Depression - self inflicted?

I'm relatively young and I understand growing up is a difficult process, particularly for me; I experienced bad anxiety, eating disorders, self harm and alcohol abuse, to name a few things.

I'm much much better now, especially because I am more spiritual. I find comfort from meditation, angels, crystals, I often use EFT but I can't help but still feel quite depressed.

I try not to acknowledge me feeling this way because I feel like I could possibly be self inflicting it by telling myself 'im depressed'. I am probably the happiest I have been in about two years but I still feel depressed.

I want to see my doctor but i'm worried about acknowledging this depression and labelling myself with it.

Thoughts or advice?

Sophie

Hi Sophie,
It is always a good idea to go and see the doctor as he can help you to check if there is the possibility it is depression or not... but also you may want to ask for cognitive and behavioural therapy: this form of therapy helps you to understand your emotions and by doing so you can start recognising if what you are experiencing is true depression or just feeling blue / sad.. but also helps you understand other emotions and how you can manage them so overall a very good approach.

Hope this short advice may offer you some confort and understanding

Meantime be very proud for your achievements so far (I am :) it takes courage and will power to have walked the steps that you already took... Keep at it :)

Light and love,
Easy

[innerlight]

Acknowledging any ailment is not always a bad thing. Some do beleive that we give things power by acknowledging them. There is something worse than acknowledging something, and that is when we deny that there could be a something that needs our attention.

Many don't want all the strings attached to themselves, especially if it's something like depression. They may feel others will look down upon them, or they may look down upon themselves.

To get oneself the proper medical attention, or self attention happens when one is ready to do so, and sometimes that only happens when they acknowledge that there may be a problem, or something that needs their attention, or anothers attention such as a doctor.

[Native spirit]

Star child.


Your first port of call would be to see your doctor. he may if he thinks you are depressed put you on a short course of antidepression medication,
but you can ask to be refered to see a counsellor.
as has been said already CBT is the best form of therepy for depression. it is not vey long course usually 6 weeks , but it can take longer depending on how well you are doing,
but seeing your doctor would be the first thing.

Namaste

[andrew g]

It sounds to me like you are doing all the 'right' things, and you said you are the happiest you have been in a couple of years which is great. Personally, I got the sense that you might benefit from reading and applying the Abraham/Hicks material. Are you familiar with it? In my opinion, its the best of the manifestation stuff out there - its very empowering, and it demonstrates very clearly how to shift your energetic state of being through acknowledging and paying attention to what you are creating in each moment. ''Ask and It Is Given'' is a cool book. In a very different way, Byron Katie is also very cool and will very clearly show you how we create depressed states for ourselves. She also offers a wonderful tool to use. You can find her on www.thework.com.

Although these 2 recommendations are very different, in the end they go hand in hand.

Lastly, just to say, we all have our bad days, so go easy on yourself and be patient.

[secnarf]

hi sophie,

i feel i can relate to your situation. i have been dealing with depression for the last ten years. the first six was undiagnosed, and looking back things may have been much easier for me if i had gone to see someone. your on the right track, you've been doing the right thing for your own mental and spiritual health. if your not comfortable with what the doctor says ie prescription drugs, you are entitled to get a second opinion. also, when it comes to finding a therapist look around too. i saw a couple of different ones before i found someone that was perfect for me.
on a personal level, i found writing a journal really helped. as much as you can, let go when you right. i am an anxious emotionally repressed type person and the journal writing did wonders for me. it took a while to get into it but it was extremely therapeutic, especially when i needed to get rid of negative energy and darkness.
i still suffer from depression, and although things in my life are much better initially realising this was a bit difficult at first. was i regressing? was i just feeling sorry for myself? for me it was important to realise that the issues i am dealing with need time and space. wallowing in self pity still catches me out sometimes, yet the steps i have made in the last 3 years helped me to be more realistic about my situation. self forgiveness, and not being so harsh on myself helps alot.

if there is anything you want to discuss in detail, please do not hesitate to pm me.
i think you are doing a wonderful job and it is quite normal to have these feelings and thoughts.
take care and keep us posted

frances
x

Personally, I got the sense that you might benefit from reading and applying the Abraham/Hicks material. Are you familiar with it? In my opinion, its the best of the manifestation stuff out there - its very empowering, and it demonstrates very clearly how to shift your energetic state of being through acknowledging and paying attention to what you are creating in each moment. ''Ask and It Is Given'' is a cool book. In a very different way, Byron Katie is also very cool and will very clearly show you how we create depressed states for ourselves. She also offers a wonderful tool to use. You can find her on www.thework.com.

Although these 2 recommendations are very different, in the end they go hand in hand.

Hello, thanks for the recommendations. I have made a request on a book swapping website so will hopefully get them soon.


Thanks for all the helpful and supportive replies.

I have made an appointment for next Monday with a Doctor. I will ask about CBT, I have had this before but that was nearly two years ago. I am more eager than ever to improve my life so hopefully I will respond better to it.


Thanks Frances for your reply. I used to write in journals, my hand would hurt afterwards because the words were coming out so fast and I was just scribbling them down! I was thinking of making a journal on my computer instead as I still have my old journals and hate to go near them (they may possibly hold lots of negative energy?) I could print the pages of my journal off and burn them as extra release!

Originally Posted by star-child

Hello, thanks for the recommendations. I have made a request on a book swapping website so will hopefully get them soon.


Thanks for all the helpful and supportive replies.

I have made an appointment for next Monday with a Doctor. I will ask about CBT, I have had this before but that was nearly two years ago. I am more eager than ever to improve my life so hopefully I will respond better to it.


Thanks Frances for your reply. I used to write in journals, my hand would hurt afterwards because the words were coming out so fast and I was just scribbling them down! I was thinking of making a journal on my computer instead as I still have my old journals and hate to go near them (they may possibly hold lots of negative energy?) I could print the pages of my journal off and burn them as extra release!

StarChild, all of the repies that you received are excellent advice and am so glad that you are following thru with seeing a doctor. Sometimes and event can trigger a depression and our brains just don't produce the right mixture of chemicals to pull us out of it. Sometimes we can get ourselves out of it without anti-depressants, but a lot of the time wecan't. It will lift for a while (the depression) then sneak back and catch us unaware. That is when the cycle begin.You can't see it until you are deep into the depression. So if your doctor recommends an anti-depressant, like Zoloft, give it a try. And watching funny movies is always good advice. Laughter releases some of those needed chemicals naturally.

[Roselove]

depression is often in reaction to circumstances (feeling hopeless, angry) or due to chemical imbalance.. if that's how you feel no sense in denying it..

as someone that is growing through this myself i would reccomend therapy, journaling, yoga, bach flower remedies, vitamins, herbs, spending time in nature, hugging trees removes bad energy as do sea salt baths, changing your diet eating more balanced organic healthy can make a big difference, excercise, doing things you enjoy and are passionate about! self care, massage, refelxology accupunture etc seeing a shaman.. all good ideas..

Originally Posted by innerlight

Acknowledging any ailment is not always a bad thing. Some do beleive that we give things power by acknowledging them. There is something worse than acknowledging something, and that is when we deny that there could be a something that needs our attention.

I couldn't agree more! The important thing is that you truly wish to be well. Don't feel guilty if the case is that you really have a depression. It may happen to anyone of us, and I mean it - anyone, even the most positive person you may know. There is nothing to feel ashamed or guilty of.

Don't focus on the label, just follow whatever a competent therapist recommends to you - there are lots of conditions we are not yet aware of, so they don't even have a scientific name, and others that are incorrectly labeled since their true physiopathologic mechanism is not fully understood by the moment.

Hope you get better soon! You have a whole life to live and... the best is yet to come!