My obsessing has almost ended, but...

So, what's the best way to end it then? I don't want to leave angry but I also don't want it to be like there's a chance we'll speak again. I need a hard line without being mean.

I've tried closing it off. I've said goodbye, but I don't mean it. It's getting uncomfortable for me in so many ways now, though, so I need to break away.

It seems easier to turn to a higher source when he ends it, because the depression leads to soul searching. I hope me ending it will lead there as well.

I agree, Iseke!!

Originally Posted by ksjm33

So, what's the best way to end it then? I don't want to leave angry but I also don't want it to be like there's a chance we'll speak again. I need a hard line without being mean.

I've tried closing it off. I've said goodbye, but I don't mean it. It's getting uncomfortable for me in so many ways now, though, so I need to break away.

It seems easier to turn to a higher source when he ends it, because the depression leads to soul searching. I hope me ending it will lead there as well.

Personally, maybe just don't contact him anymore. Go from there. If he even reaches out again, you can confidently tell him whatever you decide to tell him. Even telling him you are working on your marriage (even if that's not the case) would suffice.

Here's to your new independence and reliance on yourself!

Hmm...do you need to ask his approval first? I mean, cutting him off cold turkey without telling him may seem harsh, but why are you trying to spare the feelings of someone who is not adding positivity to your life? He doesn't seem to be all that sensitive to your feelings either, so I'm not sure why you feel you need to seek his permission and inform him you'll be letting him go (thereby opening the door for him to stick his foot in and say "NO WAIT" with something thrown in to confuse you and reel you back in). Just cut him off. Delete his contact info. Block him. Change your email. Just do it. Cut him off cold turkey, not for him, but for you. Don't make it easy for yourself to go back to him. Don't give him an opportunity to snare you again. Don't discuss it or talk it out. Just walk away.

That's what I would say.

Wow, this doesn't seem like a tf thing afterall. Maybe I have been seriously deluding myself. I need to run!

[Liladeryn]

Originally Posted by ksjm33

Wow, this doesn't seem like a tf thing afterall. Maybe I have been seriously deluding myself. I need to run!

Do you know what you actually want from this man??What if he isn't a TF what does that mean too you how does that make it any different for you??

If he came to you tomorrow and said he wanted to be with you..Have you decided what you would do since you are married..

Maybe you need to just step back and really think about what you want from all this..

I do not see this should be about if its a TF or not I agree with everyone take the label out..I think you need to just figure out what you are doing in all this.