Hi, I think we talked about this before the site crashed, so forgive if I repeat myself.
The best way to move forward in your life is to begin to love and understand yourself, bad points and good. Any spiritual work is accompanied by a lot of inner work, which helps you to be a better person, to love yourself and others and to find the balance or creative spark you may be missing.
You asked if your own bitterness is creating negativity... well, what you put out comes back to you. If you are bitter about people, life, events etc, then you carry that in your energy and in your heart and that is what others pick up on, even unconsciously. It is my belief that fear of the 'paranormal', built on films, stories and experiences, can make premonitions feel negative because the person is already tuning into a 'lower' vibration or wavelength. I'm not blaming you here, but self-knowledge isn't always pleasant to digest. The good news is, you can move beyond that!!
Start to love yourself more... pamper yourself with small treats, catch yourself when a negative thought or word enters your mind or leaves your mouth and ask yourself - what can I replace this with, what is more positive and giving? You might want to investigate Emotional Freedom Technique or Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Or you might feel drawn to get some self-development cards and work with them for a while (it's how I started ;)). Look for some of the excellent uplifting self-development books which are around... in secondhand bookstores, libraries, etc. Go with what draws you, what feels
right for you.
It's like peeling the layers off an onion - they may make you cry and each one has its challenges, but as you do so, you get closer to the core of who you truly are... and that's a wonderful person.