resentment: how do you deal with it?

i am currently working on eliminating negative emotions (attempting to notice negative emotions and process them as they come up so they don't fester and create further problems).

i am very aware right now that i have a tendency towards harboring resentments.

what happens is that someone will say or do something that hurts me, slights me, or that i feel is somehow "unfair" and i get angry but cannot express the anger to the person for some reason (could be any number of reasons from it being really too trivial, or i don't have the kind of reciprocal relationship with the person that would allow that).

i am noticing that just noticing the anger when it arises and following my thought process is illuminating.

is anyone else working on this issue or is anyone aware of their anger on a daily basis and a tendency towards resentment and if so, what are you doing to deal with it so it does not poison you?

one thing that is helping me a little bit is realizing that i am not a victim of this cruel world and the people in it . . . that i have somehow orchestrated this experience for my learning . . . i feel GREAT resentment when i feel victimized or trapped by whatever and reminding myself of my core beliefs is helpful.

What I also try to remember if I feel resentful towards someone is that they are exactly as they should be and they are in my life because I need their lessons. They are just my good teachers.

Sometimes it works:) Bu I always try to remind myself of that.

you are very wise if you always do that. i hope to learn how to let go of beliefs that do not serve me and adopt more of those that do.

i seem to get angry very easily. some people are slow to anger or don't ever hardly experience it, which i envy but don't understand (another reason to be resentful!!!)

[Spiritlite]

when I feel resentment I forgive the other person in my heart, forgiving meaning for myself not them. I then pray for the other person as well as for me. I also do meditation daily where I breath in white light (good energy) and breathe out all the bad energy which I picture as cloudy smoke bad energy being anger, sadness etc of the day.
Spiritlite

[psychoslice]

By breathing out the bad energy you will only breath it back in again, try to breath in the bad energy and then breath it out as pure energy.

Anger is energy. Suck it down, spin it around and send it back out again. It's not the emotion that's negative but what you do with it.

I always try and contain what im feeling. I have an awful temper and always find it very difficult not to stand back and say 'just leave it alone'. I put this down to being bullied in school and never standing up for myself and having to learn to do so. In my tutor group at university there is one man who is twice my age and thinks that his opinion is the only right one and he will just talk right over you and interupt you when you are speaking. I hate this and find it difficult not to get in an argument with him and have managed not to up until Friday just gone. He did exactly the same as he always did, told me that all my work was wrong and talked over me and interupted me so i did the same back, and ended up having a full blown argument with him telling him how rude he was for acting the way he did. I felt so liberated for doing so and i got a round of applause from my class mates as they were all so fed up with it as well. However i wish i had just taken him aside and spoken to him about it rather than containing all the anger up inside.

My point is i think it is important to have a release for your anger instead of bottling it up until you burst..............this is something i am working on :)

[psychoslice]

One can be angry only if he is unaware. Try to be angry and aware together and you will find it impossible. Either you will be aware, then anger will not be found, or you will be angry and awareness will have disappeared. Up to now, nobody has been able to manage both together, and I don’t think you can prove the exception. Try it. It is possible you may think both are happening, but if you minutely watch you will see: when awareness is there anger is not, when anger is there awareness is not. Unawareness is the root of all illnesses; then awareness is the only medicine. Osho

I know when i am angry and i am aware that i am getting angrier and angrier however like you say will happen i find that if i dont get an outlet for it i just feel like im going to explode. My problem is i hate being walked over and feeling like i am being walked over. My sister walks all over me aswell and she is he only person i dont let the anger out to as i know it will end up with her hitting me like it has done in the past. It is something i am working on :)

[psychoslice]

No one can walk over you if you don't let them, tell your sister that she is not going to walk over you, ever again !, and mean it, just try it.