Drug Addiction I WANT to get past

kvsouth1111 · #1 25-08-2015, 09:57 PM

I hope this is the right forum. But I want to come clean, esp as I progress through this spirituality I feel a need to COME clean and get this over with. 20 years ago I was a major drug addict--=which is how I died. I never knew I was an empath or anything about that. All I knew was I was extreme high anxiety ALL the time and could complete nothing due to it and was too embarassed (I was raised it as a sign of weakness) to admit it. So I missed a lot of great opportunities and was prescribed benzos (worst thing) that really helped me function. Only I fell too in love. I find now that is also a sign of a sensitive. I did go through a rehab program, cleaned up for 10 years, and things went downhill again. I'm not as bad as before, but I still get my benzos which I try to sparingly use, but once an addict always an addict. I'm hoping self reiki and reki from others will help. any other suggestions. I know this is holding me back from all I can be=---and I also know that the evil spirits who have taunted and wrecked my life are putting these thoughts in my head. I just can't live in this contant anxieity and I meditated for a long time, which helped. I need new ways to cope. I will be on Effexor for the rest of my life due to anxiety/panic disorder and borderline bipolar he says. but I know the meds are not good for my body.

Please if anyone can relate or give advice, I am open to receiving. This has been my skeleton I'm tired of living with and want to get rid of once and for all. (and interestingly enough it started back when I joined a paranormal group--of which now I've been warned to stay away bc I am like a beacon for spirits.

All comments honest, harsh, commpassionate are welcome! Thankyou in advance, this was hard to admit but it needed to be.

linen53 · #2 25-08-2015, 10:21 PM

kvsouth1111, it is so hard to come clean but you were a brave soul and told the truth. That say a lot right there.

I can't give advice but I want you to know I support what you are trying to do. I did quit smoking cigarettes about 8 years ago and it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. 18 months of hell. But I think I am comparing apples (me) to oranges (you).

I try not to beat myself up for what faults I have. I figure I'll sort it out when I get to the other side. Since I don't believe in sin, and I believe there is nothing but love and support on the other side of the veil, I know I won't be punished as some religions teach.

I don't believe in demons or evil spirits in the way you describe. What thoughts I have I own up to as being mine. And I can come up with some pretty wicked thoughts. But I counteract them every time one comes into my head. I refuse to think negatively towards the world and my fellow man.

I do believe there are dark souls. What I've read is that like attracts like. In other words, if you have negative thoughts, you will attract the same to you.

You might start a post asking for a reiki healing. Others do and almost always someone who knows reiki will step in. If not, ask again.

kvsouth1111 · #3 25-08-2015, 10:30 PM

Thank you for your feedback! Although we do not agree on everything, we def agree on some important points. Yes, I felt it was right to come clean on here. I am Reiki level 3 and I've been giving myself sessions as well as others (because that is also a healing for me). But I do belive the demons that have followed me all my life are just waiting patiently on the sidelines to really mess up again. I even got a DUI (2) this year and I've never been in trouble. But they were due to panic attacks while driving (I convulse), so no tellingwhat willh appen with that. Right now, that's last on my priority list. Im just thankful I didn't kill anyone, Ijust wanted to park and get past it. It was really bad before I went to see a specialist.

Thankyou so much for your input again!

kvsouth1111 · #4 25-08-2015, 10:31 PM

I also make sure I am clear of everything BEFORE ever giving Reiki. I believe if I can get beyond the anxiety from being an empath or all these these going on I don't understand, then medication can be over with and I can do what we are spiritualy made for. I just feel medication blocks us off in ways.

linen53 · #5 25-08-2015, 10:39 PM

We stand in our own way from developing spiritually. Whether it's drugs or distractions or denial or, or, or. We are our own worst enemy.

I agree, we don't have to agree on everything. I celebrate our differences. And that we can still come together and commune with one another.

I remember when I was much younger and kept screwing up. My tickets were driving without a license. 3 of them. I felt I was in a huge deep hole and would never get out. But eventually I did. Those chaos years are behind me, thank goodness. I feel I had to go through them to get to where I am now. So have hope there is a bright horizon in your future.

kvsouth1111 · #6 25-08-2015, 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by linen53

We stand in our own way from developing spiritually. Whether it's drugs or distractions or denial or, or, or. We are our own worst enemy.

I agree, we don't have to agree on everything. I celebrate our differences. And that we can still come together and commune with one another.

I remember when I was much younger and kept screwing up. My tickets were driving without a license. 3 of them. I felt I was in a huge deep hole and would never get out. But eventually I did. Those chaos years are behind me, thank goodness. I feel I had to go through them to get to where I am now. So have hope there is a bright horizon in your future.

Thank you...and I have much hope. without it, there is nothing. Iknow I will get past all of this! I've gotten past everyting in life, this will not be any different and will be even better int he end (living in another country teaching english~~)

linen53 · #7 27-08-2015, 04:37 PM

Just dropping by to let you know I'm thinking about you.

kvsouth1111 · #8 27-08-2015, 04:43 PM

Thank you , Linen, and all else who had words of wisdom. They teachyou this is not a will thing but a disease--but I just don't believe that at all! I choose to do it when I had a choice! So, with your encouragement, I know I can get past all of this. thanks and big hugs to all of you!

linen53 · #9 27-08-2015, 09:47 PM

I believe you have the right attitude! Remember to reward yourself. For example, one member here told me she quit smoking cigarettes and as a reward she hired a cleaning lady.

Your reward doesn't have to be that extravagant but do something for just you. Nurture yourself. Because no one else will.

Another example, my dogs are working dogs. And each afternoon they get good girl rewards (a treat). If dogs deserve it don't you think you do too?

Deepsoul · #10 27-08-2015, 10:24 PM

Kysouth1111 I know that extreme anxiety ,I am now clean off alcohol and the best methods that work for me is practising self -loving techniques and affirmations ,louise Hay helps me alot , learning to be assertive, grounding meditations like sitting chi-gong, and my complete faith in God and Jesus Christ, I am working on sugar now but I am being supported and for this I am very grateful. You truly emit the most beautiful vibes ,I feel you will find your way ,keep loving yourself and see the beauty in you that is your strength.....