Unable to relax anymore...

[danse macabre]

Hello everyone. I'm new to the forum and while I see there is a place for welcome messages, I thought I'd introduce myself here, instead.

I've been practicing meditation for several years now. I meditate using several different methods, and I change up each technique often, dedicating one method per period of meditation.

For example, one night I'll stare at a candle, on another I'll try very hard to concentrate on visualization of certain shapes and then try to hold them for as long as possible. I have a Tibetan prayer wheel and I spin that some nights. Other nights, I just concentrate on breathing while I try to completely clear my thoughts (chitta vritti nirodha).

I know that the point of meditation isn't to expect something to happen. However, I must say that at one point in my life, I was able to get into extreme forms of relaxation--to the point where certain insights would occur to me and in some cases, I'd see incredible things with my mind.

However, there have been a lot of major life changes going on with me lately. I've moved into a new house, I quit my old job and started a new one, and there are few other things happening in my life and ever since I got into this new house, I have not been fully able to relax. In all the months I've been here, I am unable to reach that DEEP level of relaxation.

Does anyone have any insight as to what might be causing this? Could major life changes really cause a person to be unable to fully relax? Are there any techniques that I could try that might help me to re-gain those deep and meaningful periods of meditation that I used to enjoy?

Thanks in advance for any advice!

[rosiegirl]

It seems to me that there's an energy in your new house that's keeping you from relaxing, perhaps from the previous owners. I suggest that you do an energy cleansing with sage or whatever you feel is right in order to remove the negative residue.

[danse macabre]

Originally Posted by rosiegirl

It seems to me that there's an energy in your new house that's keeping you from relaxing, perhaps from the previous owners. I suggest that you do an energy cleansing with sage or whatever you feel is right in order to remove the negative residue.

Thanks for your reply!

You know, I was actually thinking the same exact thing.

Here's something else. In the old house, if I meditated just prior to going to bed, I'd have the most vivid dreams. Some of them were recurring--about a dead relative that I had a lot of negative and unresolved issues with. I also noticed that ever since I moved into this house, not only do I dream less than I used to, I very rarely am even able to remember the dreams I do have now.

The house that I moved into is actually my grandmother's house, who just recently died. I was very close to her all these years and she shared my deep interest in philosophy and spirituality. However, she was a Roman Catholic to the extreme.

She didn't look down or criticize some of the more "exotic" spiritual practices that I was into like meditation, but she never meditated herself, for example.

I have to wonder if there is something about this house...or if my grandmother might be possibly watching over me and is somehow "blocking" me.

Or, like I said from the beginning, perhaps it's all in my mind and I'm simply unable to relax now because of all the new changes and other stress in my life.

[Ground]

It is just your mind. you shouldn't construct external causes. Best would be to stop meditating. But if there is already this conditioned obessive illusion 'I have to meditate.' which is kind of an addiction then just sit without doing anything, i.e. no staring at anything, no concentration on anything, just sit. This may bring the obsessions to an end - at least temporarily. When the obsessions end there is relaxation. Because this is when it will occur to you that there is nothing to do and nothing to achieve.

[danse macabre]

Originally Posted by Ground

It is just your mind. you shouldn't construct external causes. Best would be to stop meditating. But if there is already this conditioned obessive illusion 'I have to meditate.' which is kind of an addiction then just sit without doing anything, i.e. no staring at anything, no concentration on anything, just sit. This may bring the obsessions to an end - at least temporarily. When the obsessions end there is relaxation. Because this is when it will occur to you that there is nothing to do and nothing to achieve.

Thank you.

Hmm...actually the thought of obsessing over it never even occurred to me.

The idea of making time to meditate and stressing about it like thinking I'm getting lazy or I'm undisciplined...those thoughts are really getting to be more intrusive. And the worry that comes with them...it's taking the place of the simple act of relaxing.

Ironic as this may be, maybe a break would be good. It's hard to imagine that I might need to relax from relaxing...but I think maybe that just goes to show I'm not REALLY relaxing...maybe I'm just going through the motions.

Anyway, thanks for the advice so far everyone!

[Gem]

Originally Posted by danse macabre

Hello everyone. I'm new to the forum and while I see there is a place for welcome messages, I thought I'd introduce myself here, instead.

I've been practicing meditation for several years now. I meditate using several different methods, and I change up each technique often, dedicating one method per period of meditation.

For example, one night I'll stare at a candle, on another I'll try very hard to concentrate on visualization of certain shapes and then try to hold them for as long as possible. I have a Tibetan prayer wheel and I spin that some nights. Other nights, I just concentrate on breathing while I try to completely clear my thoughts (chitta vritti nirodha).

I know that the point of meditation isn't to expect something to happen. However, I must say that at one point in my life, I was able to get into extreme forms of relaxation--to the point where certain insights would occur to me and in some cases, I'd see incredible things with my mind.

However, there have been a lot of major life changes going on with me lately. I've moved into a new house, I quit my old job and started a new one, and there are few other things happening in my life and ever since I got into this new house, I have not been fully able to relax. In all the months I've been here, I am unable to reach that DEEP level of relaxation.

Does anyone have any insight as to what might be causing this? Could major life changes really cause a person to be unable to fully relax? Are there any techniques that I could try that might help me to re-gain those deep and meaningful periods of meditation that I used to enjoy?

Thanks in advance for any advice!

I guess a lot of major life changes like you describe would unsettle anyone and it takes maybe 3 months or so to settle in. I think it's realistic to expect that you'd feel more relaxed once you've gone through this period of upheaval of major change.

[baro-san]

Originally Posted by danse macabre

Hello everyone. ... Are there any techniques that I could try that might help me to re-gain those deep and meaningful periods of meditation that I used to enjoy?

Thanks in advance for any advice!

If you don't do any progressive physical relaxation, then start doing it. If you do it, then deepen it more.

There is a possibility that you concentrate too much on technique, expecting results to automatically come out of it. Better, set your intention to achieve the intended mind state while focusing beyond techniques.

[Ground]

Originally Posted by danse macabre

Thank you.

Hmm...actually the thought of obsessing over it never even occurred to me.

The idea of making time to meditate and stressing about it like thinking I'm getting lazy or I'm undisciplined...those thoughts are really getting to be more intrusive.

yeah such kinds of thoughts I usually subsume under 'obsession' or 'fixed ideas'. But if you can ignore them then that's good.
If you can't ignore them then zen-like 'just sitting' (non-doing) may be of help. Initially many intrusive thoughts may arise or strong feelings/emotions and it is a challenging practice to not do anything about them, neither identify nor analyse them but just ignore them and leave them be as 'they want' to and just keep on sitting imperturbably like a stone or a corpse, 'drop body and mind', until finally limitless evenness arises independent of thoughts or feelings or whatever turmoil may arise. Initial tension turns into relaxation.
But of course there is again the danger of becoming addicted to, obsessed over 'just sitting' . There are a lot of 'just sitting' addicts among zen followers.

[HealerW]

Originally Posted by rosiegirl

It seems to me that there's an energy in your new house that's keeping you from relaxing, perhaps from the previous owners. I suggest that you do an energy cleansing with sage or whatever you feel is right in order to remove the negative residue.

I would also try meditating on a wool blanket if you have one. Yogananda taught that this minimizes the earth's electromagnetic fields, which can possible hinder your efforts. Best to you!

[Uma]

Originally Posted by danse macabre

However, there have been a lot of major life changes going on with me lately. I've moved into a new house, I quit my old job and started a new one, and there are few other things happening in my life and ever since I got into this new house, I have not been fully able to relax. In all the months I've been here, I am unable to reach that DEEP level of relaxation.

Does anyone have any insight as to what might be causing this? Could major life changes really cause a person to be unable to fully relax?

Definitely, absolutely! Go easy on yourself. You're in the middle of high stress life situations. When you can't relax using the spiritual tools, get the support you need. Once things settle down you can go back to your practice. Start with the simple things - nice hot bath, aroma therapy, talking to a caring friend...