Why people fear being alone so much?

[Redchic12]

I think the older you get the less attention you pay to what others say about you “not having a partner”. I personally couldn’t care less lol. But of course the younger ones worry about others a lot so I understand where they are coming from. I guess I did when I was younger too.

If ide have known just how brilliant it is to live alone I would have done it years before i actually did.

Starman. Funny enough its often occurred me about having someone punishing me with isolation. I personally wouldn’t see it as a punishment as it would be a holiday for me, as long as I could have my iPad). Lol.

Luuuuuuuv living alone! Can’t think of anything better!

However having a couple of awesome friends and wonderful neighbours makes life even better. Gives you a good balance, so to speak.

OP…..Fear of being alone. Yes I can understand how a lot of people might fear it so maybe this quote would be helpful:

“There’s nothing to fear, but fear itself”.

This has always helped me along the way.

[Starman]

Redchic12, my brother thought he was punishing me by cutting me out of his life but actually he was rewarding me. My brother is a former Seattle Police Sergeant and he is very controlling. Frankly, I was very happy to not have him in my life.

I also love being alone; my wife passed from breast cancer a couple of decades ago and I thought about remarrying, but I quickly lost interest in doing that. I have lived alone for about 20-years now and I am enjoying my solitude and have become a very independent person.

Spiritually being alone is advocated for deep contemplation, and also getting to know yourself on a deeper level. I feel that self love is very important, although there are people who think they can only get love from someone else. The thing is to share unconditional love with others, without ownership.

In my opinion there can be a sense of freedom in being alone. We make sacrifices in a closely held relationship but we also make sacrifices when we are alone; although in both cases the sacrifices are often seen to be worth the benefit. Different strokes for different folks.

[Redchic12]

Starman. Funny you mentioning spirituality and being alone because I was thinking about that later on after I had posted my comments.

I feel thats another good thing about living alone, we can accelerate on the spiritual path without the distractions of another.

You state…..” my brother thought he was punishing me by cutting me out of his life but actually he was rewarding me. My brother is a former Seattle Police Sergeant and he is very controlling. Frankly, I was very happy to not have him in my life.

Sooo funny cos I had exactly the same thing my sister for the exact same reasons!

You state……” In my opinion there can be a sense of freedom in being alone. We make sacrifices in a closely held relationship……..”

Yep I think there always seems to be one person making most of the sacrifices or rather compromises. In my case I’ve done it too many times.

I think if I had to live with someone now, after a week ide be saying AIRPORT!!!!

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by Redchic12

I think if I had to live with someone now, after a week ide be saying AIRPORT!!!!

I'd be saying HOTEL!

[Redchic12]

Yeah a hotel would do as well ha ha

[Gem]

I also can't conceive of living with someone, but for me that's not to say I'm so spiritual and it's all ideal. It's true my conscious decision is to be on my own because I like it that way, but I can't deny there's some messed up 'stuff' playing into that.

[Redchic12]

Thinking about this subject today I remembered something my local Buddhist monk said, “many people seem to think that they would be much happier if they swapped being single to being married, or vice versa, but life doesn’t work out that way. You either have single suffering or married suffering”

I guess we’ve just gotta decide WHICH suffering we can put up with the most imo

Well for me personally, looking back on my life, give me single suffering any day.



I

[Altair]

I think the last couple of posts are overly cynical.

We are obviously social creatures. Even this online place is a testament to that, despite it being a thick wall between people and you have to make sense of some agreed upon signs (''words''), let your mind do the work and give it meaning. It's not comparable to actual conversation.

Besides intimacy, sex, and doing stuff together there's also the advantages of someone looking out for you, build something with, explore the world, and there are financial advantages when buying a house for instance. More possibilities.

[Gem]

Originally Posted by Redchic12

You either have single suffering or married suffering”

Funny coz it's true

[Gem]

Originally Posted by Altair

the advantages of someone looking out for you,

I actually had some stitches on my back which I was supposed to dress every few days but I couldn't reach it myself, and because there's no one to look out for me, that didn't happen. The stitches were removed today - it's fine.