Sexual orientation and Awakening

I replied to this same thread you started in the Members Only forum so I'll repeat it here:

As long as you keep control on your urges and act with sensitivity toward the peope you meet as likely prospects, what's the problem?

It sounds like your "awakening" is a broadening that is integrating your sexuality with your spirit(uality). For most people the two were split by religious dogma. And that's how they remain. Now faced with rediscovering sexuality as part of your expanding awareness of your Self, the flow of your experiences, you're discovering this anew. (Integrating my sensuality (as I prefer to think of it) with my spiritual self was a significant move forward. It is no longer a separate compartment of my life.)

To me it's a fact that no one is 100% straight just as no one is 100% homosexual.

The town in which I live is often called the capital of gay (in the UK). My only comment is they do seem to be a community aside with their jargon, gestures, a cultivated accent, etc. That could be because there are enough of them - you see their gatherings in ordinary pubs and there is one club for "newcomers" now open to all orientations. They don't hav to be clandestine. You don't say where you are located. Things there are probably different so I can't comment in context.

Don't be afraid to explore this in your mind; your contemplations. It doesn't mean you're turning gay, just embracing sex in a wider spiritual / self context. Perhaps physical experience will come your way in which case bear in mind the after-effects could throw you into confusion. Let's hope not but.....!

I'll add that I'm not gay as far as I know but I have explored the thing in the realms of imagination and astral.

♥

[Still_Waters]

Originally Posted by TonySG

Wow thanks for the great responses.

I find the Kinsey Study interesting. It makes sense that each of us are on a differentiating scale in regards to how hetero or homosexual we are. I have always felt heterosexual but also felt I may have some homosexuality within me. I will work to incorporate whatever I find :)

I guess it comes down to the question if our sexuality is determined before birth? If it isn't then social conditioning must play the determining role in the sexual identities we take on.

I recently heard something (not sure how true it is) that the first ever humans were bisexual and it was only when they discovered that male + female creates life did the orientation move towards heterosexuality.

I am glad that you found the Kinsey studies to be helpful. I thought that those studies might be of interest to you.

It is interesting that you mentioned that "I recently heard something (not sure how true it is) that the first ever humans were bisexual and it was only when they discovered that male and female creates life did the orientation move towards heterosexuality". You might want to read Edgar Cayce, the "Sleeping Prophet", who is probably the most documented psychic of our times. He explicitly addresses the subject of creation of forms and sexuality.

As a side note, there was a great sage from India, Nisargadatta Maharaj, who once said that "Sex is an acquired habit". That statement dumbfounded me when I first heard it but now I understand that better.

Originally Posted by Still_Waters

As a side note, there was a great sage from India, Nisargadatta Maharaj, who once said that "Sex is an acquired habit". That statement dumbfounded me when I first heard it but now I understand that better.

So great a sage and he hadn't sussed that from the beginning of animate organic life except possibly single-celled creatures, sex developed to continue the species? Humans are no "greater" than any other animate life. It's there, part of the ecological system, all in the same culture dish, of limited sense capacity. Ants are more industrious and single-minded than humans! Humans aren't even capable of living in harmony with the ecology which includes their reproductive instincts, wired in. The one advantage humans have over most animal life is they can distort and subvert natural processes.

♥

....

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by TonySG

Hi
I was just looking for an opinion on something I am currently facing. As I go through my journey of 'awakening' I am coming to face aspects of my sexuality which I wasn't aware of in the past. I have always identified myself as heterosexual. But lately I am starting to feel I may have feelings towards the same gender.

In the society we live in we are conditioned to be a certain way but as I wake up I notice that perhaps I am not what I always thought I was. I am not suggesting I am 100% homosexual (although I might be) as I have always been strongly attracted to feminine energy. I wondered if this is common during a spiritual awakening? Has anyone else experienced a shift in sexual orientation? Or is it just me? lol

This is requiring alot of courage for me to face due to the stigma attached to being 'gay' particularly for men.

Thanks in advance.

Tony...liking and loving others, truly loving them just as they are, is how we feel for anyone in our lives we care for deeply.
In other words, it's not all about us. It's simply honouring all that is good and unique in others.
If you love your fam, your kids (if you have them), your very dear friends....then you love them. And you want the best for them, full stop.

There's nothing sexual per se simply in opening your heart and loving others. In seeing them in the fullness of their humanity.
Seeing and honouring the humanity in others is beautiful and real.
It doesn't matter the gender. And you don't have to sexually know anyone to love them deeply and unconditionally.

If you do love someone, it should be about the person and not the sex. The sex is the fruit or the flower, not the tree itself.
Ask yourself...would I still love being in the presence of this person if we're not having sex?
Would I still want only the best for them always? With all my heart?

And many times, if they're your beloved friends, of course the answer is yes.
In many cases, it's the beloved friendship that is worth everything...and you'd not trade it for any sum.

And ANY life partner should already be a beloved friend...because you'd not ever use your beloved friend.
And you'd ever actively support only the best for them.

Those are the questions to ask. Regardless of gender.
I suppose what I'm saying is focus on the love.
If you want to be with that woman or that man for all your tomorrows,
then commit and mate with that person in the fullness of the love you share as life partners.

And otherwise, cultivate your beloved friendships because that too is priceless.
It's the people that matter. It's the love you share that matters...not their parts
and (if you don't mind me saying) IMO that's not what you should be focusing on to clear your mind.
The parts generally need to stay under wraps for a good long while in order to get to know others heart-to-heart and soul-to-soul

Peace & blessings
7L

Double post result of editing.

Originally Posted by 7luminaries

Tony...liking and loving others, truly loving them just as they are, is how we feel for anyone in our lives we care for deeply.
In other words, it's not all about us. It's simply honouring all that is good and unique in others.
If you love your fam, your kids (if you have them), your very dear friends....then you love them. And you want the best for them, full stop.

There's nothing sexual per se simply in opening your heart and loving others. In seeing them in the fullness of their humanity.
Seeing and honouring the humanity in others is beautiful and real.
It doesn't matter the gender. And you don't have to sexually know anyone to love them deeply and unconditionally.

Peace & blessings
7L

Just my views. but I don’t think love necessarily involves sex just as sex doesn’t necessarily involve love. All too often a couple meet, have sex and delude themselves into thinking they’re in love when really they love the sex, not each other, as the break-up rate of intimate relationships shows. I think the danger here is in confusing the two.

Here it seems to be about physical / sensual attraction. The act of sex is about the great sensual inner worlds and two bodies transporting themselves beyond the edge of consciousness - probably the closest one gets to (in the popular parlance here) shedding the ego, short of death – for some for a few brief moments but can with sensitive abandon last for ages until one drifts back enough to recompose oneself. For that it’s my belief love in its purest sense doesn’t come into it, instead a deep affinity and no shame or shyness which may need a special person. It can start with a knowing gaze, an acknowledgement, a touch of hands. In a slightly different context it’s not much different from being sent to the heights with for example a piece of music that really gets under one’s skin, the sort that could fire someone to dance with wild abandon or, at the other extreme, sink into the deepest of trances.

Just an observation but this can become the enduring love and bond for the rare few. It makes it no less spiritual. But it’s on a different plane from non-sensual love, neither higher nor lower, just different.

Edit: The post duplication omitted my:

Peace and light to you, likewise, 7luminaries.
:)

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

Just my views. but I don’t think love necessarily involves sex just as sex doesn’t necessarily involve love. All too often a couple meet, have sex and delude themselves into thinking they’re in love when really they love the sex, not each other, as the break-up rate of intimate relationships shows. I think the danger here is in confusing the two.

Hey there Lorelyen
Absolutely...well said. They love the sex &/OR the heady ego trip &/or the momentary escapism &/or whatever else they're projecting onto it so they don't actually have to fully engage with the reality of another human being

Here it seems to be about physical / sensual attraction. The act of sex is about the great sensual inner worlds and two bodies transporting themselves beyond the edge of consciousness - probably the closest one gets to (in the popular parlance here) shedding the ego, short of death – for some for a few brief moments but can with sensitive abandon last for ages until one drifts back enough to recompose oneself.

I think that this is literally another lifetime of discussion, LOL... ;)
When I was younger and more naïve and could project a bit more (see 1st paragraph)...I could engage in the act thinking it was all that (love etc.) when later I realised I just had a partial understanding of love and that's what allowed me to tolerate and even desire the touch of another.

Now I'm far more aware of the nature of love and it colours the sensual act deeply. The stuff of my youth where I was good with a sincere yet still much more partial love (on my part mostly) would not turn me on because I now enjoy a much deeper heart connection with myself.

But you do hit on something, which is that there is a love of souls where there is a natural affinity of hearts, minds, and bodies. Today it seems most men try to engage the body first (with plenty of women just rolling with it), telling themselves what the hell, who needs love and a deeper emotional engagement? With some of the more earnest still perhaps naively thinking they can replicate this resonance we're discussing via sex. I find too many gents hang onto this fantasy for way too long, even when they know it's a lie.

But sex alone is ultimately never enough because folks aren't really being honest here...they're more being lazy &/or fearful. Success will be at best only momentary for the 99% and usually quite partial. And it becomes annoying when you feel too many gents are all out to road-test us for kicks whilst they "see how it plays out" (as in ever finding that needle in the haystack, = i.e., the deeper soul resonance, through sex or casual affection)...no thanks you lazy haggard lot hahaha But there is a deeper core of truth there, reflecting the love we are, when you do find that soul resonance on all levels.

For that it’s my belief love in its purest sense doesn’t come into it, instead a deep affinity and no shame or shyness which may need a special person. It can start with a knowing gaze, an acknowledgement, a touch of hands. In a slightly different context it’s not much different from being sent to the heights with for example a piece of music that really gets under one’s skin, the sort that could fire someone to dance with wild abandon or, at the other extreme, sink into the deepest of trances.

Just an observation but this can become the enduring love and bond for the rare few. It makes it no less spiritual. But it’s on a different plane from non-sensual love, neither higher nor lower, just different.

I think that in the cases you describe, the rare few, it is just love. And this sort of physical expression is a natural outcome. Otherwise, I personally couldn't even imagine being into it. But like anything, the soul is complex...the intimacies of the soul are beyond sexual union but are closely mirrored in it...and few would want the truth of who they are crassly exposed, used, passed around, sh*t on, or mocked. A soul, its heart, the nuances of our being...these are precious things.

So even with this level of physical resonance and love, if the beloved could not be present or be kind or be monogamous, many would still say I love you body and soul (for real) but I have to keep my clothes on. Perhaps I may even need to keep some physical or emotional distance from you...and we may just need to be beloved friends, etc. So IMO it is never just about the sex, even when it is heavenly and it is a true expression of love. Which is pretty damn rare these days given all the mindless/heartless shagging alongside a huge but totally understandable parallel increase (hopefully momentary) in the inability to love others authentically whilst using them as objects or outlets, whilst using others as means to an end.

But I agree with you that it certainly can be...in rare cases...the kind the bards and the poets speak and sing of

Edit: The post duplication omitted my:

Peace and light to you, likewise, 7luminaries.
:)

Much love & light to you as well Lorelyen!
Always a joy to speak w/you
7L

[Still_Waters]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

So great a sage and he hadn't sussed that from the beginning of animate organic life except possibly single-celled creatures, sex developed to continue the species? Humans are no "greater" than any other animate life. It's there, part of the ecological system, all in the same culture dish, of limited sense capacity. Ants are more industrious and single-minded than humans! Humans aren't even capable of living in harmony with the ecology which includes their reproductive instincts, wired in. The one advantage humans have over most animal life is they can distort and subvert natural processes.

♥

....

That quote from Nisargadatta Maharaj, "Sex is an acquired habit", is from his classic book of dialogues, "I AM THAT". If you're interested in reading the entire dialogue in context, it's at the end of Chapter 47 (Watch Your Mind) on page 217 in my edition.

That one threw me for a loop when I first read it, as you can imagine.

You are raising an interesting but entirely different point.

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by Still_Waters

That quote from Nisargadatta Maharaj...

I can actually spell his name now without checking his book on my shelf.
You?

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

I can actually spell his name now without checking his book on my shelf.
You?

Nope...
This is also why I refer to Tagore by his last name

Peace & blessings
7L