A thread for the broken-hearted

[Kiran]

I am happy that you are using this thread to post your heartache.

Sending out love to all of you... hoping the pain will ease, someday!

seeems like people are really buying in to these things like: I will never leave you, I will always be by your side..

I can't believe in that, if I here it, I don't believe it.. People either grow apart, get in to argues and never want to see one again, people die or just leave cause you were a pain in their asses..

I don't know if I can ever trust anyone ever again. My heart and the trust was first broken at the age of 2.5 when my mother decided to give me away to another family where my brother already lived. She was ill. She couldn't take care of me. I fell in love at the age of 16, he went behind my back, lied to me and cheated on me and I felt very abandoned. I left him, couldn't get over the fact that he lied so I never trusted him again. Even though now, we would never be a good match, we've got nothing in common I think, so it's good that the relationship ended but I was going trough these awful feelings again. I didn't date after that. I didn't want to get in to a relationship ever again, I decided to be alone. I lived alone, 40 km from my parents. I moved out when I was 14, I rebelled at home and you could say that I had got rage problems at home. They took me to the mental hospital and I was there, locked in.. None of the nurses could believe it that I raged at home, they couldn't believe what my parents told them about the argues cause they thought my behavior was so good that the others in the hospital should take take after me...

I got out, but never moved back with my parents. I started in a new school in the city and life was lovely for a while with all the new nice friends and a completely new environment..

But I have been very lonely. I found someone this autumn. I had decided to try, to give a relationship a chance. And I found someone with whom I probably have a soul connection or soul contract or something like that. But I can only see the negative he does and even worse : what he doesn't do.. :S so I've showed him my bad behavior and played games and been jealous and haven't been able to trust in anything he has said. I can't give in to this relationship, to his love.. Our heart chakras were opened when we meet and we have a lot incommon but I chased him away. I can't experience the feeling of being abandoned/cheated on/lied to ever again.. I'm doing everything to prevent that even though that is chasing him away..
Now he is gone. Feels easier for my mind .. But my heart is ofcourse a little broken.. But it'll be okay..

Sorry for posting stuff on here which isn't interesting, a bit stupid at times, not helping anyone etc..

Peace.

I've had my heart broken once - it was pretty painful, but very educational and enlightening at the same time.