Extremely confused!!

[John Elessar]

The above is why I loathe texting as a means of communicating anything other than glib superficialities and purely concrete details.

Annabelle239, i am not too insecure to be in a relationship. This is called being hurt and sad from a BREAKUP! Dont be so quick to judge cause im sure you have been heart broken too. Im not clingy and have never been called that by anyone ive dated. You dont understand that this break up ended suddenly and very vaguely. I figured you would have understood that by now instead of judging me.

Twinkle that sounds like a good idea. I may just do that. I have been chatting with this one girl on there but nothing has been set up. Just friendly chat. She invited me for drinks this week. Perhaps i should take her up on it. I just dont want to be a debbie downer so i wont go until i have a better day.

Again people im not sad just because of the girl herself. Im also sad cause im sick of starting over, im hurt that she said all these strong feelings for me and then we end over nothing. Im sad cause i didnt give my heart to anyone for over 2 years and now that i did i feel like i wasted it and feel let down. Im at a transition point in my life where im done with dating random girls and want a solid mature relationship. I thought this girl could give it to me but its obvious she has some major issues of her own.

[annabelle239]

keep doing what your doing,you'll keep getting what you get. i'm not judging,i'm calling it as i see it. unlike you,i have been hurt before and am trying to not make the same mistakes i made before. just because you havent been called clingy doesnt mean you arent clingy. this isnt about being physically clingy. it's about what you are doing on the invisible level of things. you are vibrating fear. fears repels our desires from us.

Originally Posted by Drewcious281

So what the hell is she saying. First part seems like she wants to see me and misses me and seemed excited but it also seemed like she would not give me a straight answer if she was talking to someone or not. You would think if this was important to her at all she would make the time or would respond to my texts but it seems like she is either purposely ignoring or playing games or is pre occupied..... whats yalls take?

Ok..for one thing, just as you said shes not giving you ANY answer as for her seeing someone else. Guess I can kudos her in one sense, shes not LYING and saying she isnt when she is. However shes not being direct so to me, its still just as bad.
Ive told you my take and it still stands as the same it was before. To me, this girl is playing the "typical male role" leaving you wanting more. Now you may understand what most women go through. Im not sure what sort of lesson other than that..that this is suppose to show you but I feel you are just digging yourself deeper by not accepting the situation as it stands.

Is it hard for you to accept that someone just wants you for "your body"?

In the next breath, your obviously ready for commitment. Your willing to jump through hoops for this one who isnt giving me any impression shes as ready as you are. Let go of this one...the right one will come along when you least expect it and then invest all this energy your wasting, in her.

Guess I should of keep reading the replies before I posted mine..lol.

This other girl you have had conversations with, sounds like a good plan to meet up. Dont wait for Debby Downer to disappear. Shove her in a locked closet and flush the key!

[twinkle]

Originally Posted by Drewcious281

I have been chatting with this one girl on there but nothing has been set up. Just friendly chat. She invited me for drinks this week. Perhaps i should take her up on it. I just dont want to be a debbie downer so i wont go until i have a better day.

Do you realize you lied to her when you said you have not been talking to anyone else? If you need her to be honest with you, you need to be honest, too.

Twinkle me and this girl have no intentions though. Its honestly just be casual chat about snowboarding so i dont see that as "talking to someone". Its not an everyday thing and its only on that site. I see your point though.

Annabelle and Partofme, thank you for clearing that up and making alot of sense. Honestly sometimes i hate being a Gemini because i am such a thinker and honestly i dont want to think about this anymore, i dont want to think about her anymore. I spent some good time with my dad yesterday after i left work early and talked alot. I told him i try hard not to think about her but its like she is forced in my head. Its almost like a spell has been put on me or something.

Last week i had more good days but i think its because i knew we were going to talk. Now that we did and at first i got good answers but then the no responses which yes are just as bad; I will admit i am kind of crushed. Now i dont know the situation or circumstances and its probably that dude she took on as a client. As my dad and i said, she has some major insecurity and abandoment issues and cannot be alone. My dad and sister feel she doesnt want to come out and tell me she is talking to someone because she wants to keep me around as a back up. I have no doubt she does have feelings but her actions and games she is playing show the opposite.

Last night i threw out and cleaned up anything that she left or had at my house. This morning i cleaned up pictures and files that we had. I want to move on and let go. I dont want to feel like this anymore and she is not worth me having to be this depressed. Like i told my dad, the reason i am soo hurt and like ive told yall is cause for 2 1/2 years i protected my heart. Like an idiot i felt safe to give it to her because she assured me it would be safe. Then this happens. I honestly feel sorry for her kids. They seem like good kids but to see that thier mom jumps from guy to guy is not a good example. I dont have kids but i have neices and nephews that i adore like kids and if my sisters were doing this i would definitely have something to say.

My dad seems to think she is still going to want to meet up to talk to me to probably lure me in or see which guy she wants to stick with. He for the hell of it meet up and talk and see what she has to say. I personally feel if i do it may just start me back at square one since im seeing her. What is the point on meeting up to talk when i pretty much already have most of my answers. Right? what do you all think? Meet up or ignore the text to meet up? I really really do want to let her go and move on. My friends and family have been so helpful and giving an ear to my situation and EVERYONE tells me that from what they have seen and heard about her i deserve better and she has issues.

Everyone has issues, including you.
Relationship is a coming together of two strangers with their own bag of issues and you need to find someone who is compatible with your own issues.

[twinkle]

What is odd about her is it is like she has 2 personalities. Does it seem that way to you? She goes from acting as a professional at work to a child at home. I am not talking about acting serious at work, then having fun or goofing off at home, which is normal.

Thats why a friend from another forum is convinced she has Borderline Personality Disorder cause she shows the same signs as his ex. He sent me some articles and its honestly how accurate the symptoms and methods are. Im pretty convinced she has it too. Do i want to deal with that? Now that i know and what ive been going through i do not want to go through these feelings again or even risk it if she tries to crawl back. I cant allow myself to waste time on someone like this.

Kind of odd but throughout the day these random thoughts of things i really didnt like about her are popping in my head. things i totally forgot about. One that just popped into my head was she seemed to feel she was better than all the girls we were around. If we went to a bar/grill it seemed like she assumed the girls liked me so she purposely had to be a B*tch to them. i didnt like that at all. and another time at the mall her daughter was getting her nose pierced. She pulls the piercers aside and tells them "i need to have a little talk with you two about the process". Basically belittled and asked them twenty questions over a nose pierceing. Even when her daughter got it pierced her daughter didnt scream, she did. She just thinks she is higher and mightier than everyone and uses her looks to her advantage. I dont need someone like that. No thank you.

Yes she is super high maintenance but i can handle that cause im kind of high maintenance myself. She was something else and yes 2 personalities. When we met up during the work week she would be stuck in her work mentality and i almost felt like i was meeting with a client and this was honestly most of the time we bickered cause she would not seperate from her work mode and realize she was hanging out with her partner. only difference is we would be affectionate. But on the weekends when she came to my house or i went to hers was when she cut loose and was easy going and fun. Thats the woman i was into. The one i met for happy hour a couple times a week i didnt care for. wierd huh??

Damn now that all this is coming to light im a freaking idiot! I chose to ignore all those red flags because i wanted a relationship so bad and loved our sex constant sex life that now i am suffering for it. Ugh! This is my own damn fault for allowing this!

sorry - posted something for a new thread, into this one somehow!!! Ignore this.