Thinking positive or negative works backwards for me...

[tmsmem]

I am generally a very positive person on a daily basis.
In my past young adult years (not now), when it came down to something I needed, alot of times I didn't get it, sometimes my basic daily needs were a struggle. (a long story, that was years ago and things are much better now)

I'm not sure if the above ^ is why, but I think I may have un-conciously developed this positive vs negative thing that's going on.

It is said that if you think positive then your chances are better that positive will actually happen.
And if you think negative then negative will happen.

For some strange reason most of my adult life has been the exact opposite of this.

If there is something good that I hope happens, all I have to do is think negative about it.
For example, "I might as well forget it, that will never happen!" And then whatever it is, usually happens, seriously.
Even the small things.
And if I am positive something good is going to happen, then here comes something bad happening...

I could give a million examples.

Why is this, does anyone know?

Did I cause this myself? Or does it maby have to do with karma or something?

I want to know if anyone else in the world has this problem too?
Thanks!

[Xiomara]

It seems negativity works in positive way for you,yes,its maybe uncommon,but that could be just your own way

[LillyBelle]

I don't know,but it was the same way for me for a very long time. Then,recently I started to make an effort to be more optimistic about things and I have to admit things do seem a little brighter. Yes,I still have problems (we all do),but getting through them has been a lot easier.

Originally Posted by LillyBelle

I don't know,but it was the same way for me for a very long time. Then,recently I started to make an effort to be more optimistic about things and I have to admit things do seem a little brighter. Yes,I still have problems (we all do),but getting through them has been a lot easier.

You express the issue very well.

There's always this thing about positive=good v negative=bad which to me is rather silly. "Optimistic" and "Pessimistic" would seem far better terms for the conditions.

The power of positive thought lies in the relationship between our thoughts, feelings and behaviour.

An example: if you feel down on yourself, you may think 'there's hardly any point going to the interview, I won't get the job', then when you are in the interview, you are less likely to give detailed and enthusiastic responses to the questions, you are less likely to ask questions that show your interest in the job (because your mind has told you you're not going to be getting the job) and your body language may also show a lack of enthusiasm for being there (if you even decided to go at all). So thought alone didn't magically make someone not give you the job, it simply effected the way that you behaved at the interview, and the behaviour didn't impress the employer, and that's why you didn't get the job.

At the other end of the scale, if I think positively, telling myself that my baby is absolutely fine, that it is a beautiful and normal part of development for it to cry, and I am a perfect parent because I love my child very much - I am in denial of the fact that the baby is crying because it needs food, positive thinking alone won't make me a good parent, it is the behaviour of hearing the baby and providing for its needs by giving it food that will fulfil the role of parent. In this scenario positive thinking creates an adverse behaviour.

Looking at the way thinking effects behaviour, and the way behaviour effects outcomes is the basis of CBT, and it can help to improve peoples lives in some ways.

In terms of bringing things into our lives, that comes from much deeper needs, that often exist in the unconscious.

[tmsmem]

Thank youfor your replies...

[LillyBelle]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

You express the issue very well.

There's always this thing about positive=good v negative=bad which to me is rather silly. "Optimistic" and "Pessimistic" would seem far better terms for the conditions.

Thank you! :)

[God-Like]

Originally Posted by Sonya

It is said that if you think positive then your chances are better that positive will actually happen.
And if you think negative then negative will happen.

Hi Son ,

Perhaps it more down to what will happen will happen regardless .

Thinking positively or negatively doesn't stop you winning the lottery if it's written in the stars .

Thinking positively and thinking negatively just gives one a particular reflection of what is happening or what is yet to happen or not be it the case .

Some will say that it is the positivity that I exercised that brought forth a positive result .. and yet someone's negative traits can be seen in a positive light .

One cannot be negative when they perceive in a positive fashion until the wind changes direction .

Do they control the wind . Do they control how they feel be it positive or negative .


x daz x

[Dwerg]

I've had the same issue. Solved it by taking a balanced view, such as "I'll wait and see". I'd rather put my feelings into that statement as I'll be excited about seeing the outcome, and not by what the outcome is. It's also more exciting to deal with unknowns. Think about this, you receive a present and you have that sense of wonder about the content. Treat life like a gift, never knowing what you get but you'll love to find out.

Personally I have no belief in positive thoughts as I can never figure out whether positive thoughts are the result of positive feelings or vice versa. Sometimes I've been thinking positively and done it in a desperate attempt to remove bad feelings, but it only made it worse as I sense my own hypocrisy. I just remain passive and let it run out of fuel, in other words just lie down and relax (aka. meditate). No wonder patience is a virtue, haha.

[Silver]

Originally Posted by Sonya

I am generally a very positive person on a daily basis.
In my past young adult years (not now), when it came down to something I needed, alot of times I didn't get it, sometimes my basic daily needs were a struggle. (a long story, that was years ago and things are much better now)

I'm not sure if the above ^ is why, but I think I may have un-conciously developed this positive vs negative thing that's going on.

It is said that if you think positive then your chances are better that positive will actually happen.
And if you think negative then negative will happen.

For some strange reason most of my adult life has been the exact opposite of this.

If there is something good that I hope happens, all I have to do is think negative about it.
For example, "I might as well forget it, that will never happen!" And then whatever it is, usually happens, seriously.
Even the small things.
And if I am positive something good is going to happen, then here comes something bad happening...

I could give a million examples.

Why is this, does anyone know?

Did I cause this myself? Or does it maby have to do with karma or something?

I want to know if anyone else in the world has this problem too?
Thanks!

That is an excellent observation about your life and how you think, and really good thread idea...

That used to happen to me sometimes.....I chalk it up to reverse psychology because, it's not that you don't think you deserve good things, yet you feel sheepish for wanting stuff for whatever reason.

And Dwerg, that waiting and seeing really is a good attitude to adopt.