Why do you think only some are sexually attracted to their Tf's

Originally Posted by EternalBliss

I'm totally attracted to my tf... the sound of his voice is enough to get me going...
The depth of this attraction was shocking at first... I could not even imagine that something so deep could exist...

Ha. I'm so far over the edge that even the thought of him in his blue work shirt makes me catch my breath and my heart beats a million miles an hour.

What a mess I'd be if I had five minutes alone with him

[EricDraven]

Originally Posted by Twinflamefound

Ha. I'm so far over the edge that even the thought of him in his blue work shirt makes me catch my breath and my heart beats a million miles an hour.

What a mess I'd be if I had five minutes alone with him

Ahhh yes, but what a HAPPY mess I suspect....

Originally Posted by EricDraven

Ahhh yes, but what a HAPPY mess I suspect....

Happy wouldn't even begin to describe it! ;)

I must admit though, after i met him and couldn't get him out of my mind, I had the strongest urge to just hug him and be in his arms. It is the deepest feeling... all the other urges came after when I had plenty of time to daydream :)

Beautiful Life,

Have been thinking of my use of the word, "need," as to your wife, & your tf, who, needs you, more. That wasn't the best choice of words.. I was thinking of the interconnection & commitment you have with your wife as to need & the ramifications of divorce (it's quite a process & can be very devastating), also that as we can relate here, if you have tf & have met then it's not easy to forget about that, so my thoughts of need was that more of a spiritual continuity & since it is your decision/ it would be about what you are needing, desiring & in total what you feel most peace with.

My own way of dealing with life since age 30 has been that I try to do what is right in The Lord's Eyes, so that is my compass. Of course I grow & continually expand my thinking processes, through experiences of life.. sometimes things go smoothly then other times there are major challenges, which can cause a loosening of that which is fixed .. again to me it's about energy/love, THE DIVINE/GOD.

You mention that you were close to & raised by your mom growing up & here's this challenge where you are having to make these huge decisions which are not comfortable. Part of this is life, there are these times when one has to make choices they never thought they would be faced with making. Again, I think the fact you are honest & w/ seemingly very high energy will help you decide what to do. Sometimes doing nothing helps, at least in contemplating, praying about & then making the best choice (or choosing to not make a change but adjusting where one is at).

I have felt up against a wall in ways because the amount of loss & changes since he left that was pretty much forced upon me by his leaving/the divorce & financial burdens, my cortisol levels I am sure have been very high.. it's takena toll on me.. so I decided the only thing that made sense was to amp up even higher, by taking more control over my health, learning more/Doing more to heal myself. There really is not going backwards but this forward energy.. & the tf meeting / being more connected to DIVINE/GOD that purity, is a raising of dimensional awareness.
I'm actually feeling Much better the last 4 weeks, certainly I'm not where I want to be yet.. but very excited about the hard work to heal my own situation/through better nutrition, more exercise, etc.

As I was aware before meeting tf, one has to have a balance to one's life to the best of their ability & not totally reliant on one person but to continually balance & grow. As I've said I feel for both your wife having just gone through divorce & from tf, also I completely get where the tf situation in knowing them is complicated because to deny this reality is not easy nor realistic.

I think of intimacy.. Love of the soul, the title of the thread.. >Why do you think only some are sexually attracted to their tf's..

What sets us apart as human beings is our soul, that love which is DIVINE LOVE, pure of heart & for GOD.

I'm not sure if only some are attracted this way.. I suppose it depends (I would think) on the situation.. moreso than the physicality of, because if the soul recognizes this other as other half, then the issue (sexually attracted to other half) would not be (imo) attraction or not, but the situation of the two in this lifetime & whether together or not this way, through marriage etc. Since they are of Divine nature & represent God's Love, if married then the love /intimacy would be of purity & purposed, for & of God.

I can see that there would be circumstances of which would create a division of the two, age difference, married to somone else, etc. BUT if the two are available to be together & it is of God then I would think that if one is not willing to push through this / because of choice they are making it has more to do with their own lack of connectedness to self. These Are about balancing of self & with God & until both are ready & with higher purpose (which is huge & very key inthese but really in all relationships it is not just of the two, there are other focuses)... & since so many it seems are not together & that we are to lean into GOD the outcome may not be till Heaven. But the soul must purify to enter The Pearly Gates & that is between each person & their Maker.

I just think these are very beautiful, pure & not for the purpose of only self/ some sort of fling or milangering of who's better than who. It is a ying/yang with purpose DIVINE, for GOD. The respect of self & of the other, half, is not something to take lightly (imo).

Originally Posted by 79810PM

Have been thinking of my use of the word, "need," as to your wife, & your tf, who, needs you, more. That wasn't the best choice of words.. I was thinking of the interconnection & commitment you have with your wife as to need & the ramifications of divorce (it's quite a process & can be very devastating), also that as we can relate here, if you have tf & have met then it's not easy to forget about that, so my thoughts of need was that more of a spiritual continuity & since it is your decision/ it would be about what you are needing, desiring & in total what you feel most peace with.

That’s the root of my problem. Who needs “me” more when it really should be about who “I” need more. I’ve always made decision based on all the parties involved versus on what is in MY best interest alone. So in this case I have a loving wife that wants to be with me and a TF that’s told me she wants nothing to do with me anymore. So in that case the decision is pretty easy. Than again this really isn’t even about “need” since I don’t ”need” either one of them. This is more to do with “wanting” than anything since if this was a case of “needing” something than I really wouldn’t feel any confliction. What I do need is to feel love and I already feel love with both of them so my needs are being met. My desires however are what is at stake and the real question is what am I willing to pay (pain to both myself as well as my wife) to satisfy them.

Originally Posted by 79810PM

My own way of dealing with life since age 30 has been that I try to do what is right in The Lord's Eyes, so that is my compass. Of course I grow & continually expand my thinking processes, through experiences of life.. sometimes things go smoothly then other times there are major challenges, which can cause a loosening of that which is fixed .. again to me it's about energy/love, THE DIVINE/GOD.

My compass has always been that no matter what I do it is and was the right choice. That part of the problem. No matter what choice I make it always ends up being the right choice so I really don’t have much anxiety in making decisions in fear of being wrong as much as I do in regards to the direction that decision will take me. Its like two paths going to the same location. Ones a short easy road while the other is long difficult. Ultimately I’ll arrive at the same destination however my decisions will dictate on how I arrive there.

Originally Posted by 79810PM

You mention that you were close to & raised by your mom growing up & here's this challenge where you are having to make these huge decisions which are not comfortable. Part of this is life, there are these times when one has to make choices they never thought they would be faced with making. Again, I think the fact you are honest & w/ seemingly very high energy will help you decide what to do. Sometimes doing nothing helps, at least in contemplating, praying about & then making the best choice (or choosing to not make a change but adjusting where one is at).

Yeah I agree that sometimes doing nothing is the right thing to do. It’s something I’ve always struggled with. My Ego wants to be in control and would rather make the wrong decision than to allow the decision to be made without me “actively” controlling the outcome. Then again doing nothing is a decision in itself. It’s the decision to say on the current path versus trying to change that path in hopes of a more favorable outcome. I’ve always seen regrets in life though as those paths that you choose not to follow out of fear and/or pain. So regrets to me would be the outcome of not doing something versus doing something and finding out it was the wrong thing to do. I truly believe that changing your current path usually leads to happiness since you wouldn’t have changed your path if you were happy to begin with. So that’s what’s so tempting to me when I’m faced with a decision. Doing nothing can lead to regrets down the road while doing something can lead to a higher level of happiness.

Originally Posted by 79810PM

As I was aware before meeting tf, one has to have a balance to one's life to the best of their ability & not totally reliant on one person but to continually balance & grow. As I've said I feel for both your wife having just gone through divorce & from tf, also I completely get where the tf situation in knowing them is complicated because to deny this reality is not easy nor realistic.

It’s funny because I thought I was completely balanced before I met my TF and only after meeting her did I realize how unbalanced my life was. Namely I was strong in mind and body but was completely undeveloped at the soul level. Her life was the same so it’s no wonder things didn’t work out. What was is hard to understand is why this would be an obstacle in our relationship when in other relationships this whole balancing issue didn’t matter one bit. Either way this entire experience has been for the best since if I never met my TF who knows how many more years I’d have let pass by without working on my spiritual development.

I am totally attracted to my TF! Which is still a shock to me...I spent my whole life having "issues" with physical contact (so much so that at times I thought maybe I had a touch of autism or something...) so never really felt "attracted" to anyone....
Then my TF appeared in my life - and everything changed. It's like he is the only one who ever had the key to get past my defenses - when we touch, kiss, embrace or make love, it is the most incredible feeling of warmth and homecoming and peace that I have ever felt.
Physically, he is not what I would have described as my "ideal"...but when I look at him, I see his spirit and his soul - pure, complete, total love :)