Too attached to the outcome

[muzamilsa]

I like a girl and we are in a relationship since last 4 months now, we both like each other but her brother consent is needed for the marriage and her brother is reluctant to say yes, as he wants somebody front eh same province to marry her ...

She spoke to her brother and he said No, the ball is in her court I tried speaking to her brother and nothing happened....

Now due to all this there is some pain whenever she talks about her brother and his opinion, this causes deep pain and suffering.

I think I got too attached to the outcome of getting her and marrying her.... This is causing a repulsion in getting this desire manifested... I really want to marry her and this wanting is pushing things back.


Now I have decided to give up on wanting and just chill in life... I don't want all this suffering to go further.

Can anybody help why this happened even when visualising and all the things I did to marry her....

What I mean is, is this the call for detachment from the desire...

Thanks

It is a terrible shame when a woman is owned by a male a in her family who can decide who she can marry and have children with.

It isn't right.

...

[joyfirst]

I don't know your culture or financial situation, but Source can deliver to you no matter what is the situation - either by changing her brother's mind or by you both deciding to marry without that person's permission. Either way, like you said, first you let go of attachment to the outcome and enjoy your life now as it is. Find that peace inside (it is a great skill to have, because that is what will make you happy, not your wife, despite of what fairy tales want us to believe), and then from that peaceful state, take inspired action or no action, if that is an inspiration.
How to let go? You might need to ask Source to help you - say "I am willing to let it go. Please, help me."

[guthrio]

Originally Posted by muzamilsa

I like a girl and we are in a relationship since last 4 months now, we both like each other but her brother consent is needed for the marriage and her brother is reluctant to say yes, as he wants somebody front eh same province to marry her ...

She spoke to her brother and he said No, the ball is in her court I tried speaking to her brother and nothing happened....

Now due to all this there is some pain whenever she talks about her brother and his opinion, this causes deep pain and suffering.

I think I got too attached to the outcome of getting her and marrying her.... This is causing a repulsion in getting this desire manifested... I really want to marry her and this wanting is pushing things back.

Now I have decided to give up on wanting and just chill in life... I don't want all this suffering to go further.

Can anybody help why this happened even when visualising and all the things I did to marry her....

What I mean is, is this the call for detachment from the desire...

Thanks

Muzamilsa,

You and your loved one are focused (attached) to an idea that her brother's permission is the sole power in the Universe that governs whether the needs of your heart and the needs of your beloved's heart must bow.

And so the Universe has given you both precisely the outcome you have told yourselves is true for your happiness. I say again....precisely.

Why ?

Because if you've studied LOA, as you've suggested, the "ball" is always in the court of what you tell yourself is true. In other words, the Universe always gives you the "ball" you are most strongly focused upon, not upon what you want.

You have "attached your happiness" to what you have given your power to...namely, the false belief that someone or something other than you, yourselves, has the power to tell you who to love and how to live.

The Universe is the objectified mirror of invisible Consciousness...your consciousness!

Accordingly, the Universe gives you, again, precisely, what you have told yourselves is true for you. What you tell yourself IS true, is reflected by the Universe back to you....AS true....exactly as a mirror does. Do you see ?

Allow me to provide some perspectives in the references, below, which may help you understand WHY it is NOT the outcome that you need to "detach" from, but the false ideas that you've "attached" (focused) your power upon....

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
Dr. Wayne Dyer

Hope this, and the references below, helps you to visualize where your true power is.

Your hearts, and any happiness you, and your Beloved may hope to have....

...is attached to that.

Reference: http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/sh...63&postcount=6

Reference: http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/sh...93&postcount=1

Reference: http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/sh...18&postcount=3

Reference: http://www.feelingisthesecret.org/