Do most love their soul family members regardless of the packaging?

[Baile]

Originally Posted by Inika

twin flames are not about 'finding' one person to have as an intimate life partner.

2/3 of the threads on this forum are from people either searching for their twin, or trying to get their twin back. So yes, it is very much about finding or manifesting their twin, and/or scrambling to get their intimate twin-half back into their life, so as to be complete.

Soul mates don't need others to make them complete. They're complete already.

[SaturninePluto]

]jro5139Another question I have, do we consider our soul family soulmates or some other type of SC? Because my soul family, and even the platonic ones, are not always smooth sailing.
I believe there are different types of soulmates as well, there are those that we have a continuous relationship with and there are those that come into our life shortly and quickly but make a big impact. I've met both, although with some soulmates that came and went quick, I think I have more interaction with somewhere else, like another plane, dimension or lifetime bc there's too much of a connection to be simply the short interaction that we had.

For my personal life view, I view everyone as a teacher and possible teacher. I hold to the belief that there is something to be learned from every single unique individual that I could happen across. Really I find it true. We also I believe are able to learn of challenging aspects of humanity this way, but do not have to take a negative perspective necessarily of such learning.

I have had a spiritual experience with a friend of mine, after this experience he asked me do you believe in soulmates? And I answered him honestly. I told him no. I said we as human beings are capable of learning profound spiritual lessons from everyone, in any type of relationship. Whether from a child, a family member, a friend, a lover or yes even a worst enemy. Or an enemy. There are many spiritual lessons to be learned from everyone. Very deeply profound lessons. I then asked my friend, do you believe that soulmates could be enemies? I mean.. do you think that is possible? He said I thought soulmates had a similar connection he said, I thought soulmates liked eachother Don't you? And I told him, that I have learned much from my enemies, and have had very karmic and spiritual connections with even my most loathesome of enemies. And I then said to him, "You know what? There is not but one enemy I may have, that I regret Having". He said "I would never think you would have an enemy Sarah". I looked back at him as I was in the midst of walking away to involve myself in something else and said "You'd be surprised".

That is my view of the soul connection and what I mean when I say I believe I am capable of having soul connections with many a different type of people.

I realize I am able to learn something from others- if I decide and act on this view. If I actively seek to approach another individual and learn I may find myself quite surprised by what another may have to offer.

I try to be of service to others, and do not view it as sacrificing too much, but view it as respectfully serving the other living lifeforms that share this planet with myself. I am in their service, always.

[Delay_Reaction]

This is a good lesson. Sometimes i find it hard that someone could have a profound spiritual experience with someone they are not in love with. Thoughts that many a times creep up are "how could you learn anything from HIM??? He is an ape in a coma..."

I know that we can learn lessons from everybody, even from "enemies". I just feel that i would not stick around longer than i have to and would end that association as quickly as possible by conscious decision and I don't understand people who don't yet express how trapped they feel.

Originally Posted by SaturninePluto

For my personal life view, I view everyone as a teacher and possible teacher. I hold to the belief that there is something to be learned from every single unique individual that I could happen across. Really I find it true. We also I believe are able to learn of challenging aspects of humanity this way, but do not have to take a negative perspective necessarily of such learning.

I have had a spiritual experience with a friend of mine, after this experience he asked me do you believe in soulmates? And I answered him honestly. I told him no. I said we as human beings are capable of learning profound spiritual lessons from everyone, in any type of relationship. Whether from a child, a family member, a friend, a lover or yes even a worst enemy. Or an enemy. There are many spiritual lessons to be learned from everyone. Very deeply profound lessons. I then asked my friend, do you believe that soulmates could be enemies? I mean.. do you think that is possible? He said I thought soulmates had a similar connection he said, I thought soulmates liked eachother Don't you? And I told him, that I have learned much from my enemies, and have had very karmic and spiritual connections with even my most loathesome of enemies. And I then said to him, "You know what? There is not but one enemy I may have, that I regret Having". He said "I would never think you would have an enemy Sarah". I looked back at him as I was in the midst of walking away to involve myself in something else and said "You'd be surprised".

That is my view of the soul connection and what I mean when I say I believe I am capable of having soul connections with many a different type of people.

I realize I am able to learn something from others- if I decide and act on this view. If I actively seek to approach another individual and learn I may find myself quite surprised by what another may have to offer.

I try to be of service to others, and do not view it as sacrificing too much, but view it as respectfully serving the other living lifeforms that share this planet with myself. I am in their service, always.

[jro5139]

Interesting thread and opinions...

I don't personally feel incomplete. I don't need tf or anyone else to make me complete, I want to be around my sc's bc they are the best vibrational matches to me and the people I get along with best. I want to share my life with them, I don't need to. I would not say I don't have intimate energy with the people in my soul family, even the platonic ones, I would say there is an intimate energy there, but I'm not talking sexual. I also feel there has always been an intimate energy between tf and i, again this is not just sexual. It has always been there, it just is, we didn't have to make it so or work on it. It's just there, whether sex is involved or not. And neither one of us was looking for it.
I'm not of the mind to think a tf can be found when looking, bc there is so much that goes into it happening. It's about certain levels of growth, it's about Divine Timing, it's about random events coming together at the right time, this isn't stuff that our human selves can plan out. So when people say they are looking for their tf, I figure they imagine it to be a quick and easy romance. This is not what it is, to think that is setting themselves up for disappointment.

Yes you can learn something from everyone, the lessons with tf just come quicker and often, hit harder, it's fast track lesson learning. To say you don't learn from everyone though, is just not correct. I don't have enemy's, even if people consider me their enemy, I don't consider them one. I try not to waste energy on that silly stuff anymore. That's not to say, that I want to be around everyone. There are some people I would prefer not to be around, I just accept they are on a different part of the journey than me, but I will not go out of my way to hang out with them lol.

SP, that is great that you are in service to others, as long as you a) make sure your own needs are met and b) realize that not everyone you encounter is going to be this way back. When people are not like this, it's often that they have not come to understand that we are all connected. They view themselves as separate from everyone else and won't help another unless they feel it will benefit them in some way. They just aren't there yet in understanding, and it does us good as souls who do understand that we are all connected, to love them anyway and understand why they are the way they are.

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by 7luminaries
Again, even with deep soul connections, there are differences due to ego and the individual journey, and where we each are on our journey. Often this is due to the overlay of mainstream society, which privileges some of us over others of us, whereby there is an implicit imbalance which cannot be overcome till both or all parties come a bit further on their paths.

Originally Posted by Baile

This is such a great insight. If only I could have read it 40 years (?!) ago and saved myself all that relationship confusion and misery. On the other hand I would have read it back then and not understood it, so...

Hahaha...pretty sure that would be the case for most. When you're younger you know less about the differences in everyone's journey. You assume everyone can get to a place of engaged balance, of generosity and equanimity in this lifetime, from wherever they are. Wrong.
It's technically always true in each moment, but it's both arrogant and naive to assume that it will be so for each and any one of us.

Likewise, regarding the overlay of our human hierarchies and belief constructs, it's harder to see or accept that there are vast imbalances and inequalities in the human world around us. Particularly since when we're younger, the differences are not as pronounced as when we get out there in adult society and we see how power, prestige, money, and control continuously accrue to the structures currently in place. This includes and overlaps with all personal relationships, and it requires ongoing reflection and conscious rejection to remain apart from its influence. You find yourself literally explaining to others things like "it's a false paradigm, and I reject it. From my perspective, we are all equal and equally worthy and valued." Meaning, implicitly, I reject your mainstream paradigm which says you get to give me orders or control me because you're [fill in the blank...for example, physically stronger than me or otherwise fancy yourself the one in charge for whatever reason ].

Or, also meaning I reject the mainstream paradigm which says that you get to berate and criticize me when you're not happy, since (for example, in my case) as the woman, you may consider it's my fault if you're not happy and it's on me to bootlick, apologize , bow and scrape until you feel I've demeaned myself enough to adequately bolster your ego. I reject the mainstream paradigm that says it's my fault and you have a God-given right to be angry with me and show me your aggression whenever you feel vulnerable or lacking "hand", or if you feel insecure with e because I may like you just fine, but I don't need you. Moreover, I may prefer we remain friends if you're too demanding or presumptuous regarding my autonomy and that doesn't mean you get to call me a b*tch for having an opinion (re: Bette Davis), particularly after expecting me to carry my own weight and pay my own way and not burden you.

Hahaha...yes...a new day is dawning and the whole way in which our society's entrenched imbalances are totally screwing with human progress at every level is becoming really visible in all its sordid and trite brand of ugliness. We can't keep folks down and then point the finger and tell them to stand on their own two feet, but regardless to shut up and pimp themselves out, but then -- particularly if they DO somehow manage to stand up but don't want to pimp themselves out --brand them as troublemakers when they decide they're too feel entitled to some decency and parity, or to the right to have an opinion and to consider their feelings equally to anyone else's.

These are the imbalances of which I speak. And they affect all human relationships, but particularly those in which imbalance defines the relationship. Because imbalances exist based on biology and geography as well as culture and economics, these same imbalances also deeply impact friendships...but particularly those of opposite sexes.

Peace & blessings
7L

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by Inika

Cool thread post.

The packaging is just that. like a coat to cover a body and that coat will fray away and be too old to be worn one day. like the body. as much as many cling to the idea of an eternal skin. it will perish and pass.

the body and what i get and want out of it is nothing to do with loving the other. in fact, the what i want out of it from the other is where i'd be met with frustration and attachment and suffering. its so temporary. wasting all my earth life time on pushing for what seems guranteed to me when you meet a soul connection which is illusionary. what im speaking of is meeting a soul you are connected with deeper than physical and expecting something out of it ONLY because you are connected and this is what must happen and how it must look for it to be authentic and real and genuine to the public. Acceptable.

love a soul because that is what is genuine and authentic regardless of what your physical 3D body gets from it in this current life timeline and experience.

I've got many. my eldest daughter is a soul connection. 3D wise she can drive me bonkers. but i see her soul and its capacity and potential to grow beyond the limits of 3D consciousness. There is so much more to see within souls when you look with agape heart. Its not only to serve your genital area or physical needs for comfort in 3D reality. soul connections are a greater purpose.

anyone can remain asleep. anyone can accomodate those that choose to stay asleep. but not everyone connects with you to awaken you to more of what actually is. which is not always romance or you're too ugly and poor to connect with me sorry. its above human concept when consciousness rises above 3D.

Inika -- beautiful post. Agreed full stop. You're so right on all points.
And ain't that the truth

Peace & blessings

[fallengrace]

In answer to your question of if one would still feel the same way for their Twin, I had an interesting experience very recently.

My Twin and I are both in relationships with very close soul connections and I believe that we are getting over the grief stage. Apparently we are both attempting to move on.

The connection remains, though while still constant, it isnt as intense.

A few nights ago, I had a a very intense dream, in which I met a stranger and felt that instant soul-recognition. This was apparently NOT my Twin, it was some other woman, but the soul energy felt the same. At this point in the dream, I thought of my wife and how I love her and how I could not be with the "other" because now it "was too late". The "other" immediately pushed away and I felt it fade rather quickly. My skeptical side would say that the dream is just a more obvious expression of my waking-life feelings, however, as I started to wake up and as I felt the"other" soul go, I felt it's hurt of being "rejected" and its agreement that we should not do such a thing. As the dream faded, the "other" could not hold together the disguise it had attempted, and I realized that it was my Twin.

I have only dreamt of my Twin on very few occasions, so I know and feel it to be true.

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by BlueCat

It's for this there is a big imbalance into TF/SC connection where the other seems more "lucky" and privileged in a way while the other is left in a less fortunate state? I'm not unlucky in other things outside the connection, but about this connection it seems the universe is challenging me too hard, while the other is really happy and the other is in deep pain. Like a slap in my face.

BlueCat...first of all I'm sorry for your pain.

When you read my words of response, I want you to understand that for me, there is no difference between any of my soul connections EXCEPT differences in distance from my centre, and/or differences in resonance or alignment between our souls, for one reason or another. And IMO, these things are always the axis of both growth and contention.

So, for example...while most of my closest and/or best aligned soul connections are supportive and loving, BUT some are not...and yes it hurts.
In our current reality...those soul connections which inflict pain and cruelty instead of giving lovingkindness are nearly always telling us who we are not and reminding us of the darkness in humanity.
There's not much else to say about it, except that if it doesn't also deepen your strength, discipline, fortitude and temperance, you missed the point.
And if it didn't deepen your heart centre and your compassion, you also missed the point.
So...some of our soul connections fall here, and sometimes it leaves very deep scars. Sometimes it nearly breaks us.
But learning to say no, to say STOP, and to walk away as soon as we have the freedom to do so is also a lesson. We can't do much as children, but as adults, we do NOT have to associate with soul connections who come at us with pain and cruelty. We can say no. We can say STOP. And we can walk away. Always remember that!

My father has always been a bit of a [illegitimate son], quite a bit of one really, blaming me for being born and savagely tearing into me till I left home. If I'd ever spoken a word I might not be here today. Yet he taught me to expect nothing, certainly not love or kindness, from soul connections.And he privileged me with an understanding of the darkest and basest side of the male snake brain in a way most women will never understand. I literally know how he thinks and why, sorry to say, but that is our bond and I was given a direct insight into him in place of a father's love or kindness. That insight and understanding is how I got by and dealt with it. And so I get all the worst of male superficiality and sexuality. I have to say, the upside is that I was able to look after myself from a very young age far better and with far greater insight into all levels of consciousness (even the murky ones) than most women who have very little insight into the murky heart of darkness -- and that has been a huge gift. Luckily, I was also always strongly open to the good as well -- but I'm sorry to say, it's a much rarer animal once you come to ANY context of power-over, where there is imbalance. Still, we are at the start of the new age, and we are beginning to emerge from spiritual infancy...so there is hope, and I see it in the children very much.

I also have two or three other close male soulmates. For all we have had very deep soul connections...one is particularly close despite our differences...still, I'm not completely sure if any of them are wholly and reliably able to relate to women, including me, with an agape love that is free of the sexual glaze of objectified lust and/or possession, or else to value unrelated women first and foremost just as individuals, as people and as beloved friends. I feel in my heart that they do feel an agape love for me and other unrelated women, and yet the bottom line is that if for whatever reason a sexual relationship is not in the cards due to distance or what have ye, they don't seem to want to invest too much in a friendship, or else there are many, many obstacles and caveats relating to not wanting a more long-term, ongoing deep friendship that is not sexual. Yet these men are all quite different although, apart from opposite-sex relationships, all of them are spiritually quite gifted and advanced in their own way. And they've all done a lot of inner work on themselves. They are not unlike most men, most places and in most times, up to this point in our human journey as a species. To say this is a disappointment is a huge understatement...that you can truly share in purity and love within that circle of belonging that is a close soulmate...that you can know and be with one another at the soul level...and yet still feel rated or judged as being of low worth or value in your friendship according to sexual availability or desire or likelihood or distance...and so not worthy of a real friendship that they value and honour like any other beloved friend.

Many gents even in our modern-day society have great difficulty firmly valuing your person and your friendship if they are not getting sex or hoping to get sex from you, even if they do recognise a real soul connection and a deeper, heart-centred resonance. What I'm saying is that, at this point in the evolution of the species, very few men -- even the most spiritually advanced ones -- know very much about women (and the same is true of women regarding men), nor are too awfully many men able to deeply respect a woman in friendship when either 1) past university age too far and the innocence of true friendship between men & women is gone...or when 2) she doesn't want them as intimate partners or there is some other obstacle such as she's not down with casual sex or 3) if they would have to spend much face time in the friendship hanging out without sex and he would rather spend his time around women who will have sex with him, with or without a relationship (depends on the man).

Therefore, most spiritually aware straight women and men who are also close soul mates are typically NOT on the same page here. They ARE going to have conflicts as a rule around this in some fashion, which often are irresolvable at this time. Many men who are post-college or 20ish simply don't value a woman's pure friendship if they know they have no chance of shagging...I'm sorry to say, it's simply where we are at. And they will resent or refuse to spend much time on the friendship once they have becomed overly accustomed to associating any real time spent with a woman with shagging or pre- or post-coital activities, including errands and such. I know there are men on SF who may not fall into this category, but certainly some or most of YOUR soulmates and MY soulmates and most other folk's soulmates of the opposite sex certainly may very well do so.

So...to come to my point, you and this other gent are simply not on the same page regarding the value of pure friendship and love between soul mates EVEN if male/female. If you would be equally happy with a pure agape friendship between you two, with some quality time on occasion, then you are honourable and centred on this. I'm assuming this is true...otherwise, IMO you may have some work to do on this.

But if he doesn't value your friendship that deeply on his side even with a deep soul connection and resonance -- which very often is because you're not in a sexual relationship with him for whatever reason -- then I don't think there's much you can do except to let him know you value his friendship and you value him as a person...and leave the door open for that whilst moving on. Maybe drop him a line from time to time to wish him well and see how he's doing, if you are ok with him not responding. If you feel it's too hurtful, then leave off and send him love & blessings.

I think the vast majority of male/female soul mates who are not in sexual relationships are more or less in the same boat...meaning, your relationship is rocky or contentious around this issue, with one or both feeling that they are not valued as people and as friends by the other...or that the other doesn't take their friendship seriously or want to invest much of their personal lives in it, if they are not getting sex and other intimate relationship perks.

I hope this insight may bring you some comfort and understanding.
Peace & blessings,
7L

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by FallingLeaves

yeah... me too. It feels so awful to be so impaired in the face of her plenty. If I could just forget her that would be SOMETHING but I can't even do THAT.

FallingLeaves...I'm so sorry for your pain. Clearly what I wrote for BlueCat doesn't exactly apply to you.

But since you are on SF searching for your own path, you also may be one of those trailblazing gents of this new era who DO value women as their own person and not just because of their sexual aspect. And if so, really just jolly good on you, mate

So let me ask you this...would you still want and deeply value this particular soul connection if she were a completely different-looking person and not at all necessarily what you normally ever fancy? Or if she told you that she was not at all interested in a partnership relationship with you, but that she really valued you as a person and as a beloved friend?

Just asking...because if it's her heart and soul and her ultimate happiness you truly fancy, then you love her and want the best for her regardless, even if you and she are never in a sexual relationship. And even if she is eventually with someone else long-term.

If you feel your answer to these questions is YES, I deeply value her friendship and her happiness, and I want only her best and her highest good, then you should consider reaching out to her in friendship whenever you are able. A true and beloved friend is an immense blessing, and she may very well jump at the opportunity to have your friendship in her life.

And of course, you can always send her love and blessings until that time may come

I hope to hear back from you on your thoughts
Peace & blessings,
7L

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

I'm not sure what you mean by "soul family"... many/most of your soul family have not incarnated with you, hence my question.
As for 'common' soul connection, which I call soul mates, there is no need to be of same gender or to be in a romantic relationship. There isn't even per say a need to be friends. They bring you something that is of value and it doesn't always have to be brought in a nice way. Someone you seriously dislike could very well be a soulmate. One that teaches you something by mirroring you. Soulmates don't necessarily stay in your life either.

FairyCrystal, agreed on all points! I do of course just mean those soul family you have met or known on the ground in your incarnated existence

As for the closest soul connection I got, that is my TF. And yes, he would naturally be of the other gender as I am straight and ultimately TFs are meant to be together in relationship. Because of the reason of them getting together. The intimate part, yes sex, is important. Because it is about love. Sexual energy is very powerful and a couple cannot create the same thing without being intimate. Also as TFs there is a natural longing to be intimate, to be close, as close as you can get, to merge in every possible way and become one.
Think of Tantra, Kundalini etc. and why people are 'working' so hard to achieve higher levels through that. It's not just sex, it's about love and energy and what that then creates.
I've been there a few times and I can tell you that it is so unbelievably overwhelming, so beautiful, words cannot even begin to express what it is like to completely merge not just physically but energetically as well.
No way can non-sexual love have that same power. It can be deep and intense but not as much as what you can achieve when you combine that with love-making. It is truly magickal.
We have our bodies and our sexuality for a reason, and I for one don't believe it's for making babies only.

Other soul connection, like my son, my father who passed away, some friends etc., yes, deep connection. Unbreakable bonds. But not nearly the same as with my TF and that wouldn't be complete without the intimacy.

FC, this part is very interesting. I hear what you are saying and I agree there is a sanctity in the sexual act that not only can bring spiritual life into the physical but also is transformed entirely within the context of an authentic love between souls. I also get that folks understand the concept differently, but we all start from our centre and are connected to others in outward spheres...and always some are closer than others, perhaps even right next to you at creation. But does this mean you can never express, share or create love with that soul in some other context? That your authentic love for that soul could find no other expression in any other lifetime where you both incarnate? Plus, what if, frankly, you need a break from them, or what if they are tiresome and need to grow up & get over themselves? Hahaha For certain, it happens all the time.

For others, I wonder how is it they know they are always opposite genders...and for that matter, always both straight? As my memories of past lives have fleshed out a little bit, mainly after I asked for more understanding of them...which is a tough thing...I know that with my very closest soul connection, the one next to me when our souls came into being, we have been best mates, brothers, and partners, and our sexes have varied (only between male and female as far as I remember ).

How do I explain it? Just as I was always "me", likewise, the depth of my love, its intensity, his centrality in my heart never changed...it was the same eternal love for the same soul. But we were not always partners. And when I was the woman, life for me sucked in the extreme, aside from the brief interludes we shared...as we couldn't even be together publicly. Of course his experience of his surroundings was entirely different to mine...and he thought we would be fine just shacking up elsewhere and living as outcasts IMO. Just as when I was the man and he, the woman. She had a lot of resentment at how I spent my free time (work for the cause) & thought I didn't value her & our life together -- sound familiar? Meanwhile I basically just gave her cow dung "sweet talk" and did my own thing anyway and played down her feelings & concerns b/c frankly I thought I knew best even whilst partaking of her love & affection -- sound familiar?

But did I love him (her, lol)? Yes. VERY deeply...as in EVERY lifetime, including where we were mates or brothers. Being partners guarantees nothing and solves nothing on its own. It's all down to overcoming the imbalances and forgiving/reconciling in the time & place you are both born into, which even authentic love cannot do without a fully awakened consciousness actively in service to heart *and also* living in full alignment with spirit day-to-day. But none of that changes the love you feel for the other soul, at least in my experience. Nor the bonding of souls and the soul intimacy and love I experienced.

Is your experience different? This is a learning opportunity for me, so I am interested in what others recall of other lifetimes with their closest soul family.
Peace & blessings
7L