Angry at myself for liking guys who don't feel the same ..

[cutie]

Hello,

I'm single for years and never really been in a serious relationship. I have tried everything to attract a partner , visualizing , using the law of attraction ,being positive , letting go etc etc .Now I think it's a joke that I will ever find someone . Never mind , the reason I am angry at myself and the universe is because every time I end up liking / having crushes on guys who are unavailable or simply don't feel the same . Over the past few months , I have developed a crush on a guy , without even realizing it .It's because he is not the type of guy I normally feel drawn to . Unfortunately , I know he doesn't feel the same . This makes me really sad and angry . It hurts that I always have to forget guys I could see myself dating . I am used to single life but all this reminds me of what I don't have in life..I just don't understand why the universe makes me cross paths with guys I could never be with ...

Hey cutie!
I'm sorry you're experiencing such frustration in the dating world. In a way, I can relate. More in the sense that in my entire life, I've only ever met one person that I actually saw myself having a true connection with in that way but it didn't work out. I know there's this idea that there's a somebody for everybody and it may or may not be true. We're still alive though. And as long as you're on Earth the possibilities really are endless as to how someone could come into your life and change your world. It can be scary to think that we could end up going our entire lives and never finding that special someone, but maybe that won't be the case. Let's just wait and see!

[Captain]

Cutie it's time to shift your perspective because you are being way too hard on yourself. It's like this in reality without your filter:

It's healthy to have little crushes here and there, it keeps your juices flowing, reminds you you are alive and full of love. Secret crushes simply keep your mind busy, help keep you from feeling alone and fill a little space in your heart until the right one comes along.

Please don't judge that you don't have a partner. Now's a great time to do your spiritual work, the type of work that is hard to do when you are in love. You can't push the river, just get on a raft, relax and enjoy the scenery. Besides relationships can be very draining. Think of this as a rejuvenation period. Work on your inner and outer beauty. Good luck and Namaste!

You've been trying very hard and the trouble with many of these "techniques" is that they don't guard you against expecting results. Then, when the desired results don't materialise, disappointment follows. (Lust for results, a sorcerer would call it. It's something we train ourselves to avoid at all costs.)

It's important to cultivate a disinterest. When you happen upon a man you feel that you like, deliberately remind yourself to be disinterested. Sure, be affable if you get a smile or a glance - smile back and leave it at that. Turn away and force yourself to think of something else.

We all have crushes at times and it's difficult if you really are short of dates but a distancing never hurts - you have to attract him too. It's a mating game and, like it or not, the man has to glean something about you from early impressions to which he might respond, he might not, so never appear too eager.

Ok, it's difficult to stifle emotions at times but, like I say, it's a game that's become part of our/your culture, so you should try. It may mean a slightly different slant of meditation. It may mean absorbing yourself in some interest well away from men and dating when you're at home alone, to take your mind off things and help null this expectation bias. If you are spiritually inclined it may be time to get to know yourself a little better to bring your emotions under control. Don't expect results immediately but patience will pay.

I hope you don't find this too down to earth but I tend to be practical. You may have to contemplate what you think makes you attractive and apply it. It concerns everything - how you present yourself above all and the signals you give out. If you're shy or awkward, it's worth focusing your affirmations on dealing with that.

Anyway, all the best.

♀

Originally Posted by cutie

Hello,

I'm single for years and never really been in a serious relationship. I have tried everything to attract a partner , visualizing , using the law of attraction ,being positive , letting go etc etc .Now I think it's a joke that I will ever find someone . Never mind , the reason I am angry at myself and the universe is because every time I end up liking / having crushes on guys who are unavailable or simply don't feel the same . Over the past few months , I have developed a crush on a guy , without even realizing it .It's because he is not the type of guy I normally feel drawn to . Unfortunately , I know he doesn't feel the same . This makes me really sad and angry . It hurts that I always have to forget guys I could see myself dating . I am used to single life but all this reminds me of what I don't have in life..I just don't understand why the universe makes me cross paths with guys I could never be with ...

Hi, cutie. My heart goes out to you. This is a really tough thing to grapple with.

Try hard to not see these experiences as reasons to respond with anger, but reasons to respond with self validation and a deepening of self love. That`s not always easy, I know. But it`s so worth the effort. And look at all the positive work you have been doing with law of attraction and visualizing! You've already been working on your spiritual development, despite these painful experiences!

The Universe, unfortunately, seems to work on its time schedule, not always on ours! I know this because there have been times I too have wanted things so badly and wanted them now.

It's common to get angry at ourselves for hoping for things we want really bad. It's as if we think, if we scold ourselves harshly enough, we'll stop hoping and trying ... and thus avoid the disappointment and hurt when things don't work out.

Also, please remember the Universe is not the only force at work here. We are talking about humans with free will and belief systems. We humans can be so complicated, confusing, and challenging too! We have all these rules and expectations around all aspects of our lives - and especially with romantic relationships.

Please turn your eyes back to within and see your worth and beauty beyond the limitations of human beliefs. This is important work - it is soul development work. At least that`s what I think our sorrows and trials are.

And it`s good to reach out to others and vent our frustrations. I know after I vent I always feel better and get back to business of living my life in a spiritually meaningful way. You so deserve the happiness you seek!

Hey Cutie,

I agree with every single response you have received. I do have a different thought though on this. With all the love you have inside I believe the Universe recognizes this and is not about to let you waste it on someone who is not worthy.

The Universe has no designs on your destruction only on your evolution to higher love that can be mutually given and shared.

All the best

[cutie]

Thanks so much everyone :) I am down in the dumps because of this situation. The universe shouldn't have made me cross paths with this person in the first place. And I just hate myself for noticing him . This has hurt me and makes me think I need to be more guarded . I will not notice any guy for a very long time once I get over this one .
I have been hoping to find a life partner like any normal girl . And now am in my early 30s , can't help but feel very disappointed . It's very hard to deal with this . Makes me wish I had never wanted a loving relationship in my life . Things would have been much simpler and it would have saved me from disappointment.

[John32241]

Hi,

I found some one to go on a mercy date with me when I turned 30 years old.

There are two factors as I see these things. We create our reality with our outlook on life for the most part. Then there is that divine factor where we are being blessed in some way with the circumstances you are describing.

In ether case your inner wisdom would have the best answers for you. Everything starts with a self love for all that you are including your divinity.

As you elevate your perceptions you will experience the consequences of that choice.

John

Originally Posted by cutie

...I am down in the dumps because of this situation. The universe shouldn't have made me cross paths with this person in the first place. ... I just hate myself for noticing him...This has hurt me...I will not...
I have been hoping to find a life partner like any normal girl .

Hi Cutie,

There is purpose in these challenges. They are opportunities to learn important lessons. Just to name a few:

>You are in reaction to what you are creating based on expectation. This is how most of humanity lives and it invariably leads to drama/struggle/disappointment. In reaction, you give away your power and let circumstances/unfoldings dictate your vibrational state - so, how you feel. Consider learning to balance maintain a vibrational state of your choosing - that is love-based, i.e. ease/well-being/pleased/open etc...

> You are giving lots of energy to what you feel you lack. You are capable/complete with or without an intimate partner - but you need to accept that as true for yourself - not just intellectually - you have to feel it. Don't fear that. Embrace it. And if being with someone is how you can best realize your greater objectives in this life, then that is what will unfold.

> Direct the love inward. The most attractive women are ones who have a healthy respect for themselves, who like themselves and who vibrate in ease/well-being and who can smile simply because life is good. A woman who vibrates in uncertainty/lack/neediness will repel most guys (except those who aren't interested in a meaningful relationship...). Consider taking the opportunity while you aren't in an intimate relationship to bring balance to your life/bodies (spiritual/mental/emotional/physical), clear the mental/emotional baggage and focus on cultivating in yourself the kinds of energies that are most important to you and that are key in order to develop meaningful/uplifting relationships in general i.e. sincerity/integrity/ease/kindness/fun etc...you will be able to bring a more masterful human into a relationship, and when you are no longer expecting, good matches will begin to gravitate into your life.

All the best,
*e

You are seeking meaning outside yourself. Find it within. Afterward you will radiate a beautiful spirit. This is very beautiful. The right men will begin to seek you.