Can we define our path ?

[Heart]

Originally Posted by Nikos1982

Heart, I know this connection is a 'true love' , thanks for the message.

Namaste: welcome to this forum

[Heart]

Originally Posted by irisa

First off.. I wish to thank Nicos,

...you are awakening to your true potential, just let it all go. Surrender unto your own heart, give back the love you have for him… to the unknowable, to the entire universe, it deserves your love, needs your loving energy, reflect your love for him to the entire universe

I thank Nikos as well! For having started this thread...it feels like i am stealing it now, but i think i should or could see it as the way of the universe...sometimes you are suddenly caught by something written...even before reading it...i have that with dreams of others´...if i try and interpret them, so many times it feels like an answer to myself...the interpretation need not be the right one for that person, but on the other hand...how different are we really from each other?

I also thank you again, Heart! At the moment you sort of speak to my heart or soul. As i the part about...`you are awakening to your true potential´...when my eyes arrived at ´true potential´ so many tears again.

Yesterday, in trying to get my message through to him, i think i really hit rock bottom with my emotions...about what this blocking triggers in me. I just let it al out. Did sleep a little and this morning in between (more beautiful) tears i felt sort of a serenity again. It made me write him a last message...totally different from yesterdays´. Knowing it won´t be seen by his eyes, but it felt good...wholesome. It is then that (again) i understand how i needed this...this is also mirroring. It was for the first time i suddenly knew i wasn´t fighting him (or his behaviour), but i am only fighting myself. That´s what he told me already when we were still in contact. Yesterday it suddenly hit me how i found (saw) myself in him. What made me feel so much love for him...while he was just being himself...i recognized myself in it and realized back then that i, years ago, had started to hate that part of me...felt ashamed of that part of me.

How can you be ashamed of and even hate right that part (authentic) of yourself, when it is exactly that part in the other that makes you feel the most beautiful and ultimate love you´ve ever experienced?!

So...from rock bottom...going up again..

Pondering certain words ands questions that i found when the black cloud from yesterday and so many years already disappeared.

Like:
You (Heart) wrote something deep inside, truth, true love...I wrote about having a yearning for writing poetry again. And i was wondering if i am looking in the wrong direction...
This morning i thought: what if it is not so much about that yearning feeling, but is yearning in fact words/feelings/stories/truth/wisdom/love waiting to be invited to put their blueprint on a piece of paper...waiting to be written, to be read, to be understood and to spread wonderful feelings?
(but then again: they need an open and clear space to find their way out)

I was also thinking that it is ´a lonely road´ that i am on. But, of course, how lonely is it really? It is a long road...of course...it is called life..
To return to the thread as it was started by Nikos: thinking about that lonely and long road i suddenly ´knew´ that i am exactly where i am supposed to be and that i will arrive exactly there where i want or need to go. I believe it doesn´t matter which choices you make. I think we get a certain load of baggage with us even from before birth and our intuition leads the way. Thoughts/ego of course accompanies us, lots of times for our own good, but i now believe everything is right how it is supposed to be. I might feel sometimes, like yesterday, that i am in such a dark space and that this is not what god or the universe would want for me. But i think that i what we are here for on earth...to learn in the world of duality. Without dark, there´s no light. Without pain, there´s no love. Of course there´s always love everywhere. But in order to recognize love, to learn what true love is you need the experience in duality.

What i find a little bit weird: what i just wrote above, i´ve read that so many times in my life and almost always did seem to understand what is meant with it. But to really experience it consciously....

While you write to him, write also to yourself,
if your words are of unconditional love then your words to self is also unconditional
when you write to the universe all and everything is writing back, maybe it is in tones but as you listen at sweet nothings the universe responds back with unfathomable understanding
when you feel blocked know that there is also a part of you that is utterly free, its there trust me
when you feel your looking in the wrong direction, know that here….now…. is all that is needed
loneliness is just saying to you that it has been a long time to feel whole again. You invert your loneliness within and give it back to the universe your never alone, these connections teach us to hanker for someone now its time to send that connection back to its source, loneliness is the holding onto something that has been created by smoke and mirrors, he is a mirror your writing too connecting too, its why so many of these connections talk about why it ended… it has its limits, you and all who read this are limit-less beyond these connections… beyond him. Your not letting him go or surrendering to the connection your coming full circle…. To yourself

Yes, i was aware of that already...that in writing him in fact i am writing to myself. When we still were a little bit on speaking terms i would text him lots and almost every message i ended with: Well, i could also tell this myself..

A lot is happening at the moment inside...words are slowly finding their way up to my mind, looking for their possible meaning and place in poems or stories...