divvy up some powder and give it to him to have on his own sometime when I see him for this problem. I know this is not the first time this has happened to him.

Rose hip may help him greatly, and he doesn't even know it- I have trouble getting in touch with him, and even a harder time convincing him of anything.

Should I trust that this is my intuition speaking to me? Can I trust my own intuition?

I do not like receiving bad news like this.

I do not understand right now how all this integrates within my own spiritual path. If I should try and continue to practice my gifts and develop them or not.

Simply wanted to share...

I could use some spiritual direction right now...