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Originally Posted by Liz614
Am I selling myself short? I can't even open myself up emotionally to another man. I'm trying but I can't. And he will probably never come around. Not in this lifetime. Twin flames force us to grow. I get that, and I am growing so much, but I also want to live, to,love, to enjoy sex, and romance, and I feel he and he has stolen that from me in a way. This is so hard. Three years on and it's so much easier but still controls me in many ways. Any input much appreciated.
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I think you are (but then here, on this part of the forum I tend to have my feet on the ground. People get carried away, using TF as an excuse for all kinds of neuroses and bad behaviour. Why people make such heavy weather of relationships beats me!)
You need just to go out and
be. Those things you want to enjoy are yours without all this kerfuffle. Look how it's impaired your emotional outlook. You aren't a soulless person or someone with only a partial soul. You are a star in your own right.
It's the mating game.
When people first meet, sure, they fancy something about each other. They want to impress so they behave themselves. They bend their own beliefs and convince themselves they like the same things. Sometimes they really do but (as you see here and elsewhere, everywhere in the world, that doesn't necessarily tell you what they'll be like in a year's time when truths start to come out).
Sure, there are times when you really do mesh. It's as if you share a great backlog of experience and beliefs (but still have enough to occupy themselves separately. There's nothing more boring than agreeing the whole time although sometimes they can work together completely). But it does take a little time to be sure of someone. Too many are too desperate to open their twin flame kitbag, pull out stuff - and
proclaim - on the basis of what? A couple of nebulous coincidences? One's just read a bit on Twin Flame Theory?
There's nothing wrong with romance either but it can flare and (like sex) fade so people hope they'll build enough of a relationship in the meantime that it doesn't matter. They've meshed enough, they can rely on each other, are great friends, support each other and acknowledge what each brings to the other's life. Good sex and good love rarely occur in the same person and, were it me, I'd go for the good love for anything long term.
This twin flame stuff sounds nice... no doubt it is for a few - but when you read a few threads here you can't help realising that most people are deluded. All this multiple simultaneous lifetime stuff, all the jargon, a nice kit but it does seem to cause a lot of upset and frustration.
Good luck.
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